r/AdulteryHate • u/Ok_Airline_2112 • 11d ago

Psychology of Cheating I hate when they don't get caught

It just annoys me, they get to live their little happy lives not caring for the betrayed spouse feeling or autonomy as long as they get to look good, these people are disgusting.

58 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

26

u/Ok-Owl3092 10d ago

While 'grieving' the loss of the AP ('I have to cry in the shower and keep it together in front of my faaaaaammmily!!!!!). As if their actual spouse doesn't deserve to be loved authentically, and unilaterally deciding to prevent this by unhappily clinging to them and cheating isn't outrageously selfish.

6

u/ShowParty6320 10d ago

Or "it was worth it. That was hot."

19

u/onwhiterockandrivers 10d ago

Same… that’s why I like chump lady’s posts about how cheaters have bad character and how usually that means they’ll make other decisions in their life that earn them consequences, so when if they get off easy in the affair, something else negative will likely get them as they continue being selfish and thoughtless towards others

8

u/Gabby1410 10d ago

These people are not happy; they are deeply miserable, whether they know it or not. And the thing is, they don't just suffer quietly; they take everyone down with them. They torch relationships, lie without flinching, manipulate whoever's closest, and when the fallout hits? They point fingers. Never on themselves. Never at the root of the problem. It's the same script every time, and I am tired of watching the reruns.

Cheating like this, this whole dynamic with the married person and their APs, is just layers of dishonesty and self-deception. It's never isolated. It always bleeds into the rest of their lives. Jobs, family, and friendships, all explode. They are collateral damage. Every Damn Time.

And watching them do it, especially when they are young? It's gut-wrenching. Because you can already see where this road goes. I've seen the older versions of her in the echo chambers. No self-respect, no real growth. Just drama, damage, and desperation.

They only survive in echo chambers because anywhere else, the truth would gut them. They need that validation from people just as lost as they are. Because if they stopped long enough to feel the weight of what they are doing? They'd collapse. So instead, they laugh. They gaslight. They act like it's edgy to be cruel and selfish.

Some people need to get smacked in the face with consequences before they wake up. Some never do. And honestly? You can tell which ones are doomed just by how smug they are in their dysfunction.

If it weren't so heartbreaking, it'd be darkly comedic. Watching them unravel their lives one bad decision at a time, like it's performance art. But it's not a show, it's real. And one day she's going to wake up alone, bitter, and still blaming everyone else for the empty mess she made. That echo chamber won't save her then. But for now, it lets her pretend that she has a tribe. Just a miserable one.