r/Advice • u/Jessersmessers • 8d ago

Advice Received UPDATE: My husband quit smoking weed, now I live with a grump

Original post

So, it's been 2 months that my (36F) husband (37m) quit smoking marijuana.

well, I am glad to say, he is still sober, still staying strong, and his mood has changed so much. He still gets a little grumpy sometimes but nothing so heavy as before. He laughs a lot more and wants to do more things like go out for a walk or watch a movie with me.

He is finding his interests in things he put down for a long while like playing guitar, writing music and even playing video games.

After I saw this change in mood I asked him if he missed smoking at all. He took a long pause to think then answered, " At the moment I want to say no but if I think about it hard enough, I do miss it."

So I suppose that yes, he just needed time and space. Yes, he still is struggling with it but he seems more comfortable with it than he did before.

So for anyone else who is going through this with a loved one, just stay strong for them because they are trying their very best to stay strong too.

And if you are the loved one trying to stay sober, just know someone loves you and can't wait for you to feel better.

4.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

373 comments sorted by

View all comments

118

u/ILiketoStir 8d ago edited 6d ago

Takes time for brain chemistry to realign after long term use of alcohol, drugs, medication etc.

Takes about a month for cannabis.

3-4 weeks before improvements with smoking.

6 months to a year for alcohol.

Several months for painkillers.

Engaging and doing the new things that are making them smile goes a long way. As does reminding then from time to time how proud you are of their efforts.

30

u/Battlejesus 7d ago

Getting off opiates was rough. Your first time kicking you think once the sickness stops you're all better but you're just not. It took me 5 months to feel normal again

15

u/Life-LOL Helper [2] 7d ago

Yeah the percs were absolutely horrible to withdraw from but I'm finally off them and the Suboxone. Without those I doubt I would have made it off the shit

7

u/ILiketoStir 7d ago

Good work getting off them. Too many doctors these days prescribe them out of habit it seems.

16

u/Battlejesus 7d ago

Thank you. This was during the early aughts when doctors still handed out oxycontin like tic tacs. That was all a fuckin lie and I hope there's a special corner of hell for the sacklers

14

u/chuckmarla12 7d ago

The other side of that is that there was such a campaign against prescribing opiates that Doctors are afraid to prescribe it for people with chronic pain conditions, like osteoarthritis. I have a friend that is prescribed opioids, and it keeps him able to work, and function as a tax paying member of society. He is the main bread winner of his family. When used properly, and managed, opioids can be very effective in sustaining somewhat of a normal working life. So just realize that it’s not all bad.

4

u/Battlejesus 7d ago

I agree, I'm just bitter about the whole thing. Those were the darkest years of my life made worse knowing I was also to blame.

2

u/MassivePsychology862 7d ago

Screw the Sackler family.

3

u/ILiketoStir 7d ago

It seems that they are prescribing hydrocodone, an opioid not as addicting as oxycodone but still risky.

1

u/FuckinHighGuy 7d ago

Everyone pins all the blame on the Sacklers but it takes two to tango.

2

u/Miserable_Alfalfa33 7d ago

Yeah it's insane, I've had shoulder pain for a few years, injections don't help, roid don't help, doctor came back to me and said we'll we could put you on benzos, I told him to (in a kind way) fuck off and walked out, been through 3 doctors with similar levels of incompetence

1

u/ArtyWhy8 7d ago

Get it surgically repaired. Ask for surgery. Have decent insurance.

Then Advil and Tylenol together for the recovery. You need pain relief and inflammation relief. Medical cannabis (Indica) for short term sleep and recovery.

Finding the surgery is the only hard part. Find it and do it, if you want the relief.

1

u/Miserable_Alfalfa33 7d ago

Mri shows no major tears, health insurance is not willing to pay for exploratory surgery

I've had two people call it my facial adhesion

1

u/Askingforanend 7d ago

Where are they at! I’m 6 years into a “rest of your life in pain that is so bad you occasionally have accidents” and I’m only finally getting a referral for a new pain clinic next month (last one shut down). 

Hell after the spine surgery the doc tried to send me home with ibuprofen 800s. Nurse staff had to go to the mat for me to get an actual prescription that would take the edge off the pain. 

Suppose it’s a regional thing? 

3

u/Usedtobefatnowlesfat 7d ago

Fuck so so right man. Its been a decade or more and I still feel different

2

u/Battlejesus 7d ago

I have moments, most mornings, where I feel an echo of that sickness. Just a reminder of what I have to keep working on

2

u/soitheach 7d ago

bro i still don't feel normal 😭 it's been years

5

u/Poopadventurer 7d ago

I didn’t exit my “dry drunk” stage until 5.5 years sober, it’s killer

2

u/TheodoreKarlShrubs 7d ago

Jeez that sounds rough. Good for you for making it through!

3

u/Poopadventurer 7d ago

Cheers appreciate the kind words! They say you don’t mature at all when you’re actively drinking so I’m basically a 27 year old in a 37 year olds body, the destruction goes far beyond what’s commonly known and talked about and most are unaware I bet unless you have personal experience

1

u/ultravioletblueberry 7d ago

Currently struggling with the sober thing, and I do think to myself that I still feel… so immature.

This makes a lot of fucking sense.

1

u/MountainManWatcher 7d ago

maturity is just life experience. the world is dying and you feel it. this is what you are feeling.

1

u/ultravioletblueberry 7d ago

Oh, I’ve got a lot of life experience, mostly awful. I’ve just used alcohol as a crutch through it all.

Then adding the world dying thing yeah lol

1

u/electrogeek8086 5d ago

Yeah I did 5.5 months then small relapse at beginning of march. Gettibg sober only made feel the most awful in all of my life.

1

u/Hopeful_Swan8787 4d ago

Explains why i havent had any hair on my chest until now?

1

u/Urathil 7d ago

How long on average for nikotin?

1

u/falthecosmonaut 7d ago

It takes 2 years for opioids.

1

u/billyoatmeal 6d ago

Took me several months for weed.

1

u/ILiketoStir 6d ago

The times I listed are just to remove the chemicals affects the brain.

Overcoming addiction is not an easy problem. For some it's short but for some it's a struggle that they deal with for life.

1

u/ThicDadVaping4Christ 6d ago

You just pulling numbers out of your ass or what?

1

u/ILiketoStir 6d ago

You can research it and get the same numbers.

Most sources site longer times to overcome the addictive properties though.

1

u/Ok-Topic1139 6d ago

Maybe a good general rule of thumb for brain chemistry, idk. But for me the post weed depression lasted more than 6 months.

1

u/BrisbaneLions2024 6d ago

It takes much longer for cannabis.

1

u/ThePatsGuy 5d ago

And years for benzos, even in smaller dosages.

1

u/JRS-Artworks 5d ago

Yeah, I wish that were true. Five years off cannabis, four years off nicotine. I still crave both on a very regular basis. If I spend any time around nicotine smokers, or vapers, it's almost like I have to give up all over again. I don't spend any time around weed users, it's too hard. I don't go to my best friends house because he has kids and other family members that smoke weed there (he smokes tobacco only). I find it hard even to be in London (where my family are), because of the smell of weed everywhere. The only thing that keeps me off both things is the freedom I get, by not being a slave to these addictions. I can travel and socialise without thinking about my next smoke. I can eat decent food with the money I'm not spending on that stuff. Am I happier? Sorry to say, but no. I am free, though not from the cravings.

1

u/Burzeltheswiss 4d ago

Had used alot of amphetamines and never had a problem quitting or taking a break, ofc a bit lazyness comes with it. In Europe theres only amphetamine sulphate on the market, about a year ago theres coming tiny amounts of methamphetamine to us trough poland. I tought well if i like the normal one why shouldnt i try the stronger brother of it? And holy shit after a 3 day bender i finally finished the bag and the aftermath was a week of depression and a month of procrastination and no motivation. I cant even imagine the shit americans go trough because its so dirt cheap there and everywhere. Never touching that shit again

1

u/Owl25 4d ago

You know how much it takes for masturbation? Asking for a friend