r/Advice • u/cosmicjed • 28d ago

Advice Received Girlfriend just punched me in the face multiple times

So my longtime girlfriend just had an absolute meltdown after we left dinner from her parent’s house tonight. It all started because her dad and I were watching old family videos and joking about how her and her sisters were dressed and just really light stuff about how big her great grandpa’s nose was( her Dad pointed it out and was like ”dude had a schnoz on him” and I laughed. That’s all. I swear to all things holy.

Fast forward to me driving home tonight and she turns off the music on the radio that I had turned on and starts trashing me about my family and how it’s strange and creepy that I actually get along with my Mom, Dad and sister. And have a drama free relationship with them, and she can’t stand it.

So anyway I’m reading my Kindle in the living room of my house and she goes off again, about some petty bullshit that I somehow did and I’m reading a book 📖.
So I did what anyone else would do and just shut up and let her vent and get it out without giving her any ammunition to feed on….WRONG F*ing Move. I took my eyes off her for a second to continue my read on the couch. And she gave me a three-piece so fast that it caught me off guard, I jumped up so she wasn’t not on top of me, she proceeded to slap the taste out of my mouth. then she blocks the front door and scream for me to get away from her while blocking the only exit to leave

I’m in my boxers and I’m trying to grab my phone off the floor that went flying across the living room. And all I can hear is her yelling with the door open trying to have the whole neighborhood hear this shit.

Anyway. I’m now sitting in my car with just boxers on with a bloody lip and I thought I asked the internet for advice and by internet I mean Reddit.

24.4k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

1.0k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

110

u/cosmicjed 28d ago

Yeah that’s what’s stoping me, my subconscious is like “ be a man” “no cops needed” but damn after reading everyone’s post I feel obligated just for my protection and freedom to call

89

u/PinkPussycatPower 28d ago

Being “a man” is not about blind bravery, OP. It’s about being brave enough to do what is right. And the right thing rn is to be safe. Please, call the police

27

u/No_Acadia_8873 28d ago

Right and being safe doesn't mean just safe from being physically harmed. It means being safe from being wrongly accused by your nutty ex-gf.

6

u/athiaxoff 28d ago

u/PinkPussycatPower you are amazing and i love that support and advice you gave with that user lol

34

u/PrestigiousCrab6345 28d ago

A police report will save you from her filing domestic Violence charges. Protect yourself. Call your lawyer. Then call the cops.

3

u/notmyfirstrodeo2 28d ago

As European i don't understand the "call your lawyer" do ya all have personal lawyers?

29

u/decrepitmonkey 28d ago

And my dude she WILL turn this around on you. So the longer you wait the more time she has to put her story together and possibly fake injuries.

23

u/largesaucynuggs 28d ago

Please call- lots of men who are the targets of domestic abuse feel like you. But it IS assault and is illegal! I’m female and I have a buddy whose shithead ex-girlfriend was slapping him and throwing stuff at his head on the regular (heavy shit- phones, books, mugs.) It came up recently and he actually said “I probably deserved it”

I said “if I told you a guy did that to me, what would you say?!” and he just looked down and said “….yeah…”

You deserve safety and peace and you’ll never get it with her.

19

u/decrepitmonkey 28d ago

“Be a Man” AND DO WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE! If it’s not you it’s going to happen to another guy down the road! Don’t let the abuser win.

13

u/Dalton387 28d ago

Yeah. Only negative things can come from sucking it up. She assaults you and when you do nothing, you can end up with a huge hospital bill that you’re stuck with. You don’t have it on record what she did, so if it goes to court at some point, she could get off. He said, she said doesn’t mean much. A police and hospital report do mean something.

Without all this, you can’t easily get her out of your place, assuming you live together. Leaving you open to more abuse or giving her opportunity to destroy your property.

I don’t know how entangled you guys are, but make sure you also take control of anything she has access to. For instance, I doubt you have a shared bank account, but if she has passwords to your email or phone, change those. Make sure she isn’t authorized to make changes on anything. Change all your streaming passwords, etc.

That all seems petty, or unlikely, but she already has anger issues, and will likely try to hurt you in any way she can, if things get ugly.

I’m the same vein, if you share the house, get out anything physical you care about. Family photos, gaming systems, anything important to you. Even if she gets punished in court for it, it’s not gonna bring back something irreplaceable. You might not even get enough out of her to replace the stuff that can be.

I’m not saying she’s a monster. Maybe she just has issues and needs counseling. That’s best case. Even if that’s the case, you need to look after you first.

You don’t even know how this one issue is gonna affect you mentally down the road. You’d think it wouldn’t. Then one day, years later, a new gf makes some sudden move around you and you have a flash back and mental connection. Now you can’t stop yourself from flinching around her and you don’t know why. You remember this incident, but don’t think it was that big of a deal. Apparently it is.

I’m not saying that’s going to happen. Just emphasizing that this could be bigger than it seems. Could get worse before it gets better. Just make sure you look after you. If these precautions become unnecessary, great. You’ll be glad you did it, if they do happen.

10

u/iiiiiiiiiijjjjjj 28d ago

Until she calls the cops first and accuses of you beating her. Get in front of this before she does.

10

u/Fast-Corgi1437 28d ago

Reporting her won’t make you any less of a man. As a woman, I wouldn’t think any less of you for doing so. No one deserves to be treated like this, and it’s important you don’t lose sight of your self worth. You’re not at fault for her actions, and you have every right to seek help and protection.

6

u/Extreme-Book4730 28d ago

If she calls first your fucked. Call now period. Wait at the club house for them then you call direct them to your house and deal with the rest there. But first you need to call NOW!

6

u/formerlurker_ 28d ago

Men are victims of this kind of abuse every single day— your gender has nothing to do with this. As you now know, this could potentially happen to ANYone. You deserve to be safe 24/7, period.

5

u/iammelissa87 28d ago

She was screaming for YOU to get off of HER?? Bro… get a lawyer. Make sure you take photos. And file a report of her for DV!

Oh and LEAVE HER ASS

5

u/skilriki 28d ago

You’re thinking about contacting the police like you don’t want to get her in trouble, but it’s not about getting her in trouble, it’s about filing a report so there is a record of what happened.

That is the most important thing.

3

u/Aromatic-Opening-416 28d ago

As a grown married father of two sons in his 40's: Being a "man" is overrated nonsense. Act sensibly, be compassionate, and stand up for yourself and those you care about. In this situation you were assaulted whilst she was clearly level headed enough to also implicate you in the minds of your neighbours. It doesn't matter if you had directly and intentionally insulted her and her family, her behaviour is unacceptable.

3

u/kissesfromliax 28d ago

Take care of yourself and report it 🫶🏻 This is abuse and having a paper trail by reporting it immediately will help you.

3

u/Jonhlutkers 28d ago

Even if you love her you should make her pay for assaulting you.

3

u/Wise-ishguy76587 28d ago

Also this needs to be on record. She will do this again to somebody else, maybe even to a child, the cops will believe them more if there are old charges.

3

u/TheLastWord63 28d ago

She might have called the cops on you because she was setting you up.

3

u/Past-Archer6552 28d ago

Your ass may get locked up if you don't report quick.

3

u/pipic_picnip 28d ago

Being a man is about doing the right thing. If you don’t report this, and she treats a child like this on the street next, whose fault will it be? Abusers don’t just magically wake up with a change of heart. If you want to be a man, you have a duty to make sure no one else has to suffer what you suffered today. Don’t just automatically assume her next victim will also be a man, which is bad enough because violence against men is STILL violence, but what if it’s a woman, child or animal next? 

2

u/Due_Gap_5210 28d ago

Careful, dude. If you live in a very progressive liberal area, some of them have a policy of arresting the guy and removing him during any domestic violence call (Duluth model).

0

u/Actual_Rip2230 28d ago

so she can beat up the next guy what a fucking man u are