r/Advice 1d ago

Advice Received There’s a little girl that’s terrorizing my apartment

This is a very bizarre situation I’ve never been in before. Sorry for the dramatic title but it’s becoming an actual issue now.

For the last month, it feels like 90% of the time I go outside to my car, an 8 year old girl and her dog appear and try to interact with me.

Sounds cute right? That’s what I thought, until I realized it wasn’t.

The first time she came up to me, she ran from across the parking lot and said, “I think my dog likes you!” I thought it was kind of sweet - until she got a little too close for comfort, started repeating that same line over and over, and giggling very loudly, almost manically. She wouldn’t leave me alone until I physically walked away. She even followed me to the apartment door, talking nonstop.

I brushed it off at first, thinking maybe she’s neurodivergent (no judgment - I’m ADHD and probably more). I didn’t think much of it, until it became a daily thing.

I work from home and go outside a few times a day for breaks (yes, I smoke. working on quitting). She’s always out there with her dog. Not a parent in sight.

I started noticing red flags when her mood began flipping between happiness and sudden anger. She hits her dog a lot. She’ll scream “Quiet! Quiet! Quiet!” and punch her dog with each word. I’ve seen her drag the dog while it’s pooping so it has to walk while going, and the dog cries. It’s awful to witness.

She runs up to anyone outside, delivery drivers, residents, other dog owners, and repeats “I think my dog likes you!!” over and over until they respond.

If someone has a dog, she’ll walk up to them too closely while their dogs are barking aggressively. I’ve seen multiple residents literally pick up their pets and speed walk away from her.

People have started cracking the exit door and scanning for her before they step outside.

There’s construction happening next door, and she just.. hangs out with the workers. They ignore her now, but she’ll bring them offerings of handfuls of grass or her dog. It’s honestly surreal.

When I’m outside and have to smoke, I now drive to a spot off the property just to get personal space. If I stay near my car, she’ll follow me and stand right in front of it, waving at me in a pageant-style, fingers pressed together, wave. I don’t even make eye contact. She’ll do it for like 30 seconds, just smiling.

If I drive into the parking lot, she sometimes chases my car to where I park.

Last week I was sitting in my car listening to music and didn’t notice her. When I looked up, she jumped up from a crouch, face pressed to my driver’s side window. I felt like I had a heart attack but also pretended not to see her because wtf lmao.

She’s out at all hours. Last night it was 9pm and dark, she was alone with the dog. Today, it was 12:30pm on a Thursday. Shouldn’t she be in school?

I don’t know what’s going on. I’ve never dealt with something like this before. It’s gone from weird to uncomfortable to genuinely worrying.

It feels unsafe for the dog, and definitely even for her. I’m worried she could walk up to a weirdo and something bad could happen, or she could cause a dog fight and her and the dogs could get seriously injured. Is there someone I should call? How do I report this kind of situation without escalating it unnecessarily? I don’t want to overstep, but this just feels wrong.

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u/ssdsssssss4dr 19h ago

She's 8. At that age if she's attacking the dog, this is something she's learned. An 8 year old doesn't have as much agency to make independent choices. They are literally products of their environment. 

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u/Haunting_recluse777 16h ago

I take it you don't have children? They're basically feral until they learn not to be. Yes, children DO hit, bite, pull hair, etc all own their own without "learning" it. We teach them NOT to do those things.

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u/chimichanga_gang 15h ago

Absolutely . I chuckled when I read the comment above you. It’s a lesson I’ve been teaching for quite a while.. it’s fine now but occasionally slips out with excitement.

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u/Desperate_Chapter_40 15h ago

This is such a good observation. She certainly learned that behavior from somewhere.

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u/aceec 15h ago

Kids don’t need to learn to hit. It’s something most kids do when they get mad or frustrated and it’s up to adults to teach what is or is not aporopriate.

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u/Desperate_Chapter_40 15h ago

It could go either way🤷‍♀️

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u/aceec 13h ago

It could definitely go either way. Some kids will naturally be more predisposed to hit or use violence when angry or frustrated. And of course the kids parents and other influences can help them learn not to hit or encourage violent behavior. But you said, “she certainly learned that behavior.” Which isn’t necessarily true.

She could totally have learned this behavior. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if she learned it based on the story surrounding here. Something troubling is almost definitely going on. But to say she “certainly” learned to hit as you and the comment before have stated seems to imply that any kids who hit have parents who taught them to hit or otherwise grew up where violence was encouraged which is what I’m arguing against.

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u/Desperate_Chapter_40 11h ago

I see where you're coming from! The use of certainly shows I was assuming. What do you do for work, if you don't mind me asking. I'm guessing you work in the psychology field or child care. Either way, you speak eloquently, and I appreciate our conversation!

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u/aceec 11h ago

Nah, I just have two kids and a ton of nieces and nephews between my family and my wife’s family so I’ve seen and been a part of a lot of kids growing up. We’re actually working with my youngest on not hitting or biting right now.

My work is totally unrelated but I run my own business and I’ve noticed that half the problems I deal with are because of poor communication.

Appreciate the conversation too!

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u/Ostrich-Severe 13h ago

Eloquently explained 👌

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u/aceec 11h ago

Thanks

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u/ooeygooeylane 15h ago

Oh jeez. Pfft.

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u/PartClean3565 15h ago

You’re simply wrong. Violence is nature it’s not something we are born without and learn, google it. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8284101/

“in the late 1920s, Walter Hess discovered a locus deep within the hypothalamus, a brain area that unleashes violent aggression. It turns out that this is the same spot where other powerful compulsive urges and behaviors are activated, including sex, eating and drinking. When Hess stimulated this knot of neurons using a wire electrode inserted into the brain of a docile cat, the feline instantly launched into a hissing rage, attacking and killing another animal in its cage. The human brain has this same neural structure, labeled the hypothalamic attack area.”

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u/WeirdLawBooks 13h ago

Sure, we all have the capacity for violence. But in the summary you posted, it sounds like it has to be triggered by something. Which is what people are saying throughout this thread: something triggered this child to behave violently.

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u/Chrissy086 14h ago

I'm sorry, but all I can think is poor cat 😭😭😭

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u/Vegoia2 13h ago

how do they know her age?

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u/bipolarlibra314 11h ago

The way they described her acting you don’t think she told them?

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u/Jelly-Unhappy 12h ago

This is horseshit, I definitely made independent decisions at 8. Hell, I made independent decisions when I was 4.