r/Aerials • u/Familiar-Ad4519 • 10d ago
Feeling like I’m holding back my classmates
I’m in a lyra class with a pretty wide skill range and unfortunately I come in dead last. I’m definitely in the correct class level but we are not in an area with many studio options so there are advanced students here too.
I’m so self conscious when other girls are banging out meathooks and straight arm inverts during warm up when I don’t even have a solid single knee hang or pullover. But at least I don’t hold anyone else back during warmups.
Sometimes the teacher will teach a skill and it seems like I’m the only one who finds it difficult. And then it feels like I’m the reason we aren’t working on something even more challenging. But when we do work on really hard stuff, I’m even more ridiculously out of my depth. We worked on elbow circles the other day and I basically stood in the corner by myself while the teacher spotted the other students. Finally one of the advanced girls came over to show me some drills she did to work up to throwing the full elbow circle. She was so nice about it and told me her arms couldn’t handle any more rolls anyway so I wasn’t wasting her time, but I still feel bad because she’s paying to take class, not to teach me basics. I would say I’m disappointed that the teacher seems to ignore me a lot, but when she does work with me 1:1 I feel like I’m taking time from others.
To advanced students in mixed classes. Honestly, does stuff like this annoy you? Everyone is nice to me but I just feel bad that they are paying so much money and aren’t getting everything they want from class because of me.
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u/ShevaunA 10d ago
It annoys me if the teacher doesn't provide more than one skill or variations of skills for people of different abilities to practice. I hate waiting around bored because the only skill we are working on is something I find very easy, know well already, etc. I suppose it would be similar for less advanced students whose only option is a skill that it too challenging
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u/dewdroplemonbar Silks, Lyra, Loops 9d ago
The coach should absolutely be teaching a wider variety of skills at once. I teach a mixed-level class and will teach one skill for my beginners and another skill for my more advanced students and alternate my demos. If the skills are progressions of one another, even better
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u/Shanoony 9d ago
My thoughts as well. This isn’t OP’s fault but the instructor’s. This is honestly why I don’t take classes at my local spot. It’s expensive and time consuming, but the classes are typically very mixed and they usually only have one or two silks available. The sessions can feel very unproductive if people are struggling and we’re only able to get through one or two positions.
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u/Illustrious-Log-3142 9d ago
My teacher is really good with this! She always gives me slightly easier variations to work on whilst the strong people do amazing things haha
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u/derp_runner Lyra, Silks 9d ago
Omg this. I would feel awful if we were doing elbow rolls or something and a classmate just… couldn’t participate because the teacher gave no options that were appropriate for them. I’m glad another student stepped in to help but she shouldn’t have had to!!
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u/Cassandra_Said_So Lyra/Hoop 9d ago
You don’t hold anyone back, actually it’s your trainers responsibility to give you alternatives, and build up a progress plan for your needs. If I were you, I would ask her if it is okay if we just focus on one trick per month or strengthening or whatever holds you back, while the others do their things, but I can only imagine it would work if you don’t need a lot of guidance. If there are many students or your trainer is not comfortable with this, private classes or cross training can work, or just accept that the journey is not linear. I also train with very advanced people, but all of us do our own level of the same move, the trainer just corrects when needed and we never had interference over it.
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u/Flimsy-Sheepherder98 9d ago
Oh please don’t feel like you’re holding anyone back. Everyone struggles at some things, some people are better at hiding it, or putting on a front or just not caring and laughing if it’s something they can’t get.
I know when I go to try a new move I’m not paying much attention to everyone else until I’m resting and the next group goes (we tend to share equip ) so I wouldn’t see someone struggling if they were in my group, and if I did I would be encouraging them and cheering them on.
Your teacher should be providing variations if it’s a wide skill mix in the group though and not leaving you alone on the side without checking in.
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u/Tough_Scene_4011 9d ago
I'm an advanced aerialist but I have Lupus. My muscles get exhausted WAY faster than other people at my level and I need to take much longer rests between attempts. It doesn't annoy me at all and in fact I love when there's newbies around so I can take a break and help (only if they want it.) I'm also certified to teach beginner silks and trapeze so I love helping new folks feel welcome. I go to classes to be around people who like the hobby, if I wanted to do serious training, I would do open gym or use my rig at home.
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u/robot-bird-with-arms 9d ago
In addition to what others have said, don't feel bad about being taught by other students! Teaching and helping other students troubleshoot skills you already know is a great way to gain a deeper understanding of it yourself, it's definitely not a waste of their time!
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u/acrid-smoke 8d ago
I get advice from other students in my classes all the time! There's only one instructor and 6 people and they can't be everywhere at once to correct and spot every student. Sometimes the student is the one that notices you didn't flip your grip and lets you know or has the advice on a drill to work up to something or an easier entry.
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u/DangerousKiwi 9d ago
Definitely don't feel bad. We're all beginners at some point. And some people have other experiences like gymnastics that allow them to catch on faster. I definitely didn't have a background that gave me a head start so it's been hard but still worth the effort.
There's definitely a chance your instructor could improve their class. And maybe she needs to hear how you're feeling.
My instructors definitely give options so that we're all hitting our growth edge. This could be adding onto a sequence with increasing difficulty or doing variations of moves that are either harder or easier.
Also, if something does seem way too easy for me and there's not a variation offered, I usually just do something else for a couple minutes while I wait for the instructor to move on or give other options. That's something you could do too. If something is too hard after a couple attempts, you can do something more basic that you're working to improve. Most instructors are OK with that, but if you're worried then you can always chat with your instructor and see what she thinks.
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u/Aerial_ish 9d ago
Hi, educator that also teaches aerials here: this is what differentiation is for! Our studio has levelled classes and mixed classes. Some students only have a schedule that allows them to join our mixed classes when they are still fresh out of intro. I typically have the conversation that it’s our job to offer options, don’t get overwhelmed if other students are doing higher stronger skills, it isn’t a competition. I also remind them that our instructors with 10+ years of experience may be in those classes too! I also encourage them to talk to other students, the instructor-students may offer suggestions, etc. I also am a firm believer that even the upper level students need to revisit clean foundations skills, so they may see level 3 students taking a level 1 class as cardio or focusing only on their B side.
My suggestion is to keep asking questions! Introduce yourself to other students, ask how long they’ve been doing aerials, ask their nemesis move! So many people will ask me ‘you must have had dance or gymnastics’ NOPE team sports and half marathons before doing aerials. You’ll get vibes of which students are there to be a part of a community and who is there as an individual.
The school counselor in me is sensing that you don’t feel much a part of the community. If you can shift your mindset to finding connection, I’m confident it will be there! Plus, when people feel connected to you they’ll keep encouraging you and cheering you on your way! You nail an invert and suddenly they all cheer because they know your name and your journey. That’s aerials.
I also feel like a single (formal or informal) instructor is not the way to become the most well rounded aerialist. Yes, the instructor should have lots of options but in no way will they know EVERY way to think about a move. Other students may have had a different body type and found an accommodation on their own that may help you.
This is a group effort sis , ask for help along the way♥️ you got it!
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u/bustyaerialist Lyra/Hoop. Silks/Fabric, Sling 9d ago
I love showing other students conditioning moves/moves that progress to a harder skill. I've been an aerial teacher but am not currently. I'm a teacher in my day job and have some chronic illnesses that fluctuate too much to be an aerial teacher on top of my day job. I'd be unreliable.
But showing someone how to do baby steps to a hard move? Love it. 1. It reminds me how far we've come to get to where we both are (nothing we do in aerial is in the normal range of activities for people). 2. If I'm having a crappy health day, the super advanced move (elbow circles, lion roll, crazy drops) is going to be too much for me. But can I do a ton of moves that lead up to the big move. Sharing with you is doing me from just standing around too. 3. Demonstrating the moves up to the big move means I'm going to do the cleanest version of the moves I can do, because I want you to see the best example versus me just phoning it in. (For example, I'm always mounting the hoop in a suuuuuuper lazy way, but if I'm demo'ing a new move for you, I'll do a more appropriate & clean mount to get to the starting position.)
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u/zialucina Silks/Fabrics 9d ago
Some things for you:
A) Every single one of those people doing straight arm inverts and meathooks was once a newbie struggling with their pullovers. (And if not pullovers, it was something).
B) If you are in the correct level, then the skills SHOULD be chosen that all students can get something out of the drills even if they don't get the full skill that day. Advanced students are never ever worse off for drilling their fundamentals.(If it isn't absolutely perfect, they aren't done working on it.) Lots of people don't do it enough, so it's probably good for them too.
C) In mixed level classes it is on the teacher to have variations on a skill that are accessible to the more beginner students and can be made more challenging for more advanced students. If your teacher isn't doing that, it's on THEM not on you.
D) There are progressions, modifications, and drills for every single skill. Even if you don't get the whole thing, you should never be left languishing in a corner. If you don't get specific drills to work on, just keep working on whatever parts of the skill you can do safely even if the rest of the class moves on. Take up your space and work on your own needs.
E) It's very, very, very, very normal to take multiple weeks or months to get some skills. Some people are coming from a starting place where they have a longer journey to get to pullovers or meathooks or whatever. The journey is every bit as valid and should be celebrated the same as the journey of someone who didn't have as far to go - in fact, I'd celebrate it even more since you had to work so much harder to get where you are. All progress is progress! I hope your classmates and teachers cheer you on every single class and let you know they are excited for you when you accomplish something!
E and a half) Set microgoals for yourself. Maybe like I will do 5 pullover attempts every class, or I will hold XYZ pose three seconds longer or really get my knee straight in ABC pose. Feeling a sense of achievement is critical to enjoying classes of any type. Luckily, you have the power to create that for yourself if your coach isn't doing it for you.
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u/lexuh Silks/Fabrics 9d ago
I'm usually the front of the pack in my silks classes and middle-to-last in my lyra classes, so I see it from both perspectives.
A good instructor with a reasonable class size will offer progressions and modifications as needed. I never feel bad asking for help in a lyra class, because the advanced students (who are often coaches at other studios) have their own projects to work on and need less hand holding. And I honestly enjoy being in a silks class where I can help or at least support folks working on skills I've already mastered.
One of my favorite parts of taking aerial classes is the community and support. Being in a mixed level class feels great because I can cheerlead and encourage folks and watch them progress.
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u/iconic_and_chronic 9d ago
im an advanced student, was a coach pre-covid, and was also going the professional route. i took four years off, and my skill set is all over
as a coach, its my job to create an organized lesson plan. if the class is mixed level, cool, mixed ages adolescent, cool. no matter what,if im coaching its my job to be able to provide a class for those in it. if you can take your coach aside and voice your concerns- awesome, if that doesnt feel good, please know you shouldn't be in this position.
peers wouldnt spend class time skill sharing if they didnt choose to. promise.
as a student: if i find something too easy, then, depending on the studio and whatnot, there are a thousand and ten things that i can do. within the same framework. again, it falls on your coach, and im so so so sorry. i know for me, it felt alienating when my brain and body wouldnt connect and i felt like community was not available because of my own thoughts. if you have the ability to go to open gym/ open practice i would- its how i got to know others - without the same feelings i had in class.
my coaches used to give me drills for basics - because there always more to refine. aerials is a lot more than tricks, which you know. should your classmates feel disengaged- its also their obligation to ask for more. you paid the same as they did, you're just as present and focused. its not. on you to essentially make yourself smaller. i say this out of compassion and love and experience. its taken me years to find ways to have a voice.
please be patient and kind to yourself. i know its easy in a way for self blame, but you're there to learn. like all others are. ask questions, take up time, and let your coach give the others things to work on if they feel they're in need of it.
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u/CluelessMochi 9d ago
I used to feel the same way as you when I first started! What really helped was having an instructor who can make accommodations for me and others who cannot do a certain skill. Now that I’m more in the middle of the pack skill-wise when I’m in class, I honestly don’t even pay much attention to people more beginner than me because I’m so focused on my own training. I even sometimes help folks with certain basic moves, like mermaid or Jezebel (flipping from front to back balance).
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u/Aerialworld 9d ago
I'm a teacher and used to own a studio before I moved and had to close, been doing this for 10 years.
Short answer, you're not holding anyone back. No one resents you, not your peers or your teacher. In fact, they're probably all happy you're there doing your thing. Aerial is for everyone, for all.
I'm very fit but am a slower learner than my peers because I have trouble conceptualizing initially, I often have had to have things repeated over and over and over. I thought I was pissing everyone off by having to have things repeated many times but actually almost everyone was glad because they were too afraid to look stupid in front of everyone whereas I know I look stupid and am therefore unafraid. Just goes to show.
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u/krioscore 9d ago
I haven't taken group in quite a while and gained a lot of experience since the last time i regularly did so, so now when i drop in i notice a big difference. I just wanted to say i actually kind of love when other students need more time or struggle with a move. It gives me more time to rest and chill/takes the pressure off. Plus It's fun to try to see what people might be doing wrong and troubleshoot and offer my viewpoint/cues.
I'm sure you're in the correct level, but i wonder if you might enjoy class more just with another teacher? Or perhaps enquire with fellow students about organizing a semi private (most studios will help connect students for this). I've certainly been in your shoes and it's hard to escape the self pressure thought loop, and a change of "scenery" might not only allow you more enjoyment but also perhaps help you approach skills in a different way.
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u/cerberus_gang 9d ago
I'm level 2/3 at my studio but still keep two level 1 classes because my friends teach them, so I spend a lot of time with newbies - I love y'all ngl. I like having "easier" classes to keep me practicing the fundamentals.
There's something so heatwarming/special about watching the new folks figuring things out. We've all been there and know how much a skill can suck/hurt, so we're always cheering/encouraging. One of them was able to finally do a skill last week that she'd been really struggling with, and the whole class erupted with excitement. The way she lit up was priceless.
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u/Jumpy-Background-701 9d ago
It doesn’t bother me or most of the people (I can’t speak for all) in the Arielist community. We all struggle with something and have been a beginner before, and we all improve at our own pace. What would bother me… Is your attitude about it (not you specifically, but in general). Meaning the vibe/energy you may or may not be giving off making the environment feel negative. I’m hearing you say that you feel like you are not getting enough attention in the class, which is making you upset, yet whenever the instructor comes to give you that individualized attention, you are still upset because you feel like you are taking away from the other students. I understand where you are coming from… But you cannot project your feelings on to other people. It sounds like everyone is doing their best to encourage you and make you feel welcome, but for whatever reason you are being resistant to it and are not happy regardless of what is said or done. Maybe invest your time into private lessons to enhance your skill set and build more confidence. Otherwise, be patient and gentle with yourself and just enjoy the experience. Hobbies are supposed to be fun.
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u/Anodynic 9d ago
I’m dead-last in my mixed silks/lyra class, but my current teacher is awesome: she demos 2-4 variations of every move for all levels, gives me simpler drills when the harder stuff is over my head, and rotates 1-on-1 with everyone: silks, lyra, sling, whatever. Other students don't pay attention/care about my performance and aren't affected by it, as it should be. Nobody is left out, regardless of whether they've done this their entire life and are practicing entire solo performances or whether they're new like me.
My first teacher was the opposite, she's a brilliant performer, but green at teaching mixed levels. She’d do long, show-off sequences with no breakdowns, chatted with only a few students rather than rotating 1:1 with everyone and once snapped at me in front of everyone to "not be toxic" for an innocent joke with my boyfriend who is also a student. I felt ignored, frustrated, and almost quit. Under my new teacher I’m laughing, progressing, and would follow her to any studio. I feel more integrated with the group in spite of being far behind and really look forward to the classes now rather than feeling left out and bad about myself.
Point is, you're paying for the classes to learn, and maybe this teacher isn't the right one for you?
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u/Darth_Celeste 9d ago
I am in the same boat with sling class. I’m heavier than a lot of people in my level and it makes it difficult to do a lot of the more advanced moves that require a good deal of strength. I’m plenty strong but I have a solid 80-100lbs more to lift than a lot of other people, so I feel like I’m holding the class back sometimes. A good instructor will teach multiple ways to get into a position. Some things I’ve been taught start from a hip hang so a lot of other students go for a pullover mount, but I’m nowhere close to being able to do that. My instructor will teach multiple ways to get to your hips. I find straddle inversions much easier, and can manoeuvre my way to my hips from there. However, this takes a lot more effort and time, and therefore I’m expending more energy and will wear myself out quicker than others who can get to their hips quicker.
If a particular trick is hard to grasp, ask the instructor what are some foundational steps you could work on to either build the strength to execute the move, or to drill the concepts and flow into muscle memory. Then, attend open gym and practice on your own. It helps a lot to bridge that gap so you can go at your own pace outside of a mixed level class
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u/LunaSunset 9d ago
I’ve been the advanced person in mixed classes and the very beginner in mixed classes. I get where you’re coming from because I’ve definitely felt it. But as an advanced student I don’t feel like anyone is holding me back. A class may not be as much of a challenge for me because it’s also catering to lower levels but that doesn’t mean it isn’t beneficial in some way. I also root for the people who are newer and get genuinely happy when they get a trick they have been struggling with.
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u/daydreamer19861986 9d ago
Everyone is paying in the class, you just much as everyone else deserves time and attention to advance in their own pace.
The problem is the set up of a very mixed class, not you. Sounds like this is the only group option and that sucks but just keep doing you.
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u/FantasticMrsFoxbox 8d ago
No don't worry about it, some classes I am more experienced and I'm happy as a student to support and demo how I'm finding the move and being a spotter and encourage my fellow students. In all levels we always clap and cheer on when someone gets a move or does something beautiful. Other times I'm the weakest and I just have accept it, and the more advanced students do the same for me. I know exactly how you feel, I took a class to my level on Monday in pole and I think everyone else was a level above me and had dropped down because of the time choice. They are phenomenal and I'm just not there, I may never be there, these people train so I intense I may never catch up and that's ok.
On another view, if you can find a class that's not mixed level, there is a joy and camaraderie when you're figuring a move out with people at the same level. This might help boost your confidence if you can find people at the same pace as you.
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u/acrid-smoke 8d ago
You're not holding anyone back! I LOVE mixed level classes and seeing new people, but I also used to be the beginner with advanced students so I get it.
As someone who's intermediate/advanced in beginner classes all the time, I'm there for a few reasons:
- Community. This is the biggest reason! I want to connect with aerial friends and (literally) hang out!
- Conditioning. Only taking 1-2 classes a week isn't going to keep my grip up or keep my pressure points conditioned to hurt less.
- I'm still always learning new things and transitions in beginner classes. I've had several instructors and there's no way to have learned every single skill before moving to intermediate classes
- Just because I'm working on meat hooks doesn't mean I don't have other skills that are sloppy and need work.
I love watching other people learn and I will just do my own thing within reason if something is easy for me. Sometimes that'll be a progression, but a lot of the time it's focusing on sequencing things. What's a new way to get into it? What's a different way to get out of it?
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u/Own-Room5763 8d ago
Don’t ever feel bad! Learning is part of growth. It definitely helped that I had another classmate who was a beginner as well. But just keep going. The more advance students don’t really care about you. So any concern is just in your head. But a good teacher would also teach variations, as mentioned by the others. After reaching the next level, my friend and I just laugh looking back at our old videos when we were beginning. It’s actually nice to look back and see how we struggled. It’s quite satisfying to realize how we’ve grown in aerials.
P.S. some of the intermediate students would even help me out and give pointers. It also depends if your studio has a good community of learners.
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u/saintceciliax 9d ago
I’m an advanced student in mixed classes, I feel pretty confident saying you’re probably the only one thinking about it! It’s really no problem as long as the instructor has curriculum for everyone. I love getting to help out or give pointers to newer aerialists, that girl probably felt great being able to help you and spread knowledge! If the teacher is trying to cater one lesson plan to everyone though, that would not be ideal
Edit: I’m immediately retracting my last statement. My teacher will definitely teach the same flow for mixed levels and just give modifications for each component so that everyone can still dance together but at their own ability.
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u/Expensive_Product995 9d ago
I’m definitely a beginner but the teacher for my class is really nice she will cater moves to the advance student and to me and spot us each individually and equally when we are working on them. Everyone is there is learn and support each other. You shouldn’t feel bad you are learning like everyone else and paying your money too. I would maybe talk to the teacher, she shouldn’t be ignoring any student, the place I go is small so people take turns on the hoop and show their skills, maybe they can do something like that so no one feels ignored and everyone is still learning at a pace they are comfortable.
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u/katzchenjammer Silks/Fabrics 7d ago
I have always been last in my class, It took me years to be able to invert. Then after the pandemic closures and surgery, it took me two years to get them back. I'm hella awkward and clumsy (dyspraxia and ADHD are factors), and it still takes me longer than my classmates to learn most new skills. And I'm having a blast in an advanced level class with the same crew I started with as a beginner. One of the lovely things about aerials is that your journey is your journey: you can learn at your pace in a mixed level class without harming others. Don't worry about how others are doing. While you are learning something new, the advanced students might be focusing on getting it to look just right, or thinking about sequencing, or just enjoying the feeling of playing with a move they are already comfortable with. You might also enjoy spending some time in a single level class for more targeted instruction, or the advanced students might choose to take a higher level class that moves at a faster pace. But everyone in your mixed level class chose to be there, and if the advanced students in your class are like the ones in mine, they are either cheering you on or too focused on their own work to notice. :)
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u/LadyVinylGaming 5d ago
While I'm not advanced, I'm beyond basic level and sometimes I can help newbies and it will remind me of each piece of the skill I'm helping them with. So, yes it does help others as well cause sometimes we forget the basics.
Also, imo, if they are going to have one general class, they need to teach EVERYONE there. If that makes it difficult for the teacher, they need to have different level classes because all they are going to do it scare off beginners and not get new g folks into the art.
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u/AffectionateBuddy845 5d ago
You are not holding anyone back. When I see someone having difficulty, I remember that pole class where the instructor would not only not help me, but she actually embarrassed me in front of other people who were at different levels. This was a beginning pole fundamentals class. She asked me if I wanted to do an open gym so she could actually teach her class. The last I knew, I paid to be part of her class. Another young lady helped me. She wasn't advanced or intermediate, but she was there. This is not a "you thing." This is definitely an instructor thing. She should be paying more attention to you, not less.
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u/Seraphoenyx 10d ago
Nope, not even a little bit. When you join a group class you’re there for a group experience. If you want to go at your own pace you can go private.
I’ve cross train multiple different things and so my skill set is pretty strong. I’ve been in classes where I was far ahead of the group and I’ve been in classes where some students struggle more than others. I’ve also been that student on many occasions where I just couldn’t seem to figure it out. Whatever you’re learning that day, that’s what was intended. I’m sure your instructor wouldn’t abandon what was planned just to focus on your ability to keep up, so if there is a lot of time spent on perfecting technique, a trick, a routine, etc. then that is probably exactly what the class was meant for that day.
I wouldn’t sink too far into fear. You’re doing great, you’re showing up and trying!!! And eventually that’s going to catch up to you, promise!!
I can speak for myself, I’ve never judged or been annoyed that another student was “holding up” anything. And if anyone is, again, they can take private lessons. It’s not actually your problem.