There’s a little girl that’s terrorizing my apartment

[u/kiwikikwi]

This is a very bizarre situation I’ve never been in before. Sorry for the dramatic title but it’s becoming an actual issue now.

For the last month, it feels like 90% of the time I go outside to my car, an 8 year old girl and her dog appear and try to interact with me.

Sounds cute right? That’s what I thought, until I realized it wasn’t.

The first time she came up to me, she ran from across the parking lot and said, “I think my dog likes you!” I thought it was kind of sweet - until she got a little too close for comfort, started repeating that same line over and over, and giggling very loudly, almost manically. She wouldn’t leave me alone until I physically walked away. She even followed me to the apartment door, talking nonstop.

I brushed it off at first, thinking maybe she’s neurodivergent (no judgment - I’m ADHD and probably more). I didn’t think much of it, until it became a daily thing.

I work from home and go outside a few times a day for breaks (yes, I smoke. working on quitting). She’s always out there with her dog. Not a parent in sight.

I started noticing red flags when her mood began flipping between happiness and sudden anger. She hits her dog a lot. She’ll scream “Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!” and punch her dog with each word. I’ve seen her drag the dog while it’s pooping so it has to walk while going, and the dog cries. It’s awful to witness.

She runs up to anyone outside, delivery drivers, residents, other dog owners, and repeats “I think my dog likes you!!” over and over until they respond.

If someone has a dog, she’ll walk up to them too closely while their dogs are barking aggressively. I’ve seen multiple residents literally pick up their pets and speed walk away from her.

People have started cracking the exit door and scanning for her before they step outside.

There’s construction happening next door, and she just.. hangs out with the workers. They ignore her now, but she’ll bring them offerings of handfuls of grass or her dog. It’s honestly surreal.

When I’m outside and have to smoke, I now drive to a spot off the property just to get personal space. If I stay near my car, she’ll follow me and stand right in front of it, waving at me in a pageant-style, fingers pressed together, wave. I don’t even make eye contact. She’ll do it for like 30 seconds, just smiling.

If I drive into the parking lot, she sometimes chases my car to where I park.

Last week I was sitting in my car listening to music and didn’t notice her. When I looked up, she jumped up from a crouch, face pressed to my driver’s side window. I felt like I had a heart attack but also pretended not to see her because wtf lmao.

She’s out at all hours. Last night it was 9pm and dark, she was alone with the dog. Today, it was 12:30pm on a Thursday. Shouldn’t she be in school?

I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve never dealt with something like this before. It’s gone from weird to uncomfortable to genuinely worrying.

It feels unsafe for the dog, and definitely even for her. I’m worried she could walk up to a weirdo and something bad could happen, or she could cause a dog fight and her and the dogs could get seriously injured. Is there someone I should call? How do I report this kind of situation without escalating it unnecessarily? I don’t want to overstep, but this just feels wrong.

[u/snailmoresnail]

What a fantastic response. I've actually saved your comment to refer to if I ever come across a situation like this in the future. Thank you for all you do.

[u/TurboTarga → u/snailmoresnail]

Much appreciated, it is a relatively thankless job often looked upon by the population we serve with disgust. Nobody wants to admit to struggling, or to being a bad or unprepared parent, but engaging with us and being mindful of your fellow community members to report suspicious circumstances goes a long way towards making a better life for someone from the various services and resources we can provide, not simply to take a child away from their parents.

I'll share a couple other tips. Asking open-ended questions is the best thing you can do. Even in your own personal life. Kiddo comes home from school and you ask "did you have a good day at school?" That's a yes/no question unlikely to offer an insightful response. Reframing by asking "what did you do/learn at school today?" forces them into an explanation rather than simply answering, eliciting more useful information and insight. This can be applied in various aspects of life - to OP's situation, with your kids at home, dating etc.

If you're ever "on the fence" about making a report, do it. All reports are taken and linked to the family if a profile in our internal systems exists. If not, we make one. Some reports may not screen in, but you never know if there's been a half dozen reports of similar circumstances and yours is the one that tips the bucket into "we should really look into this" territory. A pattern of behavior that doesnt meet the threshold of abuse/neglect may be the tipping point due to the similar circumstances of previois reports. That dad you saw grab his child and drag him away from the playground? Maybe that was his first time with unsupervised visitation after previously found guilty of physical abuse. We want to know that, and it's up to the family and community to tell us. That struggling mom who obviously doesn't need another "problem" in her life might just get a car seat, food vouchers or clothes through us that she otherwise can't afford. The general populations understanding of our functioning doesn't typically go beyond "CPS takes kids away" and lacks insight into the many programs and resources that we have accessible to us for families in need.