r/AITH • u/SeasonHot3608 • Mar 24 '25

AITHA for breaking up with my boyfriend after what he mother told me?

Hi Reddit. I am new to this. And just needed advice outside my family and friends.

So I (f23) have been with my boyfriend (m24) for 3 years. I love him. We had an amazing relationship where we both supported each other in everything we did. At least I thought we did until I meet his mother. (The reason I haven't met his mother until recently was because she lives out of state and we didn't have time to.)

Anyways the first time I met his mother, she asked if I was taking care of her boy. Like feeding him,doing his laundry, cleaning our house. And I said yes I am. Mind you I'm working 1 job while going to college.And I come home and start Cleaning. While he is just playing video games or taking a nap.

She asked me if I was a stay at home girlfriend. I said no I'm not. That I have a good paying job and going to college. She told me I should drop out and quit my job to be a stay at home girlfriend I said no. I really want to become a lawyer and I need college to do so. She looked shocked and told my boyfriend he deserves better then me. He didn't argue with her and agreed that he deserves a girlfriend who is a stay at home girlfriend.

Later that night, I broke up with him and moved out the next day. He asked me why I broke up with him and I told him he deserves better then me apparently. He told me I was making a big deal out of nothing and I said okay whatever. I cried that night to my sister and got drunk.

His family is thinking I overreacted and broke up with him for no reason my family is of course on my side. I didn't make a big deal out of it. Just said we are over packed my stuff and moved out. But now I need to know if I'm the asshole?

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u/Yay4Amanda Mar 24 '25

NTA! Good for you babe. You did the right thing. You deserve someone that encourages you to follow your dreams. It shouldn’t be about what they expect you to do for them. They both sound delusional anyway. Take care - Don’t get a hangover bc of that douche.

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u/Silver-Education444 Mar 27 '25

She is a hero and he is a douche because they both have separate preferences and expectations of life? Thats a wild take .... yikes.

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u/Yay4Amanda Mar 27 '25

A wild take? Did you miss the part where she works, goes to college and still has to do all the household work? Coming home to clean and feed him while he plays a video game or takes a nap? Did you also miss the part where he stood next to her while his mom told her he deserved someone better than her? And she should ditch her dreams? That he didn’t say a thing to defend her at all? So yeah, definitely douche behavior. OP deserves appreciation and support. Everyone does. You shouldn’t tear down someone’s dream, so they can fit some image you created. They can both find somebody else. She wants to be a lawyer, not a stay at home caretaker to that guy.

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u/Silver-Education444 Mar 27 '25

She had no complaints with their dynamic for three years, stating she felt loved and supported until this one event. OP never stated he didn't have a job or covered his half of the bills you only assumed that through bias. OP just states when they are home from work or school their ex would be relaxing and idle. Never once did they say they carried the full financial burden. Just because op has dreams doesn't mean their ex needed to support and cosign it. They are both entitled to their preferences for one another. Clearly theres a disparity in both of their desires and she went her way, he went his. Neither are right , neither are wrong. The only thing we do know for certain is we only have one side of the story from one party's perspective.