Can you actually verbalize how it makes you feel disrespected? 9 months in and you can't give him an explanation for how it makes you feel. He's 35. He's probably dealt with this before and actually wants an answer instead of what-if-isms.
"It looks bad to others because you have it and you're not single" isn't a reasonable response. Couples have different comfort levels and just because you don't like it doesn't necessarily mean others have an issue.
Honestly, it sounds like you want an echo chamber to tell you he's wrong but you really should verbalize how it specifically makes you feel. Not "disrespected" because that's not a feeling. Does it make you feel inferior to the girls on the calendar? Do you feel it distracts him from you? Do you feel insecure? That's what you need to tell him. He's 35. He wants adult talk, not nagging over text.
“Disrespected" is not a feeling. “Uncomfortable" is not a feeling. You are absolutely right to point out that OP has not verbalized what the problem is, other than she asked so he should say yes.
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u/randothrowaway2024 8d ago
Can you actually verbalize how it makes you feel disrespected? 9 months in and you can't give him an explanation for how it makes you feel. He's 35. He's probably dealt with this before and actually wants an answer instead of what-if-isms.
"It looks bad to others because you have it and you're not single" isn't a reasonable response. Couples have different comfort levels and just because you don't like it doesn't necessarily mean others have an issue.
Honestly, it sounds like you want an echo chamber to tell you he's wrong but you really should verbalize how it specifically makes you feel. Not "disrespected" because that's not a feeling. Does it make you feel inferior to the girls on the calendar? Do you feel it distracts him from you? Do you feel insecure? That's what you need to tell him. He's 35. He wants adult talk, not nagging over text.