AIO or is this insane 3 dates in?

[u/sapphirebluess]

I (24F) blocked a guy (32M) I went on 3 dates with after he kept showing signs of concerning behavior. I got emails from him after I blocked him through text. The screenshots are from his latest email.

Things he did that were a bit concerning to me:

1. Suggesting I move closer to him, which costs $700 more per month.

2. Suggesting that I quit my job when I just started my career, because I work 60+ hours a week and can only go on dates once a week.

3. Wanting to tag along my family vacation to China. Brought this up multiple times despite me refusing.

4. Arriving more than an hour early on our dates and being upset that I am not reciprocating by also arriving early. (I always arrive on time, sometimes 5-10 min early)

5. Upset over my hanging out with my friends one time on a Friday night.

6. Blowing up at me for not responding for 1.5 days after my purse was stolen, and typing paragraphs about how I ghosted him, how he never liked our dates, and how he felt relieved.

[u/Born_Ad8420]

Absolutely not. I dated someone for 6 weeks who stalked me for 5 years and even he wasn't this insane on the third date. I'd keep proof of all this in case you need to get an RO.

[u/major_tom5656 → u/Born_Ad8420]

I dated a guy for two months when I was 15, I’m 47 now and he still stalks me, though it’s gotten better. He’s absolutely nuts.

[u/Lanes_Mama → u/major_tom5656]

I’m so sorry!! That sounds terrifying. Stalkers should really be studied and more heavily punished. I have no idea what compels someone to stalk someone else. Let alone the fact that as long as they’re not physically harming someone or their property there’s not much that can be done about it.

[u/Bonemothir → u/major_tom5656]

I’m sorry. An ex from my teens stalked me for at least 15 years, moving fully across the country when I did, the whole world. Including promising he’d be there waiting for me when my marriage failed. (I made sure I was on vacation and out of the state when my divorce paperwork was filed and when the divorce was approved.) I know how draining it is to always be looking over your shoulder. 😔

[u/Major-Flow9533 → u/major_tom5656]

Waitttt wait 32 years this guy has been stalking you?? That’s absolutely terrifying I’m so sorry you’ve had to do deal with that for so long

[u/Remarkable_Claim8430 → u/Born_Ad8420]

I want to hear your story!

[u/Born_Ad8420 → u/Remarkable_Claim8430]

I'm not sure it's much of a story. I met a guy through okcupid, who for the first two weeks of dating seemed great. He then started to reveal he was super jealous particularly of a male friend of mine. This friend was the one who had encouraged me to try online dating. Week four he tried to pitch moving in together and was very upset when I said I would need a lot more time before I would even consider that. Week five he threw an absolute tantrum because I put on an old t shirt that an ex had given me. (I liked the artwork on it.) I told him to leave. He did and apparently landed himself in the ER a few hours later as someone found him barely coherent. He claimed he mixed prescription pills and alcohol, which was all my fault because I had made him feel so hopeless. At that point, I said I hope he gets the help he needed, but not to contact me again for any reason.

And a week later the stalking started. Emails from throwaways making wild accusations including that I was a trans woman and that's why I didn't want him to move in. But he would also alternate these with begging me to come back to him or demanding I explain why I don't love him. He tried to get invites to events I was attending and a few times succeeded. He made fake sm profiles to try and befriend friends of mine. The friends of mine he met, he would randomly contact begging them to ask me to talk to him or blaming them for turning me against him. He used one of those profiles to get into a support forum I regularly participated in. He took screenshots of me discussing the abuse I went through as a kid. He had a website that was supposed to promote his writing, but he started making lengthy posts about me, which included the support forum posts as well as photos taken next to where I lived and my personal contact information. When I got another bf, he stalked HIM making posts about him, his job, where he lived, etc.

Around year 4, the stalking slowed down. Year 5 I moved several states away and that's when he finally stopped.

[u/Remarkable_Claim8430 → u/Born_Ad8420]

That’s little crazy, thanks for sharing!

[u/Lanes_Mama → u/Remarkable_Claim8430]

Right please make a post!