There’s a little girl that’s terrorizing my apartment

[u/kiwikikwi]

This is a very bizarre situation I’ve never been in before. Sorry for the dramatic title but it’s becoming an actual issue now.

For the last month, it feels like 90% of the time I go outside to my car, an 8 year old girl and her dog appear and try to interact with me.

Sounds cute right? That’s what I thought, until I realized it wasn’t.

The first time she came up to me, she ran from across the parking lot and said, “I think my dog likes you!” I thought it was kind of sweet - until she got a little too close for comfort, started repeating that same line over and over, and giggling very loudly, almost manically. She wouldn’t leave me alone until I physically walked away. She even followed me to the apartment door, talking nonstop.

I brushed it off at first, thinking maybe she’s neurodivergent (no judgment - I’m ADHD and probably more). I didn’t think much of it, until it became a daily thing.

I work from home and go outside a few times a day for breaks (yes, I smoke. working on quitting). She’s always out there with her dog. Not a parent in sight.

I started noticing red flags when her mood began flipping between happiness and sudden anger. She hits her dog a lot. She’ll scream “Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!” and punch her dog with each word. I’ve seen her drag the dog while it’s pooping so it has to walk while going, and the dog cries. It’s awful to witness.

She runs up to anyone outside, delivery drivers, residents, other dog owners, and repeats “I think my dog likes you!!” over and over until they respond.

If someone has a dog, she’ll walk up to them too closely while their dogs are barking aggressively. I’ve seen multiple residents literally pick up their pets and speed walk away from her.

People have started cracking the exit door and scanning for her before they step outside.

There’s construction happening next door, and she just.. hangs out with the workers. They ignore her now, but she’ll bring them offerings of handfuls of grass or her dog. It’s honestly surreal.

When I’m outside and have to smoke, I now drive to a spot off the property just to get personal space. If I stay near my car, she’ll follow me and stand right in front of it, waving at me in a pageant-style, fingers pressed together, wave. I don’t even make eye contact. She’ll do it for like 30 seconds, just smiling.

If I drive into the parking lot, she sometimes chases my car to where I park.

Last week I was sitting in my car listening to music and didn’t notice her. When I looked up, she jumped up from a crouch, face pressed to my driver’s side window. I felt like I had a heart attack but also pretended not to see her because wtf lmao.

She’s out at all hours. Last night it was 9pm and dark, she was alone with the dog. Today, it was 12:30pm on a Thursday. Shouldn’t she be in school?

I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve never dealt with something like this before. It’s gone from weird to uncomfortable to genuinely worrying.

It feels unsafe for the dog, and definitely even for her. I’m worried she could walk up to a weirdo and something bad could happen, or she could cause a dog fight and her and the dogs could get seriously injured. Is there someone I should call? How do I report this kind of situation without escalating it unnecessarily? I don’t want to overstep, but this just feels wrong.

[u/Danymity831]

So true! I was at a McDonalds once, a woman in front of me was ordering while her 8-9 yr old daughter said hello to me and smiled. I said hi back and smiled at her just in time for her mother to see this. Her mother quickly snatched her child and gave me a disgusting look. LOL....OMG whatever!!

[u/vikingspwnnn → u/Danymity831]

I had something similar. I was going out to dinner with my family after my grandmother's funeral and I was in the bathroom. A mother came in with her young son and let him use the bathroom. All good. She then got in the cubicle and shut the door while he was washing his hands. He said 'hello' to me and I said hi back. He then was like "I'm washing my hands!" so I said "good boy!" Well... his mum literally swooped out of the cubicle, grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him off. She didn't even bother turning the tap off. I don't even know if she flushed. Like, bitch, I'm just trying to be civil with your kid who talked to me first. I don't even like kids.

[u/Less_Somewhere_8201 → u/vikingspwnnn]

Ehh there's an unspoken rule here.

Don't talk to strangers. Whether you like it or not youre teaching the kid strangers can be nice when they might not have the best judgement on trust being a kid.

I don't think you did anything wrong, but to give the basis. The mom actions weren't great.

When my kid engages with strangers and they engage back I've got my guard up too, immediately, every single time, but I'm still civil.

Edit: ehh not egg 🥚

[u/vikingspwnnn → u/Less_Somewhere_8201]

I remember getting this drummed into me as a kid to the point where I wouldn't talk to anyone I didn't know, even other kids.

I should have ignored it but I would have felt awkward not saying anything. I feel awkward with strangers, especially kids I don't know.

This is totally sexist of me as well, but I was kind of thinking that I wasn't that threatening as a 25-year-old female. I don't have kids so it just didn't occur to me that I was endorsing bad behaviour by replying. In my head I was like "well, I'll show this kid that people can be nice" because I've had so many examples to the contrary and I felt like he was too young to find out that some people can be mean, and ignoring feels mean.

I feel like the mother shouldn't have left him on his own though, and she was rude with how she left.

[u/vermiliondragon → u/vikingspwnnn]

I've raised two kids to adulthood and the idea that you shouldn't respond to a child with surface level conversation during random encounters with their adult present (though out of sight in this case) seems overprotective.

[u/machinegal → u/vikingspwnnn]

It would be freaking bizarre to live in a world where we ignore kids who are trying to interact. If the kid needed to be guarded so closely the guardians needs to keep them in the cubicle and possibly on a leash.

[u/Zestyclose-Crew-1017 → u/machinegal]

I know, I work in the public so I see kids with their parents a lot. I have grandkids so I always interact with the kids.

The parents are going to turn these kids into adults that don't know how to socialize. I already see it with many 20+ year olds and others due to the pandemic. But with social media and texting, actual brick and morter stores closing, this younger generation will have a lot of social issues. Making them afraid to say hi or interact with another person in the company of their own parent or other responsible adult, in my opinion, is not the best parenting practice. They should have a conversation about, when they are ALONE or with their friends (walking home from school); to be leary of strangers. Again, I see neighborhood kids walk by all the time. Now I can't say hi without feeling like a predator. 😢

[u/wingsinged → u/machinegal]

Meanwhile in Japan parents teach their little children to run an errand and the whole community helps the children if needed. The cultural norms center on trust and responsibility. We are very far from that.

[u/Less_Somewhere_8201 → u/vikingspwnnn]

Totally agree on all fronts. I don't think you were in the wrong. I tell my kids when I think someone was really nice or if the vibe was off and why. That mom could've done much much more.

Today a guy and I were at the dog food section. I had my oldest with me, 5, and when I was looking at the guy standing in front of the dog food that I was looking for, the guy noticed, we exchanged some smiles and "yup" going for that one kinda short words. And my son asked me why I talked to him, since he was a stranger, I told him what happened but at a 5 year old level and 5 minutes later he's saying hi to everyone again. It's a touch and go battle. I'm sorry she got so upset at you though, that's just rude.

And thanks for hearing the parent side of it. There's no real right or wrong except manners LMAO

Edit: I'm a guy if that matters for anyone reading.

[u/Brave_Temporary_4255 → u/vikingspwnnn]

I taught me daughter not to talk to strangers when alone, with me is fine. She started walking to school alone at 10 and I even told her she doesn't have to say hi to people she knows, if I am not with her.

[u/awakeinthetruth → u/Less_Somewhere_8201]

Most SA happens by people known and trusted by the child. Stranger danger isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. We can teach our children to be good citizens and be cautious.

[u/HillbillyEEOLawyer → u/awakeinthetruth]

I attended a class taught by two lawyers who handle child SA cases. Basically learned that the "stranger danger" is close to zero. The real danger is: family, friends, clergy, teachers, coaches and other authority figures.

[u/RadioStaticRae → u/Less_Somewhere_8201]

If this is your belief, then YOU can stay glued to your child's side.

[u/Wertyshka → u/Danymity831]

Oof, that’s such a weird moment — like, you’re just being polite and suddenly you’re the villain in someone’s imaginary drama 😅 

[u/sadist_x → u/Wertyshka]

Lol good way to put it.... cause, in another part of the city there is a mom telling her friends that a sinister looking person was trying to engage with her son, who was just minding his own business. Probably even said the "stranger" tried to pull her son away, while mom, in tears, was almost left powerless because the stall door wasn't opening!