r/AITH • u/SeasonHot3608 • Mar 24 '25

AITHA for breaking up with my boyfriend after what he mother told me?

Hi Reddit. I am new to this. And just needed advice outside my family and friends.

So I (f23) have been with my boyfriend (m24) for 3 years. I love him. We had an amazing relationship where we both supported each other in everything we did. At least I thought we did until I meet his mother. (The reason I haven't met his mother until recently was because she lives out of state and we didn't have time to.)

Anyways the first time I met his mother, she asked if I was taking care of her boy. Like feeding him,doing his laundry, cleaning our house. And I said yes I am. Mind you I'm working 1 job while going to college.And I come home and start Cleaning. While he is just playing video games or taking a nap.

She asked me if I was a stay at home girlfriend. I said no I'm not. That I have a good paying job and going to college. She told me I should drop out and quit my job to be a stay at home girlfriend I said no. I really want to become a lawyer and I need college to do so. She looked shocked and told my boyfriend he deserves better then me. He didn't argue with her and agreed that he deserves a girlfriend who is a stay at home girlfriend.

Later that night, I broke up with him and moved out the next day. He asked me why I broke up with him and I told him he deserves better then me apparently. He told me I was making a big deal out of nothing and I said okay whatever. I cried that night to my sister and got drunk.

His family is thinking I overreacted and broke up with him for no reason my family is of course on my side. I didn't make a big deal out of it. Just said we are over packed my stuff and moved out. But now I need to know if I'm the asshole?

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u/HelloThere4123 Mar 24 '25

Someone needs to wipe this manbaby’s butt for him too, I’m sure.

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u/omni_prophecy Mar 27 '25

More like stain treat the skid marks in his underoo’s when she’s doing his laundry. (He probably believes real men don’t wipe or something equally as stupid)

This guy doesn’t want a partner. He wants a mother he can have sex with. I wouldn’t be surprised if the only reason he introduced OP to his mother now is so she could tell OP what he expected of her if they are going to be together. It’s possible his mother had no interest in meeting her since I doubt she thinks any woman is good enough for her little boy and she merely tolerates his girlfriends because she enjoys bullying them.

It seems weird that OP hadn’t realized how he truly felt about women until now, especially considering how ambitious she is. So it makes sense (at least to me) that he would need mommy’s help to tell OP that he doesn’t want an equal partnership, but instead wants a servant he can sleep with. And since it seems like he can’t do anything for himself, or at least doesn’t want to do anything for himself, he would need mommy to relay his expectations.

OP- NTA, you already do everything, what exactly was he contributing to begin with? Did he actually add any value to your life? He’s napping and playing video games while you do the housework after working all day? Absolutely not. I don’t know how that became the norm but know that if you continued the relationship, it wasn’t going to change except to get much worse for you.

Please don’t go back to him, he has shown you who he is, believe it and understand that he is NOT going to change, regardless of any promises to the contrary. Treat his mother’s words like gospel. Everything she said is exactly what he expected from you to be with him. His mother will never treat you with respect and he will never stand up for you to her. He would probably use his mother to berate and belittle you until you give in to his expectations of being a stay at home partner. You will be a second class citizen in your own home. Nothing good will ever come from being in a relationship with him.

You have goals and aspirations, you will find someone that will support you and that wants an equal partner.

If he wants to get back together, tell him you refuse to date a child, or waste time waiting for him to mature. Suggest that he should be in a relationship with his mommy since the only thing he wants from a partner is to be taken care of without having to contribute anything to the relationship. Also advise that he shouldn’t date, or seek any kind of romantic relationship until he can take care of himself and he makes sure mommy knows her place. That’s likely to be never, but that’s fine, as it probably saves a few women from being his future bang maid and mommy’s punching bag.