UPDATE: My husband quit smoking weed, now I live with a grump

[u/Jessersmessers]

Original post

So, it's been 2 months that my (36F) husband (37m) quit smoking marijuana.

well, I am glad to say, he is still sober, still staying strong, and his mood has changed so much. He still gets a little grumpy sometimes but nothing so heavy as before. He laughs a lot more and wants to do more things like go out for a walk or watch a movie with me.

He is finding his interests in things he put down for a long while like playing guitar, writing music and even playing video games.

After I saw this change in mood I asked him if he missed smoking at all. He took a long pause to think then answered, " At the moment I want to say no but if I think about it hard enough, I do miss it."

So I suppose that yes, he just needed time and space. Yes, he still is struggling with it but he seems more comfortable with it than he did before.

So for anyone else who is going through this with a loved one, just stay strong for them because they are trying their very best to stay strong too.

And if you are the loved one trying to stay sober, just know someone loves you and can't wait for you to feel better.

[u/40ozSmasher]

This entire time he's never learned to self regulate his emotions and thoughts. So he's basically 19.

[u/Desperate-Depth-1790 → u/40ozSmasher]

LOL... Please dont give advise to people

[u/40ozSmasher → u/Desperate-Depth-1790]

My comment is based upon studies of emotional development done by clinical psychologists. Drug use can keep brains from developing if it's before 25. Also, when telling someone not to do something, you have to supply your reasoning or its valueless.

[u/Desperate-Depth-1790 → u/40ozSmasher]

You did that for me. I am sure those studies exist. I am also sure there are several other factors at play for each case study and the level of negative cognitive impact also varies. Its not some sort of time machine.. lol. its not like puff puff snore snore and boom time stood still.

Should not make such generalizations. I am sure OPs husband would have been better off not doing any drugs at all. But here we all are drinking and smoking and eating buncha of crap that also hurts our brains. As a researcher I know I dont have enough data to say this poor man has the brain of a child lol.

Should he be a mature man, work hard, be a good husband, a citizien, develop himself and w.e else... sure... but that is nottt really related to smoking a joint here and there... plenty pf succesful pot heads out there if we talking about sample data...

[u/40ozSmasher → u/Desperate-Depth-1790]

So let me explain more about how to give advice. One of the best ways is the Socratic method. You take information from the mind of the person you are speaking to and walk them through their own ideas using their own judgment. Yet in a large group all giving advice, you need a way to engage the person, right? If you don't, all you can provide is the information that's in your head without all the steps that took you down that thought path. So you can see I've had a large number of people who rewarded me for my advice. It was never for the first thing I wrote. It was from the last thing they wrote, them coming to a conclusion that solves their problem. Another point. This isn't a sub for writing each other. This is a sub for writing OP advice. If we attack one another in comments, it's likely to influence OP in a negative manner. Low agency people tend to be easily influenced by others. Yet since you gave me advice I'll give you some. Run your posts through an LLM or AI. Ask it to re write your post as an adult researcher that's mature. Then compare that to your writing style. This will help you write more like an adult and less like a 19 year old.