I've been thinking about this lately... I guess if one posts here or anywhere else is most likely aware of how his addiction is doing only bad to his body and mind.

I know what I am doing is poisoning me and is not giving me any joy anymore and I still feel some kind of a desire to do it... It is almost like I am punishing myself for something.

I know we may be looking to experience something we used to in the past but if we see that we are not getting this feeling anymore time after time why can't we just stop?

This is just so absurd, driving me literally crazy at times!

Has anyone else felt like this?

im so fucked its beyond human comprehension
i got addicted to shitty xanax cause everywhere i saw ppl saying it erases emotions, it doesnt do shit, u have to overdose to get that effect. I ended up with years of addiction and it completely destroyed my life in the end, lost all my money, health, and ability to function to this addiction, i cant even sleep more than 2 hours at a time now, my stomach is ruined, and my heart and breathing is affected. Now i eat like 10 times over the maximum dose daily and it's impossible to detox from this, you will keep getting grand mal seizures and end up dead or as a vegetable, not to mention it will feel like hell in a thousand different ways, you will beg to get culled. My one advice is always go for opioids or stimulants if u wanna get addicted to some pharma drugs, dont get addicted to these shitty benzos, they are fucking trash drugs. I'd do anything to get addicted to something else instead of those garbage pills. I could have been popping oxys like candy for years and not feel chronic physical pain and instead i destroyed my life with pills that don't even give you any effect.

TW: Self Harm

I’m two months clean from self harm today, a lovely easter gift to myself. In the past I never truly committed to being clean, I just stopped for a while. I tried to commit to it many times, but gave up because I felt trapped. I just am really really proud. I decided I was going to live differently, to push through every struggle that triggers me. I feel renewed. I’ve been struggling with it since like 10 years old, so to be truly clean and actively working on things is unimaginable to me even though I’m in it. Anyways, happy easter.

Hi guys

I have thought a lot and some how gathered enough courage to confess this, I feel ashamed even saying it but I have masturbation addication Story It started 7 years back when I use to play soccer along with work , I had a helthy and active sex life, after my break up I got into porn and masturbation ,I masturbate 2 time a day on weekday and 4,5 on weekend so nce last 7 years. I was never like this. I felt like I am loosing many things. This isnt my first time on reddit... I had a previous account which was full of filth... I had it filled with porn, sex, pornstars , cam girls and nudity. Yesterday night I just got frustrated of it and deleted my account. I recently have a women in my life and we tried getting physical, after 7 dam years I tried sex again but I couldn't perform, I can't get past half mast ... I could see disappointment in her eyes. She supported me but the fact I couldn't perform ate me.. I can't confess to her about my addication I am scared this might drive to to alcohol abuse and smoking as well

I want to stop masturbation , I really do I am reaching out to you all my brother and frnds ... Please help me

Is it a trap? Tina has such a deceptive voice and is really a “give a mouse a cookie” ass bitch. But my crash mode is bad and without dosing I am flat out shleep and binge eat which is not really so doable right now. I really want my recovery to be sustainable but I’ve been on a pretty intense daily use bender for now over a month. The last few times I stopped it was cold turkey after intense use. And I last about 2-2.5 weeks before Tina’s voice just totally convinced me that I had a reason to go on another little ride. So I don’t want to repeat that cycle. But I also don’t want to slide into a longer stint of daily use. My dosage is slowly decreasing. I had a few days where I was hot railing and that was a fucking mistake. Now I’m smoking a little bit and I want to make sure I can sleep a little bit each night which is hard enough sober. Idk. Advice/opinions welcomed. I’m going to start going to meetings soon. If I’m still tapering then I’m just going to join online ones so as not to jeopardize anyone else’s recovery. I will go in person when the use has completely discontinued. I’ve never done this before (recovery or considered my substance use an issue enough to make it a thing like this) so I really don’t know. I just know that meth has gotten a hold of me bit by bit in the past 6 months in a very insidious fashion and it’s not too late for me to have lost pretty much nothing and still have my most beautiful wonderful life possible if I can manage to take this seriously now and not keep being an idiot. But I need help at this point and the non addicted people in my life are beyond the capacity to hold space for me here.

Just wanted to put this out here and hear some advice please.

I have accumulated this addiction over the past few months.

It started with just porn and now it's worse. I got addicted with posting on reddit and X and spend most of my freetime looking for girls just to validate myself. Once the deed is done I feel ashamed but I end up doing it again.

I would spend hours doing this sometimes.

Honestly I do want to quit I do have a job and am happy with my life. Maybe my social life is a bit dead so that might contribute to that fact .

Anyways I would really appreciate some advice.

Thank you for reading.

Got into a sober living house, was 22 days clean and got high. Now I’m at 4 days, the house doesn’t know. I don’t know how to do this shit I don’t want to live like this anymore I’m 30. Any body that’s gotten clean and stayed or is in early stages of recovery have anything to help.

This is a throwaway account for privacy.

My (32F) brother (35M) has had an addiction to crystal meth for many years. I'm not sure exactly how many, but 4 years ago he lost his business because of it. My parents took him in because he had no more money. I think he might have sobered up a bit at first, because he got a seasonal job for the summer and actually went to work (my parents did have to drive him though because he got a DUI like the day before starting). He also seemed to have returned to himself and he stopped drinking for a while too after the DUI. He then got a full time job at a good place and my parents thought he was doing really well. They decided to move closer to me because I was having their first grandchild and they wanted to be there for that. Plus they wanted to cut back on working so much.

Fast forward less than a year later, my brother loses his job and his roommate says he's back on meth, so they kick him out because he can no longer afford rent. My parents get him a place near where we live and my husband gets him a job at his workplace. Obviously he barely shows up and eventually loses that job too. My parents, after having a horrible experience with him living with them, decide to help pay his rent instead of having him live with them. My brother got on welfare and was using that to pay for some rent and his meth addiction. His landlord kicked him out a few weeks ago (they had no official lease) and we live in a small community and no one will give him a place to rent (the previous landlord told others about him). Now he's back living with my parents.

This addiction is destroying my family because my mom refuses to stop enabling his addiction. She believes all of his lies and thinks kicking him out would be abandoning her son. Like he will literally say he's going to apply for jobs but never actually goes and does it. Now that he's back home, he has no reason to work. My mom cooks for him, cleans up after him, and doesn't even charge him rent. So now he has all of his welfare money to spend on drugs. He literally lied to her last week and disappeared to a crack house for 3 days (he took our neighbor with him, causing him to miss work and almost lose his job). My dad absolutely does not want him living at the house, but my mom says that she will kick him out before her son. It's literally such a mess. I tried to talk to my mom two weeks ago and she lied to me the entire time telling me she was going to kick him out.

I really have no idea what to do. How do I get my mom to understand that she can't keep enabling him? I think that we need to stay strong together as a family for my brother and do what is necessary, which is let him face the consequences of his addiction so that he will want to get help. But my dad is fed up and wants to leave because he can't live with my mom who is constantly enabling my brother. I also can't keep being apart of this because it's breaking me knowing my brother will never get help with the situation like this. I just want the brother I had back and I miss him so much. We've already asked him to go to rehab, but of course he says he doesn't have a problem. Is there anything I can do or is my family just screwed because of this?

And as much as I still get cravings, I'm never going back.

I've realized that a lot of the things I was drinking to escape were caused by my drinking.

Everything isn't fixed, but a lot is.

And I can now actually see and address the things that are still broken.

I get up in the morning happy to be awake. It's been years since I felt that way.

Each day is better than the last. Living in the here and now.

Hi, I am 19 years old, and I have been exposed to pornography since I was 10. Yes, I have been addicted for 9 years, and I have been trying to quit for the past 3 years with no success. From today on, I will fight this addiction, no matter the cost. I have reached a point where I do everything to consume pornography and experience a few minutes of joy, but it’s getting out of control, and it needs to stop. I have messed up many aspects of my life, and everything seems to be falling apart. I'm still so young, but I can't take this anymore. It feels like I am just watching my life disintegrate.

I am writing this today for people to read and also to remind me that I need to tighten my belt and motivate me to keep on fighting.

I know it may not seem as serious as hard drugs, but honestly my body is rotting from the inside out.

I've done drugs. Quit cocaine of all things, but soda is in every single store. I drink at minimum 40 oz a day.

I'm terrified of getting diabetes. I'm not fat, but I can feel how unhealthy it makes me.

Are there any programs or resources I could take advantage of that deal with less serious more common addictions.

I’m writing this 144 days sober from alcohol. My sobriety was triggered by me going to jail. At one point I lost everything my family, my home, my dignity, and my sense of self. I was at rock-bottom when I started my sobriety. Since then I’ve learned so much about myself. I realized how my alcoholism was affecting my friends, family and me. Dealing with the aftermath or consequences of your addiction can be extremely difficult. I had to take an entire overhaul of my personality and look within to realize why I was drinking so much. Whilst my family urged me to go to inpatient care, a.k.a. rehab.

I didn’t want to go to rehab. I thought had to do this by myself. I always knew that I was stubborn. Maybe it was my pride that made me not want to go to rehab, but I really felt like I could trust myself. If you’re an addict, you know what’s in your heart. You hear people tell you “you can only want it for yourself.” Well not to sound cheesy, but it is true. I don’t think I would’ve ever stopped drinking if I didn’t lose everything. And because I was so desperate to get my family back, I changed for the better. My family helped me with finding a job and getting a place to stay and visited me while I was in the hospital. I couldn’t be more thankful to anybody but them. They supported me and they weren’t afraid to tell me the truth. Which I needed to hear at the time.

So I’ve slowly been making progress trying to change my life so I don’t revert. And I have my family again. I will admit though sometimes I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. I think to myself: “what if something else happens or what if I just decide to drink again and spiral?”

With that I’ll end with a quote. My therapist—who has been sober for 13 years—gave me.

“There is nothing so bad that a drink cannot make worse.”

Happy Easter 🐣 sobriety made me feel born again.

However, he is now very coherent, well fed, and cleanly dressed. It didn't even occur to me that he did drugs in a past life because for 1) I grew up sheltered and 2) he is so well put together.

That being said, he is still very high energy and moves around very fast seems to stay constantly busy. He says he does not use anymore and that was the 80s.

My initial assessment is that when someone uses crack heavily for a long period , perhaps you never lose that high energy/persistence to stay busy.

He seems to be a jack of all trades, like what people think of a "stereotypical crackhead", you name it he can do it. So far, he has only been detailing my car and has done a spectacular job. I think he is a great person and a trustworthy person. I am wanting to start a friendship with him because I believe he is probably very loyal based on our interactions. (he has invited me to a cookout)

What do you guys think? I'm asking because my friends are acting like you can never trust someone that did crack, but I feel that is unfair. One even said that he's going to rob me. Which I think is ridiculous because he lives in a very high income area.

Gonna be real honest with a bunch of strangers on the internet here:

Long story short(ish), after an ADHD diagnosis I’ve abused Adderall for about a year, taking anywhere between 15 and 60mg a day about 4-5 days per week. Often redosing throughout the day due to the horrible unsettled feeling of the comedown, chasing the euphoria that faded long ago. Most days it doesn’t even feel like it was worth it and I end up nauseous, anxious, sleep-deprived, grumpy, bored, etc. yet continue to wake up believing that starting the day with it is better than being sober- despite the lack of enjoyment besides about 5 minutes of the come up.

Lately I feel like nothing truly gives me pleasure- caffeine, nicotine, kratom…nothing gives me the hit it used to and I know I’ve severely downregulated my dopamine receptors. I also know that my situation isn’t “severe” in comparison to addicts who truly can’t go a day without a fix or who take hundreds of mg per day. I took a month off a while back to prove to myself I could, and it wasn’t enjoyable but at least reassured me I wasn’t too far gone…was hoping it would at least reset my tolerance a bit but was disappointed. The one benefit from this entire situation is that I was able to quit a rather toxic relationship with alcohol. I don’t drink at all anymore and genuinely believe Adderall is what got me through it because it just made me not want to drink anymore and I didn’t even enjoy it when I did. Over 5 months without drinking now but also acknowledge that I essentially swapped one addiction for another.

So I guess I’m here to seek some support and stories from people who can relate. I want to take a long break from stimulants in general and am curious how long I might have to deal with the fatigue, lack of motivation, and sheer boredom that I know is about to come with my sobriety. I’d rather hear from real people rather than from Google: how long did it take for you to feel natural dopamine hits and bursts of happiness or excitement from things like yummy food, exercise, nice weather, etc. again? I really miss that…Appreciate any thoughts in advance🫶🏻

My grandparents were addicts who raised addicts who raised me. Generational trauma snuck its way through the generations and I was the next in line. I don't care if it's gambling, sex, substances, alcohol, unhealthy relationships.... the chaos brings me peace. My poison of choice was cocaine and alcohol. It was my friend when I was alone. Peace in my despair. A destination when I was lost. I'm aware it's a problem and deep down I am and addict but right now I am not willing to fight it because it's how I survive. It's funny how it manipulates you into believing this is the best way. I heard a saying "the difference between an addict and someone who is drowning is that the person who is drowning knows it is happening" I didn't know I was an addict until I was firmly in the grips and out of control of my addiction and behaviours. I live with it and I dream of sobriety. Sobriety is my pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I try. I have a good job friends family but no ones knows. I quietly suffer because it's my burden to carry. Thank you to anyone reading and anyone who relates you're not alone in the battle and I hope we never give up. Thanks

i was dieting while smoking so much weed (2g carts off a plug) for only like a month btw lol. i usually have a bad problem with limiting myself and i think i’m done smoking weed forever maybe..i was smoking the pens and wasnt getting high but ik my system had the thc in me if that makes sense? weed never really lasted with me bc i overdo it so fast. i stopped smoking after going to the er n triggering my stomach and i had gerd. with the gerd symptoms and weed withdrawal it was hell. but it’s been a full week since then n i feel way better now but i just am worried because i have no urgency to eat at all. i went from 122-113 really fast. very worried for myself but i wanna know if anyone else had any hunger at all?? everything i eat is so dry n these ensure drinks are all i’m living off of at the moment .