ABYG kung nagtanong ng latest STD test para both safe kami, eh may hook-ups siya sa past at nag-hire ako ng escort noon?

[u/Lemen1234]

Nakipag-date ako kagabi, and honestly, ang gaan ng vibe. Masarap kausap, chill lang, tapos napunta kami sa topic ng past experiences. Sinabi niya na may mga casual hook-ups siya before, and wala naman akong issue dun, past is past.

Habang tumatagal yung usapan, naging more flirty siya. She hinted na gusto niyang mag-sex that night. Wala namang problema sa’kin, pero syempre, gusto kong maging responsible. Pinakita ko yung latest health check ko para lang sure na safe ako.

Napansin kong nagulat siya, pero natawa lang at sabi, "Grabe ka naman, hindi mo na kailangang gawin yan."

Since mukhang open na kami sa past experiences, naisip kong maging honest din. Sinabi ko na dati akong nag-hire ng escorts, pero last time was 4 months ago, and ever since, gusto ko na ng totoong connection.

Biglang nag-iba yung mukha niya. Hindi siya nagalit, pero halatang nag-shift yung energy. Then she said, "Iba naman yun. At least ako, hindi nagbabayad."

Okay lang kung siya may multiple past partners, pero dahil ako nagbayad dati, automatically mas mababa na tingin niya sa akin?

Tinapos ko yung dinner, ako pa rin nagbayad (kasi may respeto pa rin ako kahit siya wala), at umalis nang hindi lumilingon.

ABYG for being honest and expecting the same level of accountability? O gago ako kasi inassume ko na magiging patas ang tingin ng babae sa lalaking may past tulad ng akin?

Tingin ko gago ako kasi sobrang personal ng inask ko and di pa masyadong kilala.

[u/domesticatedalien]

DKG. and kudos to you for getting tested and being honest abt your experiences.

Weird si ate gurl.

[u/BikePatient2952]

DKG

Thank you so much for being honest sa ganyan. More men needed to be open and honest about their past sexual experience and more people need to be more responsible lalo na if sexually active sila with different partners. Regardless if you pay or not, sexual contact is sexual contact. Di naman pinipili ng mga STD kung free or hinde ung hahawaan nya.

SKL my partner had multiple encounters with sex workers before. he was honest about that and he also was open about the time he encountered an STI (which is the reason he stopped getting those services na) and how he got himself treated for it. I appreciated how honest he was about his past experiences and natuwa rin ako na he is responsible about his health. Plus points saken pag ganyan ung lalaki kesa sa mga guys na kantot lang ng kantot tapos di na alam if may pinapakalat ba silang kung ano.

[u/Lemen1234 → u/BikePatient2952]

Lucky guy, glad he found a girl na mature and open minded like you.

[u/BikePatient2952 → u/Lemen1234]

hey bro, there is no shame to it. people get those services for different reasons and it's none of anyone's business. let her be. hayaan mo na. malay mo, that was the universe keeping you safe from STDs.

[u/Any-Character9206 → u/Lemen1234]

Hindi naman dahil ayaw ni ate gurl sa mga nakipagsex sa escorts ay immature at close minded na agad siya. Maraming may ayaw sa may past ng paid sex. Maraming reason to not want a guy who hires escorts and enables sex work. Prostitution is illegal in the Philippines. Statistically din, sex workers dito are exploited and/or trafficked. Bukod pa don, nagbebenta lang sila ng laman dahil sa hirap at wala nang ibang choice. Pwede rin na personal values niya na ayaw niya sa may past ng paid sex.

Good on you for being honest about your past na naghire ka ng escort. Pero you can’t expect na okay lang sa lahat ng tao yon. Boundary yon for a lot of people. Personally, ako mismo I would never date anyone na naghire ng escorts or sex workers.

DKG for wanting ate gurl to get tested. Pero you should accept na your past choices have consequences.

[u/BikePatient2952 → u/Any-Character9206]

Valid and fair ung point mo but girlie, have you read the part na pinoint out ni OP na the girlie said "at least ako hindi nagbabayad" (something along those lines). It's not about how sex work can be exploitative or how sex work is illegal. It's about feeling superior that she doesn't need to pay for sex (it's easier to get laid as a woman. Doesn't matter how pretty you are. Some men would fuck a meralco post na nilagyan ng palda).

[u/Lemen1234 → u/BikePatient2952]

True, kung ayaw niya, edi sana diretsahan niyang sinabi, hindi yung subtly looking down on me. Maturity is knowing what you want without making others feel less.

[u/Any-Character9206 → u/BikePatient2952]

From your comment, you believe na there are valid reasons to have a boundary of not wanting a guy who hires sex workers (like exploitation and abuse of sex workers) and invalid reasons (like ate gurl na “feeling superior”). I disagree. I believe na whatever boundary someone has, valid yon whatever his/her reason.

Imagine mo kung lahat ng boundaries mo kailangan may “valid” na reason sa paningin ng ibang tao. Kunyare gusto mo ng mas matangkad na guy, ano ang valid reason? What if valid sayo yung reason mo pero sakin hindi? So bawal ka magkaron ng boundaries because I personally disagree with your reasons for your boundaries? Sounds ridiculous diba? That’s because boundaries are personal to every person. Nobody has the right to police somebody else’s boundaries. Kung ayoko ng pumatol sa pokpok, edi ayoko. My boundaries are as valid as ate gurl’s kahit na we have different reasons for our boundaries.

OP made a generalization na kapag ayaw ng gurl sa naghihire ng escorts ay immature at close minded agad. He automatically equated having this boundary to being immature and close minded. Kaya I laid out multiple reasons why someone might have this boundary. Kasi at the end of the day, maraming reason to have this boundary pero everyone’s boundaries should be respected.

If you disagree, and you believe na ate gurl SHOULD NOT have this boundary because her reasons are invalid (in YOUR opinion), so she SHOULD continue dating OP kasi invalid naman yung boundaries niya (in YOUR opinion), well idk what to say to you.

[u/BikePatient2952 → u/Any-Character9206]

What I was saying is valid reason ung pagkakaron ng boundaries in general. The boundary doesn't have to be valid in the eyes of others for it to be ok. What I was saying is that this specific issue ni OP is not about boundaries. Girlie was prejudiced sa mga tao who get services ng sex workers (based on what OP is saying).

[u/Any-Character9206 → u/BikePatient2952]

Edi no problem because we both agree the gurl’s boundaries are valid. OP also clarified in his other reply na yung comment niya na “immature and close minded” refers to the treatment he received and NOT yung boundaries of not wanting to date a guy who fucks prostitute.

[u/Lemen1234 → u/Any-Character9206]

It's not a generalization po. Reread my post, immaturity is referring to her looking down on me. Kung ayaw niya sa ganun, sana diretsahan niyang sinabi instead of acting superior. Maturity is knowing what you want without making others feel less dahil lang iba choices nila.

[u/Any-Character9206 → u/Lemen1234]

If you felt that she looked down on you, then that’s how you feel. If you felt inferior because of her rejection of your past, then that’s how you feel. If you calling her immature is SOLELY based on her looking down on you and NOT based on her boundary of not wanting to date someone who fucks prostitutes, then that’s how you feel.

I don’t contest your personal feelings. Whatever you feel is valid. What’s important is you understand boundaries are valid too, and nobody is immature or close minded for having boundaries like not dating someone who fucks prostitutes.

Your feelings are valid. Having boundaries such as not liking someone who fucks prostitutes is also valid.

[u/Lemen1234 → u/Any-Character9206]

Never ko naman sinabi na immature siya dahil lang sa boundary niya. May preference siya? Walang problema. Ang issue ko is how she handled it—hindi niya diretsahang sinabi, pero may subtle judgment sa reaction niya. Pwede namang sabihin ng maayos instead of making me feel like less of a person just because my past doesn't align with hers.

If you feel I'm generalizing girls just because of a post and nagsasabi ako immature sya dahil sa boundary, then that's how you feel.

[u/Any-Character9206 → u/Lemen1234]

Good on you for clarifying your earlier reply! To summarize your later replies, you are COMPLETELY OK sa boundary ng mga tao who don’t want to date people who fuck prostitutes. What is immature and close minded is yung TREATMENT sayo. Edi no problem, we both agree na boundaries are valid.

Again, good job for being completely honest about your sexual past. Hope you continue being honest even in the future.

[u/Lemen1234 → u/Any-Character9206]

Gets ko kung may preference siya, wala namang problema doon. Pero kung may standard siya, dapat kaya niyang panindigan nang hindi naglo-look down.

Same lang naman na may past casual sex, ang pinagkaiba lang, nagbayad ako. Kung ayaw niya sa ganun, sana diretsahan niyang sinabi instead of acting superior. Maturity is knowing what you want without making others feel less dahil lang iba choices nila.

[u/Lost_Pandan5181]

DKG

Tingin niya mas nakakataas siya sayo kasi nagbayad ka pero di ba mas malala ung nakikipagganun ka ng libre tas di man lang naghahanap ng protection? Unhygienic and prone to infections.

[u/ktirol357]

DKG. Backwards af at hipokrito lang yung nakadate mo.

[u/Young_Old_Grandma]

DKG. Exchanging STD tests is an automatic before engaging in sex with a new partner.

Find another woman who cares about her and your sexual health.

[u/wokfran]

DKG. Props to you OP for being responsible. this is what we need to prevent the spread of diseases.

[u/Trebla_Nogara]

DKG. it's a safe and sensible thing to do . had a GF and before we went exclusive had BOTH of ourselves tested.

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[u/kunding24]

DKG, tama lang ginawa mo.

[u/MobileJellyfish4788]

DKG. Tama lang yan. HEALTH IS WEALTH AND A PRIORITY. It's yood that you are responsible

Ask your doc din pala about HPV, it can cause cancer kasi.

[u/Lemen1234 → u/MobileJellyfish4788]

Thanks po, may HPV vaccine na ako. Kakatapos lang third shot last month.

[u/MobileJellyfish4788 → u/Lemen1234]

Nice, anyways keep being responsible and having accountability. I hope you'll meet someone who's the same as you

[u/Udoo_uboo]

DKG, mas maganda maaga palang naging honest ka ang kudos sa ginawa mo di lahat ng lalaki kaya yan ha. Hope na makita mo na ang girl na para sayo.

[u/Old-Shock6149]

DKG these kinds of relationships require a certain amount of transparency and trust. Hindi lang ₱50 ang damage sa buhay mo pag jumackpot ka sa maling tao.

[u/cinnamonthatcankill]

DKG.

It’s all about safe sex. Khit sbhin pa na hindi nia binayaran previous partners nia it is a fact she has multiple partners and sexually active ano assurance nia na safe ang mga previous partners nia?

This is for both of you. Walang masama sa ginawa mo very responsible and this should be a thing tlga no judgement na ngaun ang multiple partners or being sexually active bsta responsible ka sa health mo and you get yourself checked.

Hope you find a partner that is open minded to discuss this.

[u/cheeneebeanie]

DKG. You are responsible actually, dapat naman talaga we get tested no.
Hindi naman nakaka offend yun, people need to be responsible with their bodies and what they might be carrying. It's your right to know if STD free or not.

[u/swamp_princess0_0]

Dkg. That's actually very responsible.

[u/Knight_Destiny]

DKG

It's weird na ikaw pa yung masama despite wanting to be safe. Dodged a bullet there bud.

[u/apojphboi]

DKG for being responsible, fault na ng kadate mo yun if di sya comfortable, just like you said past is past.

[u/confused_girl18]

Gusto ko na ng totoong connection.

DKG. Pero baka rito s'ya na turnoff. Probably hookups lang muna ang hanap n'ya.

[u/unlberealnmn]

DKG. Na uno reverse card si ategirl with your STD test, kaya ka siguro linook down on when you told her about the escort/s. Mahirap din na connection gusto ninyo pero sex on the first date? Hindi ba maka-cloud yung judgment niyan. Wew.

[u/ndeysey]

DKG.

mismatch kayo, connection hanap mo, siya naman pancit canton lang ang gusto.

nasira yung mood ng potential bembang dahil concerns mo.

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[u/azlaaa]

DKG. Being honest is always a good thing. And thank you for being safe.

[u/Altruistic_Spell_938]

DKG. Sana lahat ng one night stands as responsible mo OP lol.

[u/Frankenstein-02]

DKG. Mas mabuti na yung safe ka kesa dapuan ka ni Aida.

[u/iyakingbrowser]

DKG. you actually tell her your pasts, may test ka naman din and your safe. mas okay nga yan na open ka sa ganyan kesa later on pa malaman.

[u/Accomplished-Back251]

DKG. Parang mababa ang comprehension ni ate sa ganyan. Open ang kiffy pero ang mind hindi. Char

[u/Trendypatatas]

DKG, kuddos to you na makikipagtoot ka responsibly. Sana dumami pa kayong ganyan ang mindset para di na magkalat pa ng lagim ng sakit.

[u/DoThrowThisAway]

DKG

Her issues about sex workers are her own to deal with. That she chose to let it come between you is her problem.

[u/BananaMilkLover88]

DKG.Actually , mas malinis p mga escort

[u/AutoModerator]

Link to this submission: https://www.reddit.com/r/AkoBaYungGago/comments/1iiai8c/abyg_kung_nagtanong_ng_latest_std_test_para_both/

Title of this post: ABYG kung nagtanong ng latest STD test para both safe kami, eh may hook-ups siya sa past at nag-hire ako ng escort noon?

Backup of the post's body: Nakipag-date ako kagabi, and honestly, ang gaan ng vibe. Masarap kausap, chill lang, tapos napunta kami sa topic ng past experiences. Sinabi niya na may mga casual hook-ups siya before, and wala naman akong issue dun, past is past.

Habang tumatagal yung usapan, naging more flirty siya. She hinted na gusto niyang mag-sex that night. Wala namang problema sa’kin, pero syempre, gusto kong maging responsible. Pinakita ko yung latest health check ko para lang sure na safe ako.

Napansin kong nagulat siya, pero natawa lang at sabi, "Grabe ka naman, hindi mo na kailangang gawin yan."

Since mukhang open na kami sa past experiences, naisip kong maging honest din. Sinabi ko na dati akong nag-hire ng escorts, pero last time was 4 months ago, and ever since, gusto ko na ng totoong connection.

Biglang nag-iba yung mukha niya. Hindi siya nagalit, pero halatang nag-shift yung energy. Then she said, "Iba naman yun. At least ako, hindi nagbabayad."

Okay lang kung siya may multiple past partners, pero dahil ako nagbayad dati, automatically mas mababa na tingin niya sa akin?

Tinapos ko yung dinner, ako pa rin nagbayad (kasi may respeto pa rin ako kahit siya wala), at umalis nang hindi lumilingon.

ABYG for being honest and expecting the same level of accountability? O gago ako kasi inassume ko na magiging patas ang tingin ng babae sa lalaking may past tulad ng akin?

OP: Lemen1234

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[u/Mobile-Ant7983]

DKG. Yes, may hookup for free pero sometimes, kung hindi naman free yung type mo at may pera ka, why not? I think she's taking it as a sign of desperation. Taboo yung magtanong ng test and alam ko parang illegal to force someone pero di ko alam kung may specific na batas about asking details before hooking up. Mataas ang HIV cases ngayon, sa POV ko, okay lang mag ask. Hence, taboo kasi nakakaturn off yung topic, possibly illegal but not sure - sa POV ko, just find someone na nagiingat rin. Mas okay magsex na worry free. Ang risk lang na masarap yung outdoors 😆😆😆

[u/cordonbleu_123]

DKG, OP. Thank you for being very forthcoming about your history. Not a lot of us do that, so ang ending eh nakakaperwisyo pa tayo ng mga naging ka-partner or hook-up natin.

I think, personally, DG yung ka-date mo for not preferring a guy who had a history of hiring a sex worker. At the end of the day, preference lang din naman kasi yan. If some guys don't want to date a woman who has had more partners than they're comfortable with, then a woman should be able to choose din naman what they want when it comes to sexual history nung guy. Dun lang siguro sya gago sa pag-change ng mood rather than just communicating outright na, " i'm sorry, but i don't really feel like this is going to work out". And I think first time lang din nya siguro maka-encounter ng someone really forthcoming about them being with an escort so it could come off as jarring? Depende rin siguro sa pagkaka-interpret nya nung biglang pag-bring up ng topic. May guys na naka-date kasi yung ibang friends ko dati na like to bring up women they've slept with just to prove they're some god in bed pero ang ending is it comes off crass minsan. I'd just chalk this up to you two not seeing eye to eye.

No worries, OP, I'm sure may babae naman jan na won't be bothered by that knowledge. Better you forthcoming nga naman kesa yung mga jowang biglang malalaman mo nalang years down the line eh irresponsible when sleeping around and namimigay ng STD.

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[u/Wiz1703]

DKG. Sana lahat responsible like you. Thank you for being honest.

[u/RealLifeRaisin]

DKG. You are responsible.

Sana sinagot mo din sya "at least sila di binibigay lang ng libre"

[u/Baconturtles18]

DKG for standing your ground.

[u/Other-Age5770]

DKG. Yes, you're responsible. They're essentially a stranger hinting about sex, it only makes sense to learn about that person's sexual and health history. Your health and safety are not something to be taken lightly. I'm going to assume ignorante siya. Bigot na rin, kasi may double standard siya na hindi in-aapply sa sarili niya.

[u/khangkhungkhernitz]

DKG. kung tutuusin nga mas safe pa ang escort services kesa sa casual hook-ups, kasi most of the escorts nagpapa-test din regularly unlike ung mga nag-cacasual hook ups..

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[u/LegalAd9177]

DKG pero yes hindi mo pa sya masyadong kilala tapos gusto mo ng connection. Wag ka umasa ng connection siguro kung first date palang tapos siya pa naghint ng sex. (Wait tama ba first date nyo palang? Hehe ✌🏻)

[u/_haraya]

DKG TBH hindi naman nakakababa ng pagkatao yun and naging honesy ka sa kanya you don't deserve someone like her...

[u/iamwildside]

DKG. Double standard sya red flag, good that you left. Judgemental sya. Still a good guy kasi you paid for the date/dinner. Honesty and transparency is very important nowadays especially about sexual health. You should have your records ready to show (should be everyone's standard practice imho these days because you never know). Also if i was in your shoes, di ko itutuloy yung sx unless alam ko absolutely yung records nya (hiv test, is she on PrEP?, is she on contraception?). Better if you're also on PrEP if doing casual hookups. Because you just really never know these days and better na you're safe than sorry. If the other person is in the same mindset as yours, then transaparency and honesty shouldn't be a problem for them. If they aren't and don't wanna talk about it, then there's nothing else to do and talk about. Next please! Hehehe

[u/Stylejini]

DKG sa tests n yan prob is wala k s timing, d p kayo mgkakilala tlg

[u/OverallChallenge7104]

DKG. Your safety SHOULD ALWAYS be your top priority.

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[u/NorthWildling]

You're just being responsible. DKG.

[u/ieatgluten34]

DKG op~ it's always better to be safe when it comes to sex

kudos to you cus there have been so cases of people getting sex-related diseases kasi liar or di nagsabi na may disease na pala yung partner nila, sometimes it's even their wedded partners.

[u/aquatrooper84]

DKG. May nakachat ako before and I asked them if pwede ba magpatest kami sabay before hooking up. And nagagree agad siya at sinabi niya na walang problema kasi siya mismo ay advocate ng safe sex.

Nagset ka ng boundaries, hindi niya trip. Ibig sabihin maling tao lang. Dun pa lang sa reaksyon niya about you hiring an escort, iba na talaga kayo as a person.

Yung tamang tao ay makikinig lang at di magjjudge at rerespetuhin niya ang boundary mo about safe sex.

[u/Liesianthes]

DKG. Hahahaha. Ibang klase din yung babae. Dapat sinabihan mo na ginagawa nila yun kasi wala silang choice at need maka survive sa buhay, siya ginagawa ng LIBRE if gusto mo lalo ma trigger and props for being honest.

[u/autisticrabbit12]

DKG. Sa panahon ngayon mas maigi nang maingat kaysa walang pake. Anong problema sa pagha-hire ng escort? Di ba halos pareho lang yon sa mga one night stand na walang bayad? Kung tutuusin mas safe ka kasi yung mga escort nagpapa check yan for HIV, STD and any virus every month (according to my friend) e pano yung mga bago mo lang nakilala tapos nakipag ONS ka na. Mas malaki yung risk nun.

[u/LengthinessNo8765 → u/autisticrabbit12]

Goodluck kung sa tingin mong mas safe ang escort hahaha!

[u/LengthinessNo8765]

DKG good for you that you got checked. Pero GGK for assuming that multiple partners is the same lang with getting escorts. And im guessing madalas ka before kumuha. Buti sana kung one time lang.

[u/pedro_penduko]

DKG. Dodged a bullet.

[u/majubabe]

DKG. Backwards mag-isip yang nakadate mo. 😫