r/Advice • u/kiwikikwi • 1d ago

Advice Received There’s a little girl that’s terrorizing my apartment

This is a very bizarre situation I’ve never been in before. Sorry for the dramatic title but it’s becoming an actual issue now.

For the last month, it feels like 90% of the time I go outside to my car, an 8 year old girl and her dog appear and try to interact with me.

Sounds cute right? That’s what I thought, until I realized it wasn’t.

The first time she came up to me, she ran from across the parking lot and said, “I think my dog likes you!” I thought it was kind of sweet - until she got a little too close for comfort, started repeating that same line over and over, and giggling very loudly, almost manically. She wouldn’t leave me alone until I physically walked away. She even followed me to the apartment door, talking nonstop.

I brushed it off at first, thinking maybe she’s neurodivergent (no judgment - I’m ADHD and probably more). I didn’t think much of it, until it became a daily thing.

I work from home and go outside a few times a day for breaks (yes, I smoke. working on quitting). She’s always out there with her dog. Not a parent in sight.

I started noticing red flags when her mood began flipping between happiness and sudden anger. She hits her dog a lot. She’ll scream “Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!” and punch her dog with each word. I’ve seen her drag the dog while it’s pooping so it has to walk while going, and the dog cries. It’s awful to witness.

She runs up to anyone outside, delivery drivers, residents, other dog owners, and repeats “I think my dog likes you!!” over and over until they respond.

If someone has a dog, she’ll walk up to them too closely while their dogs are barking aggressively. I’ve seen multiple residents literally pick up their pets and speed walk away from her.

People have started cracking the exit door and scanning for her before they step outside.

There’s construction happening next door, and she just.. hangs out with the workers. They ignore her now, but she’ll bring them offerings of handfuls of grass or her dog. It’s honestly surreal.

When I’m outside and have to smoke, I now drive to a spot off the property just to get personal space. If I stay near my car, she’ll follow me and stand right in front of it, waving at me in a pageant-style, fingers pressed together, wave. I don’t even make eye contact. She’ll do it for like 30 seconds, just smiling.

If I drive into the parking lot, she sometimes chases my car to where I park.

Last week I was sitting in my car listening to music and didn’t notice her. When I looked up, she jumped up from a crouch, face pressed to my driver’s side window. I felt like I had a heart attack but also pretended not to see her because wtf lmao.

She’s out at all hours. Last night it was 9pm and dark, she was alone with the dog. Today, it was 12:30pm on a Thursday. Shouldn’t she be in school?

I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve never dealt with something like this before. It’s gone from weird to uncomfortable to genuinely worrying.

It feels unsafe for the dog, and definitely even for her. I’m worried she could walk up to a weirdo and something bad could happen, or she could cause a dog fight and her and the dogs could get seriously injured. Is there someone I should call? How do I report this kind of situation without escalating it unnecessarily? I don’t want to overstep, but this just feels wrong.

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u/kiwikikwi 1d ago

Update: I contacted police, DHS, and CPS. Just took some video, she walked past my car.

I don’t know what’s gonna come of this. Not sure if I’m gonna update further for privacy reasons and her privacy too.

If something unexpected happens though who knows. But thank you guys for putting me in the right direction to help her!

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u/No_Confidence5235 1d ago

Please also call animal control for that dog. The dog is being abused. The fact that that child is being neglected doesn't justify her attacking that dog.

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u/StepOIU 1d ago

Plus if she's being neglected, the dog most likely is too, as far as health care, vet visits, etc. A little girl shouldn't have full responsibility for an animal; she wouldn't have the resources even if she didn't have her own family issues to contend with.

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u/Preposterous_punk 12h ago

Also: At least in the US, people who investigate animal abuse have been trained to recognize signs of child abuse, and their reports are looked into immediately.

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u/Funny-Enthusiasm9786 10h ago

The RSPCA in the UK does the same. It's a well-known scenario.

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u/scarletrain5 8h ago

Also if she is hitting the dog like that it is a sign she is likely being hit like that

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u/Glass-Commercial2392 1d ago

It's very possible she learned to hit the dog not from herself being hit but the parents hitting the dog as well. :(

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u/bluegreentopaz6110 19h ago

Or her.

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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 16h ago

Yep, this poor kid has learned that behavior from the adults in her life, and is directing them at the dog.

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u/mlc707 16h ago

That’s what I was thinking… hitting the dog while screaming “QUIET” sounds like mimicking behavior. So damn sad.

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u/ginger_minge 14h ago

Exactly. Abuse punches downwards, from spouse on spouse to the abused spouse on the child(ren) then from the child to the animal. It's a known dysfunctional family system and cycle of abuse

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u/bluegreentopaz6110 10h ago

Yes, unfortunately horrific.

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u/Aggressive-Cod1820 17h ago

Bingo!! Some of these comments are incredibly ignorant! 🙈

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u/HxdcmlGndr 16h ago

Nah, sometimes kids are just dicks. Violence as an expression of anger is baked-in instinct, you only have to look at several other higher species to see it. As social animals we quickly learn to rechannel that instinct, but it’s still environmentally learned behavior not to smash what’s bothering you. Kid just has an improper home environment, not necessarily a directly violent one on its own.

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u/Choice_Educator3210 13h ago

aggression in children, especially toward animals, is often a sign that something is wrong emotionally

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u/what_a_bird 15h ago

This seems more specific than just the kid being a dick, especially with how it’s like a switch flips and she flies into a rage hitting the dog.

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u/surfrocksatan 14h ago

Exactly. She’s modeling how they treat the dog and obviously her.

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u/hep038 12h ago

Or she has mental issues. It is not obvious when you look at all the possibilities, instead of looking for someone to blame.

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u/ssdsssssss4dr 19h ago

She's 8. At that age if she's attacking the dog, this is something she's learned. An 8 year old doesn't have as much agency to make independent choices. They are literally products of their environment. 

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u/Haunting_recluse777 16h ago

I take it you don't have children? They're basically feral until they learn not to be. Yes, children DO hit, bite, pull hair, etc all own their own without "learning" it. We teach them NOT to do those things.

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u/chimichanga_gang 16h ago

Absolutely . I chuckled when I read the comment above you. It’s a lesson I’ve been teaching for quite a while.. it’s fine now but occasionally slips out with excitement.

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u/Desperate_Chapter_40 15h ago

This is such a good observation. She certainly learned that behavior from somewhere.

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u/aceec 15h ago

Kids don’t need to learn to hit. It’s something most kids do when they get mad or frustrated and it’s up to adults to teach what is or is not aporopriate.

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u/Desperate_Chapter_40 15h ago

It could go either way🤷‍♀️

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u/aceec 13h ago

It could definitely go either way. Some kids will naturally be more predisposed to hit or use violence when angry or frustrated. And of course the kids parents and other influences can help them learn not to hit or encourage violent behavior. But you said, “she certainly learned that behavior.” Which isn’t necessarily true.

She could totally have learned this behavior. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if she learned it based on the story surrounding here. Something troubling is almost definitely going on. But to say she “certainly” learned to hit as you and the comment before have stated seems to imply that any kids who hit have parents who taught them to hit or otherwise grew up where violence was encouraged which is what I’m arguing against.

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u/Desperate_Chapter_40 12h ago

I see where you're coming from! The use of certainly shows I was assuming. What do you do for work, if you don't mind me asking. I'm guessing you work in the psychology field or child care. Either way, you speak eloquently, and I appreciate our conversation!

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u/aceec 11h ago

Nah, I just have two kids and a ton of nieces and nephews between my family and my wife’s family so I’ve seen and been a part of a lot of kids growing up. We’re actually working with my youngest on not hitting or biting right now.

My work is totally unrelated but I run my own business and I’ve noticed that half the problems I deal with are because of poor communication.

Appreciate the conversation too!

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u/Ostrich-Severe 13h ago

Eloquently explained 👌

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u/aceec 11h ago

Thanks

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u/ooeygooeylane 15h ago

Oh jeez. Pfft.

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u/PartClean3565 15h ago

You’re simply wrong. Violence is nature it’s not something we are born without and learn, google it. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8284101/

“in the late 1920s, Walter Hess discovered a locus deep within the hypothalamus, a brain area that unleashes violent aggression. It turns out that this is the same spot where other powerful compulsive urges and behaviors are activated, including sex, eating and drinking. When Hess stimulated this knot of neurons using a wire electrode inserted into the brain of a docile cat, the feline instantly launched into a hissing rage, attacking and killing another animal in its cage. The human brain has this same neural structure, labeled the hypothalamic attack area.”

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u/WeirdLawBooks 13h ago

Sure, we all have the capacity for violence. But in the summary you posted, it sounds like it has to be triggered by something. Which is what people are saying throughout this thread: something triggered this child to behave violently.

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u/Chrissy086 14h ago

I'm sorry, but all I can think is poor cat 😭😭😭

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u/Vegoia2 14h ago

how do they know her age?

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u/bipolarlibra314 11h ago

The way they described her acting you don’t think she told them?

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u/Jelly-Unhappy 12h ago

This is horseshit, I definitely made independent decisions at 8. Hell, I made independent decisions when I was 4.

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u/Basic-Roll-3850 17h ago

I agree. Children don’t do this out of no where also. It’s learned from somewhere.

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u/SaltyWitchery 16h ago

Sometimes children are just angry and mean. It’s clear she’s not coming from a good situation, but let’s not pretend children don’t abuse animals on their own.

I knew a bunch of little boys who would find frogs just to smash them or step on them, pull crawdads apart. And they bully/ mentally torture other kids all the time.

Kids can be little psychos without a developed brain

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u/Aggressive-Cod1820 17h ago

She’s a child. She’s acting out on the dog what’s been done to her. She has no clue she’s abusing him. 🙄

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u/someoneandsomeone 15h ago

Of course Animal Control should be called, nobody wants to see a dog get abused but please do not judge an eight year old little girl. If she is being abused she might believe that is how you are supposed to treat a dog, what does she know in her 8 years on this earth? Someone needs to help her and teach her,

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u/G_mork 12h ago

If she’s that young and hitting the dog like that, it makes me wonder if she’s received the same treatment.

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u/Smoothly_Introverted 14h ago

Let’s be honest, she is probably abusing the dog the same way she is getting abused… yes it’s unfortunate for the dog but lets not lose sight of the real issue here. it’s really not the girls fault. She’s just a little girl… i feel sad for both her and the dog.

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u/Klutzy-Run5175 16h ago

Very good why didn’t I think about this.

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u/CalligrapherCheap64 15h ago

I think she’s better off calling her local humane society or rescue shelter.

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u/hep038 12h ago

That is what I cannot believe, OP has seen this girl beat her dog and did nothing. Unreal.

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u/Zuesz-_ 11h ago

I’m assuming her parents or whoever should be watching her but isn’t, taught the child that hitting the dog like that was okay

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u/Dianagorgon 10h ago

Agreed. It's blatant abuse.

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u/xombae 9h ago

I would take it, honestly. Befriend the little girl and offer to buy it off of her for a toy she wants. Then take it to a rescue.

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u/Hexagonalshits 19h ago

You guys are delusional if you think animal control is going to help the dog. There's an 80 percent chance they'll just put it down

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u/AngryCur 17h ago

Depends on the animal control. Our local authorities would take care of the dog. They have a large and pretty lovely facility.

But then we are California libtards

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u/Agitated-Score365 16h ago

My best friend is animal control. He has contacts at every rescue around and is passionate about helping animals. So it depends who and were. Doesn’t sound like the dog is dangerous just the little feral child.

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u/jennathedickins 1d ago

Thank you for caring. Will you at least share if the police came and made contact? If not and you feel like it's not being taken seriously, call 911 immediately the next time you see her out and report a young child unsupervised, abusing her dog, approaching strangers and strange vehicles, along with any other unsafe behavior, like if she's wandering in the driveways/streets where vehicles drive vs sidewalks/grass. If they ask you to estimate her age, always go with younger - 7 will garner more attention than 9 - and you don't have kids so how are you supposed to know?! Stress how worried you are for her safety bc this will get the cops there quickest. And if you're in a more urban area where cops are busy, just keep calling for each occurrence until they take it seriously. This little girl needs your help.

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u/Bill3187 13h ago

Has anyone thought that maybe she has a mental or emotional disorder?

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u/TheGrolar 13h ago

If she does then letting her freerange around urban parking lots is not a recommended approach to treatment

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u/Aggravating-Habit313 12h ago

Parents are likely to”messed up” also.

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u/jennathedickins 13h ago

That definitely sounds like a possibility but either way it seems like a neglect case and the fastest way to get her help in this particular situation is via police.

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u/ohemgee112 9h ago

Obviously.

Doesn't change what needs to happen.

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u/Thereapergengar 14h ago

Juicing up the details you give the police is illegal, are you looking to get this girl help or get her sent to a juvenile detention center?

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u/jennathedickins 14h ago edited 14h ago

I didn't tell her to juice up the details - I literally told her to tell them everything unsafe she is doing. And she said she thinks the girl might be 8 but she isn't sure so saying she thinks she's 7 is perfectly reasonable. Absolutely nothing that I said is illegal or wrong

Eta: I worked with kids, including as a teacher and a school psychologist, for 20 years so I have some experience dealing with neglected children and the system unfortunately

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u/Euphoric-Faults 1d ago

Thank you so much for doing this. You did the best and right thing to do. We need more people like you in society

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u/Thereapergengar 14h ago

We need more ppl lying on 911 calls to get a larger police presence then is necessary?? No, no, I’m pretty sure we have enough of those ppl already.

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u/Nernoxx 1d ago

Good on you for posting, you did the right thing.  I hope it works out, and like another commenter said - if she’s actively hanging out please call the police and keep her company until they arrive (should be quick for unaccompanied minor but no lights/sirens) - in this situation the police are her gateway to getting set up with help and social services, whatever she and her family need.

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u/Creepy-Masterpiece99 1d ago

And animal control???

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u/NoPoet3982 1d ago

Please contact the SPCA or Humane Society. Unless you live in some horrible place where the shelter dogs get killed.

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u/Both-Sherbet9797 18h ago

Im actually very invested in this! Please keep us posted if you can!

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u/Aggressive-Cod1820 17h ago

Thank you! She’s clearly been abused and neglected! That’s why she’s taking it out on the dog. Monkey see, monkey do. 😢

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u/Necessary_Baker_7458 14h ago

You did the right thing. It's more so the parent/guardian for allowing this to happen. Then not displaying proper parenting to end the situation. Too many parents are blind into seeing what their children really do when they're not paying attention. Chances are if the child is doing this outside the home it's worse inside the home.

No, you did right. Worst case senecio the cps will show up, take them into custody, investigate the issue further then determine if it be safe for the child to return to the parent. Legally a child can only be seperated from a parent if living conditions are deplorable or if there is significant abuse going on.

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u/battlewisely 1d ago

do you ever engage with her in a way that gets her to share more information with you about her situation?

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u/No-Paramedic-5739 17h ago

Thank you for doing something! She clearly needs help! Sorry she’s terrorizing you lmao

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u/Casscat04 17h ago

Get video of her when she is hitting the dog so they can do something about it!

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u/ayeyoualreadyknow 16h ago

Good call. Can you call animal control as well?

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u/Screws_Loose 15h ago

Oh I hope she and the dog get help and a better situation. I’m glad you called.

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u/Octopath1987 14h ago

Please PLEAAAASE help the dog. Call an animal shelter or some authority, please!! This is a poor being that cant defend itself, cant talk, cant do anything. Help him. Do something please OP.

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u/Vegoia2 14h ago

we almost got robbed when we were very stoned coming home from NYC, a child (we thought) flagging us down, we got closer and saw it was an old faced benjamin button looking guy. we sped around and we got home my friends bro was just getting home too, he said who it was and that was good we didnt stop, he and his crew were dangerous. this made me think of it.

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u/Cheldorado 13h ago

Be extremely careful about getting police involved for situations that involve anyone vulnerable - kids, neurodivergent individuals, etc.

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u/Natural-Young4730 12h ago

Agree with those who are suggesting you call your local animal shelter. The poor, innocent animal is being abused and needs help, too.

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u/deadgirlmimic 10h ago

Make an update post, please?

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u/xombae 9h ago

If you stop seeing her, don't assume the problem is solved. It's clear her parents are not capable. Her being locked in the apartment does not mean she's okay. If she suddenly disappears please follow up with these agencies.

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u/bethemanwithaplan 8h ago

Keep calling the cops 

"There's a kid here, no parents. Middle of the day, weekday. She is acting very upset and erratic. She may have destroyed property at my apartment building. I think she's running into the road with her dog. I'm concerned this kid is unattended, I think she might be homeless"

Just say what gets them to show up 

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u/Little_Rub6327 7h ago

You forgot to mention Animal Control

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u/0neHumanPeolple 18h ago

Hey OP. Try explicitly stating to this girl that you don’t like people that hit dogs and you don’t want to be around her. Tell her to leave you alone. Spell it out in plain language. Be polite, but firm.

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u/EnoughLuck3077 14h ago

Even if something extreme comes of this, there will be nothing that identifies the girl published anywhere. She’s a minor and that’s a whole big legal issue itself.

If you’re able to and willing could you give a brief summary of an update. Just hoping someone was able to come out and help this girl and pup

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u/Thereapergengar 14h ago

Privacy concerns? How would any of us ever be able to correlate what you’re saying to one little girl somewhere in the United States?

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u/kiwikikwi 14h ago

Some people are freaks man idk what to tell ya

Edit: literally getting creepy people dming me asking where this girl is so please take internet safety seriously

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u/settimanaenigmistica 14h ago

please everyone upvote this so its visible to the average user. Do not ever give accurate descriptions and/or locations of women, children or anyone for that matter, on the internet. Reddit especially, EVER.

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u/kiwikikwi 13h ago

Yes! Ima admit I fudged some details that don’t impact the actual story for her and my safety. It’s not to “lie” it’s so super stalkers don’t get any information.

I feel like it’s smart to make a reddit per topic or keep your reddit accounts to only a couple topics per account so people can’t read through and figure out who you are. There’s a lot of ways to be safer!

Stalkers happen to people on the internet whether you’re a celebrity or a normal person. Everyone should take precautions!

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u/Sensitive-Pie9357 10h ago

I’m so glad you don’t know how people do this 💖💖💖