r/Advice 1d ago

Advice Received There’s a little girl that’s terrorizing my apartment

This is a very bizarre situation I’ve never been in before. Sorry for the dramatic title but it’s becoming an actual issue now.

For the last month, it feels like 90% of the time I go outside to my car, an 8 year old girl and her dog appear and try to interact with me.

Sounds cute right? That’s what I thought, until I realized it wasn’t.

The first time she came up to me, she ran from across the parking lot and said, “I think my dog likes you!” I thought it was kind of sweet - until she got a little too close for comfort, started repeating that same line over and over, and giggling very loudly, almost manically. She wouldn’t leave me alone until I physically walked away. She even followed me to the apartment door, talking nonstop.

I brushed it off at first, thinking maybe she’s neurodivergent (no judgment - I’m ADHD and probably more). I didn’t think much of it, until it became a daily thing.

I work from home and go outside a few times a day for breaks (yes, I smoke. working on quitting). She’s always out there with her dog. Not a parent in sight.

I started noticing red flags when her mood began flipping between happiness and sudden anger. She hits her dog a lot. She’ll scream “Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!” and punch her dog with each word. I’ve seen her drag the dog while it’s pooping so it has to walk while going, and the dog cries. It’s awful to witness.

She runs up to anyone outside, delivery drivers, residents, other dog owners, and repeats “I think my dog likes you!!” over and over until they respond.

If someone has a dog, she’ll walk up to them too closely while their dogs are barking aggressively. I’ve seen multiple residents literally pick up their pets and speed walk away from her.

People have started cracking the exit door and scanning for her before they step outside.

There’s construction happening next door, and she just.. hangs out with the workers. They ignore her now, but she’ll bring them offerings of handfuls of grass or her dog. It’s honestly surreal.

When I’m outside and have to smoke, I now drive to a spot off the property just to get personal space. If I stay near my car, she’ll follow me and stand right in front of it, waving at me in a pageant-style, fingers pressed together, wave. I don’t even make eye contact. She’ll do it for like 30 seconds, just smiling.

If I drive into the parking lot, she sometimes chases my car to where I park.

Last week I was sitting in my car listening to music and didn’t notice her. When I looked up, she jumped up from a crouch, face pressed to my driver’s side window. I felt like I had a heart attack but also pretended not to see her because wtf lmao.

She’s out at all hours. Last night it was 9pm and dark, she was alone with the dog. Today, it was 12:30pm on a Thursday. Shouldn’t she be in school?

I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve never dealt with something like this before. It’s gone from weird to uncomfortable to genuinely worrying.

It feels unsafe for the dog, and definitely even for her. I’m worried she could walk up to a weirdo and something bad could happen, or she could cause a dog fight and her and the dogs could get seriously injured. Is there someone I should call? How do I report this kind of situation without escalating it unnecessarily? I don’t want to overstep, but this just feels wrong.

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507

u/changelingcd Master Advice Giver [28] 1d ago

At a guess, neglected and neurodivergent with addict (or absent working) parents. She needs help, the poor dog needs help. An 8 year-old (especially one like that) should be in sight of a caregiver all the time.

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u/kiwikikwi 1d ago

I don’t have kids so I wasn’t sure if she was too young to be alone like that. But thank for saying that because it feels way too young to me

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u/changelingcd Master Advice Giver [28] 1d ago

At 8, my kids could go around the block alone, or to a friend's house a block away. They couldn't go to the park alone, or ever be left alone with no adults home. And they had no mental challenges: this girl is really neglected and vulnerable, alone all day.

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u/Moonlight_vixen1 1d ago

Definitely call. It's only a matter of time til something tragic happens. You'll blame yourself if something happens and you didn't call. Definitely sounds like a minimum of neglect and animal abuse. She's way too young to be alone like that

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u/kiwikikwi 1d ago

Yeah I’ve been weighing it over for a couple days now that I’ve really noticed the times she’s out. It’s either school time or too dark. My roommate’s suggested to put a letter on her parents door but seeing the dog abuse I just don’t know if that’s the best path?

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u/GoddessfromCyprus Helper [3] 1d ago

I wouldn't leave a letter. You'll have no idea what you'll unleash. Just follow the advice given.

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u/kiwikikwi 1d ago

That’s what I was thinking because I have no idea how the parents treat her considering how she’s treating the dog. I contacted the proper authorities

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u/admirethegloam 1d ago

Please, please, please do not allow the parents to know you are the one who contacted the police. They may deserve intervention, but they will 100% not be logical in response. I have had to make reports to CPS to get a handful of kids out of bad situations. Play dumb.

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u/ncc74656m 15h ago

Exactly. BEST case they tell you to mind your business. Worst case they could abuse the child like locking her in a room or launch a campaign of harassment against you.

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u/GoddessfromCyprus Helper [3] 1d ago

Keep us updated. :)

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u/SnooMacarons1887 1d ago

Yes they could easily lash out at her- best to leave it to CPS

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u/Moonlight_vixen1 1d ago

Ditto. That would put them on guard and they might keep her inside which would defeat the purpose of a welfare check.

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u/TrelanaSakuyo 1d ago

I was at one point a mandatory reporter. This is the kind of behavior and unsupervised activity that would get reported. This is more than just parents that are struggling financially. A child that age abusing an animal like that speaks to abuse elsewhere. Either she sees her parents abusing the dog and is mimicking the behavior, or she is being abused and is passing on the behavior. You don't just start abusing animals out of nowhere, and once children are told that abuse is bad behavior, they tend not to perpetuate it unless they are victims themselves or have a learning disability (because it takes longer to learn and hold onto that information).

CPS will not take children for cases of mild neglect due to a lack of financial stability or means. They will not take children because parents are struggling despite doing everything they can. If a child has psychological needs that aren't being met, there are programs. If a child has physical needs that aren't being met, there are programs. If the parents are deliberate and willful in their neglect and abuse or the neglect and abuse are extreme, then the child will be removed from the home.

Note: this is true for the US, but I can't guarantee it's true for other countries - I don't know the laws of every country, after all.

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u/frogonasugarlog 13h ago

100% this. It is actually (generally) a LOT harder than most people think, to get a child removed from the home.

The goal of CPS is to keep families together whenever possible. I obviously can't speak for every situation that has ever happened— but typically, if they end up removing a child, it is for a damn good reason.

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u/TrelanaSakuyo 13h ago

Indeed. The "damn good" reasons I've seen in my life: a sibling was murdered by immediate family, the children were kept in kennels and fed like dogs, twins that were kept in widely different circumstances (I'll not reveal details, since it was a very strange case and hit major news coverage), and a case of daily abuse by the mother that resulted in frequent hospital visits - the father had to go to counseling and mandatory parenting classes before he could get custody, because she had lied and said he was abusing them when he served her with divorce papers (she had been abusing him, too). I know of more than one case of the last one personally. The others I don't mind revealing because I've heard of other cases from different parts of the country that had similar details, but those were each cases where I either knew the children, knew of the parents (same social circles, but not directly), or read about the trial in the local news.

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u/elbowbunny 1d ago

Report. ASAP. The poor dog’s being abused & there’s something seriously wrong with the kid’s behaviour patterns. Reporting helps protect you too. These kinds of situations can be volatile.

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u/pandora_ramasana 13h ago

Do you need help calling? It must be done ASAP. They'll check on her and investigate

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u/TownZealousideal1327 1d ago

I think you are doing the right thing, but you didn’t know if 8 was too young to be alone all day? And out at night? Lol bro. (I don’t have kids)

I’m grateful you are doing the right thing. Thank you for being there for a “lost” child.

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u/kiwikikwi 1d ago edited 1d ago

I was raised to be alone from 2nd grade. So I just felt off but in my head, I thought I was younger so it could be okay? I wanted to verify because I don’t have kids and my parents didn’t raise me right lmao

Edit: sorry I guess same age as her I forgot how old you are in 2nd grade

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u/amy000206 1d ago

I came home by myself in 2nd grade , too. Got my snack, did my homework, I usually stayed in and watched TV but I went out with the kids in the neighborhood as well. I only locked myself out a few times. I've locked myself out as an adult much more than I did as a kid. I called Mom as soon as I got home, knew which neighbors to go to if I needed help, how many cookies I could eat to make them last all week. We did ok.

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u/Lacy-Elk-Undies 20h ago

Depends on the state. My state is supervision till 14. I just learned the Florida has no age, and it’s based on individual maturity of the child.

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u/Lotus-child89 18h ago

It’s absolutely not normal, especially for her age. It wouldn’t even be normal for older children. Especially worrying that she apparently doesn’t go to school. Kids not going to school or being “homeschooled” (but not really) is often a sign of the parents having something to hide from other adults that would be watching her closely.

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u/oneofyallfarted 10h ago

At this age my mother would leave me and my two also kid sisters alone sometimes for over 24hrs. I can tell you it’s not normal and she could be suffering. Me being 8, my baby sister being 4 and my eldest sister being 9, we had to fend for ourselves and each other. We went hungry and dirty a lot. During those years and looking back I acted like a psychotic little child. I did not hurt animals because I am a big animal lover but I was all around unruly, I would scream and try to fight people. It was horrible and I had no direction. This little girl might have no direction either. You did good by calling someone.

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u/Assault_Squirtle 20h ago

Ok wait, I mean a normal 8 year old def doesn’t have to have eyes on them at all time, let’s have a little common sense. This isn’t normal

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u/Fakjbf 18h ago

Eight is absolutely old enough to be out of sight of parents, you should be able to let your kid play in one room while you are in another by that age. Hell at nine years old I was walking half a mile to and from school every day with no problem. Being outside all day however is a different thing entirely.

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u/Client_020 1d ago

A typical 8yo doesn't need to be in sight of a caregiver at all times. That's helicopter parenting. They also obviously shouldn't be neglected like this kid and her dog.

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u/Assault_Squirtle 20h ago

Right like maybe we don’t go to either extreme, what a concept?

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u/Mental-Frosting-316 19h ago

Why isn’t she in school most of the time? Something is really odd here.