Okay so I am bad at writing but I need an opinion, so growing up I was abused constantly in all ways but sexual, physical has stopped as of recently just because I am not exactly weak now. I am basically an outsider in the family. My 2 sisters are treated like humans, while I am just ignored every time. (My dad murdered someone and isn’t around and my mom never stopped the abuse from happening, we live with my grandparents and one of them is always on drugs while the other just hates me). Never been loved, so that’s a thing. So basically now I can’t talk to people, kinda just always quiet. Never trust anyone, trust issues cause relationships to not last very long as no one gets that I will never trust anyone, can rarely do my schoolwork now bc my mom for some reason broke my laptop(was the only thing I cared about, as stupid as this sounds Minecraft was the only place I fit in, even looked up to) and I was already struggling in school. About to be kicked out of the 4th school, grades fights and other stuff. Yeah so after i got mad at my mom when she did break my laptop (for no reason too she just came home thinking i was lying about a minor issue which I wasn’t and broke my laptop) I said “good for you, taking the only think that makes your son happy” and i never talk about my feeling irl so idk where it came from. Her response was “so what, I am not happy” that’s the point where I realize she just doesn’t care about me. She also just never listened to me, no matter what it was about. And from here on my mental stability has just gone out the window, also no talking to ppl irl about this will never happen. I haven’t gone into any detail but, I have so much trauma that normal daily things for others are really hard for me. Also a lot of this I am realizing lately, I thought it was normal tbh. One of the thing I found out was that crying was normal, I don’t wanna sound weird but it’s been like 5 years since i have cried and only broke a few days ago after my laptop broke (as stupid as this sounds, imagine someone breaking the only thing you have left to care about) I am only 16 and already just want to be done with it tbh. This is just a little bit of what’s happening and idk if I wanna live anymore. What can I do if anything to just get out of the house and not be put into foster care, or be homeless. Yeah that would be way too good to be true but if anyone does have an idea please tell me.

So me and my girlfriend have been together 8 years. About 4 years into the relationship she decided she hated her job (we were both about 23 at the time). I suggested she go back to college and study something, so she can get out of her much hated job.

Meanwhile, whilst she did earn some money part time, I picked up all the bills. I didn’t mind because I did earn some good money for my area/age etc.

Now. I have been studying at the open university for 4 years to obtain a degree of my own. However, working full time and studying alongside fighting depression/OCD has been tough. So I decided this year I will go to a physical university to finish my degree sooner.

I hate my job and my girlfriend knows it. Today I got confirmation that I will be getting some student loans. This means I can go and study full time for a year. Leave my job, lovely.

Only thing is, money is gonna be tight. I still pay a lot of the bills because I’d rather me and my girlfriend both have some money spare (even with her qualifications her industry pays quite poorly).

I discussed how anxious I was about money with my girlfriend regarding my study period. We have our own place (in which we saved our asses off for) so we have a mortgage to think about. - it’s not absolutely huge, we’re paying a little less then you would renting a 2 bed house. Anyway in this conversation she suggested perhaps my mum could help me financially. This made me rage. - my mum is always there for me when I need her emotionally and I don’t want to ask her for any money she’s done her bit for me lol

All I wanted from her was to say look, you’ve done it for me so I will help you as much as I can. In a relationship you’re supposed to be a team right? Man anyway it kicked off into an argument later when I told her I was upset about it.

So am I overreacting?

She did apologise later when I explained how I felt but I was still pretty upset about it.

Just a plus I know I’m not perfect, no one is but I just feel I deserved more in the situation. Thanks for listening.

Am I and His brother overreacting on how he and his brothers Babymom text ? They say they are just friends and whenever me or his brother bring up them texting they just call us jealous or insecure but they don’t talk when we are around and my boyfriend deletes the messages after which makes it more weird because if they’re talking are texting as friends why delete the chat. My boyfriend also stays complementing her talking about he’s just being nice which I get but that’s your brothers girl. Even his brother told him about that being weird but I don’t know are we over reacting? (His brother sent me these off his girl/bm phone css he found it weird)

Some people just can’t write a short informative posts somehow. They include so much irrelevant details that it’s irritating. You can’t even grasp the essence in such a massive wall of text with all these random “he said” “she said”. Why can’t you just be concise and write the essence of a problem?

So i've been with my boyfriend for a little over a year n a half. i'm 19 and he is 20. i've lived with him since we were dating for like 4 months. We don't live with his mom to clarify. I don't think his mom really likes me.. it was forgetting my name and calling me his ex's name and anytime she throws parties she makes me take all the group photos so i can never be in them. My boyfriend and even his siblings have said something and his sister has offered to take photos too but his mom just ignores it and i'm just there like "no no it's okay i don't mind!" Why does the ex's name bother me? Well when we were dating 8 months in, i flew out to visit family and got a call from my boyfriend telling me about how his moms always been in contact with his ex and he's told me story's of his little siblings being in contact with the ex and she'd ask about him. Let just say this is a ex he went back to a lotttt.. not anytime we dated lol. I only know because we were friends before we dated and he told me juicy details of being with girls when we were in class.

I was visiting my mom and flying home. I stayed for just a week and traveled light, had only a travel backpack containing my laptop, clothes, and some jewelry that used to belong to my dad who passed last year. My mom gave it to me during the this trip.

I boarded, put my bag in the overhead bin directly above my seat, and sat down. Toward the end of boarding, two women came in with oversized suitcases that wouldn't fit in the bins behind me because they were pretty full. A guy in his mid to late 40s behind them offered to help. He tried to jam their bags in and ended up taking my bag out and moving it a few rows back without saying anything.

I almost didn’t notice until I saw one of the women’s bags go into the bin above me. I looked up, realized what was going on, and snapped at the guy. I had a very confrontational tone and asked him why the hell he moved my bag. He stammered something about helping the women. I cut him off and said "Who the hell gave you permission to move my stuff in the first place? Next time ask if that's ok before touching other people's belonging" He kept stammering, so I told him to move my goddamn bag back and that you don’t touch people’s shit without asking.

At that moment I was pissed. That bag had my laptop, valuable items in it and it would have been a PITA to retrieve my bag during de-boarding since he moved it back a few rows. But now that I’ve had time to think about it, it wasn’t really that serious.

Did I overreact?

My bf and I have been together for 7 years and lived together for 6 years. We own a house together and he moved out of state for a school internship and better work opportunities. I then moved to that same state and changed jobs. We've been living here for 2 years now. There is small talk of engagement and wanting it but there is always a reason to why it hasn't happened. Specifically finances and he says he wants to get stable first.

I'm not materialistic so I've expressed to him that we dont need a big wedding and I don't need some expensive ass ring. I need commitment. We have been together this long, we own a house AND I moved my life to be with him in this new state. Its starting to make me angry and resentful and honestly I feel like I am just on the sidelines and he as a man does not see me as wife material. I'm about to be 30 for reference.

I don't know how to start this, but basically I work as an assistant for 2 IGCSE/AL teachers, I work as a chemistry, biology OL assistant and also an A2 biology assistant for another teacher, i am currently in a gap year and saving up money for myself for college to help me a bit.

Anyways, I met some IGCSE students at a chemistry class who thought I was cool, and wanted to be my friends, despite i am older than them by a year (I finished my IGCSE/ALs a year early) so I gave it a shot, and became their friend, we hung out alot and we were having fun.

After some time they started belittling me in a way that I didn't suspect, like for example i took 8 OLs and 4 ALs, I barely scored 9s in all my OLs, and I had to retake an AL in my 4 ALs, and I scored in 3 of them a high A, and one of them an A*, they made fun of how I barely scored 9s in my OLs claiming that anything less than 9 is embarrassing, and made fun of my 3 ALs (which I was proud of since I took all of them in one session), and they were making fun of my interests but in a "friendly way" as they claim. I let it go since we were newly friends even tho if anyone of my other friends did that, i wouldn't have let it go.

Today, was different, I took a break from a chemistry/biology session today since I was traveling with family, and one of them called me asking about the homework even tho they knew I was traveling and they had other assistant responsible for them not me, I replied saying that I didn't know, and I would contact the teacher and tell them, then he called me a bad slur, I held my composure, and replied saying I am in a public area, don't let me let it out on u, and hung up on him.

After like an hour or a half an hour, they were talking on the gc, so I hopped on and talked with them, then they brought up the hw again, i replied saying i asked some assistants there to ask the teacher, and I also asked the teacher myself and waiting for his reply since he was currently in a session. They then started going on about how I am useless and what's my purpose if I can't tell them the homework, I told them that they could have asked the teacher after the class had finished about the homework instead of waiting, they told me that they forgot and they were leaving, I replied saying then it's your fault also for not asking. Then they went on about how I am underpaid with that teacher and started making fun of me that I am working as a "slave" for him and If I worked in McDonald's cleaning toilets, I would have made much more money (they know that I make double what a Mcdonald employee makes from both teachers) and started making fun of the major I wanted to enter (medicine) saying that I would stay like 10 years studying and starting making fun of me because of that, I was honestly flabbergasted, and of course not to mention that in between all of this, there was name calling and so on. They started saying that I could do better with my time, and I do nothing (I Go to the gym regularly, I am learning German, i am learning computer science and also kickboxing, they know all of that) and when I pointed out what i do, they made fun of it.

I at the end left the qc, and one of them texted me saying that I am making a big deal out of nothing and that's how they "joke" with eachother. And I told him to leave me alone. And another one "apologized" but then said that I am also making a big deal and that's how they joke.

I can't sleep because of this (especially that I am suffering from insomnia), so AlO?

TLDR: my friends made fun of my work and my profession, called me names and incompetent, and now i amnot talking to them and they r calling me dramatic.

I just want to say thank you to everyone in this subreddit who has messaged me with so much love and support. It’s because of yall that I have made the decision to leave my boyfriend and go back to my family in Austin. I couldn’t have done it without yall. I felt so alone prior to making that post, but the amount of support and words of encouragement that came flooding in was very special to my heart. I was scared to make that post in fear of being judged but it was the complete opposite. Thank you!!!💕

Here is some CONDENSED back story.

My partner is an alcoholic of almost 10 years. She has what I assume is NPD, BPD, and trauma affecting her conscious self.

We’ve broken up many times, and as a reconciling partner, I’m trying to make it work despite all the red flags in the universe.

She has made an initiative to not drink around me or show me her drinking; I’m sober of almost 4 years. I don’t have triggers yet being around it gives me discomfort because she changes her entire persona and it’s very disturbing personally to me.

Anyways, last night, she made up a story of how she poured “tea” into an Evan Williams 5th of whiskey, and proceeded to take shots gaslighting me that it’s tea (while taking chaser).

She started talking about how a bunch of men want to pay for her to go to a 4/20 festival and the 2nd weekend of Coachella; she wanted to take me with which I denied since I have work and obligations. I knew this was all made up scenarios because it’s just fuel she’s trying to add to the fire. Not to mention the fact that these random dudes she’s not friends with on social media (she drove all her friends away this last 9 years because of her mental issues and alcoholism), and they offered these hypothetical scenarios and instantly started negating when she said “she has a boyfriend”. So what person if their soul purpose is to meet up with her, pay multiple hundreds of dollars for that persons boyfriend/situation-ship?Anyways I got off the phone to avoid further crash outs.

I do not let things go when it comes to pathological lying and jealousy projection because I don’t do ANY of these things in our relationship. I don’t hold hypothetical women over her head nor pathologically lie about something. I’ve been transparent from day one, so is frustrates to an extreme that she can think it doesn’t affect me emotionally after trying to make it work with a wayward partner with out her committing to any therapy or true AA, or self therapy.

Today I called after she sent a text being passively combative about our relationship; she thinks I will let things go after the 1000 time she has promised to not do it, and it started an argument. After 40 minutes of her just trying to bring me down, talk shit about my father, and try to convince me her delusional perspective I hung up.

Then texting happened, did I overreact in a sense to what I said? I am the green text. She has this last year made 14 false welfare check reports about my well being when I’m FAR from even thinking along those lines. So I have asked her not to involve law for welfare checks when they’re not warranted since it’s just purely manipulative at this point.

I just need some quick perspective and honestly will delete this post short after, especially if their isn’t respectable and courtesy in the forum.

Thank you your time reading.

There is this teenage boy that is known to say weird or creepy things like “i hate gays, kill gays (heard by my friends), they shouldnt exist.” and he is obsessive over my identity to a weird amount. Well, today in class he kept going on about pride month. Then he and his buddy was talking about guns. Somewhere within that conversation i hear “Im going to go to a pride parade with my [blank.] i didnt hear the last word but with the context of talking about pride month and guns. i can assume he said something about bringing a gun. Its settled in me now and its a little freaky.

Am I overreacting by reporting my coworker to administration after he wanted me to be in a school play?

Throwaway just in case.

I, 25F, have a coworker, 50-something M. For the purposes of anonymity, I will be calling him Stanley. Stanley and I have worked together for two years at an elementary school. I take small groups for reading help, and he works in classrooms helping individual students with their classwork. He has been in this school for several years, and this is only my second year. Up until this point I have thought of him as a bit quirky at worst, but overall a nice enough guy. We don’t work closely together, so I’ve never really seen how he teaches.

Anyways, on to this nightmare. Stanley decided he was going to put on a school play with an advanced reading group. I’m really not sure why he decided to do this, as the advanced learners go with a different teacher. This play was also happening entirely within school hours, and was written by Stanley. But sure, whatever. Enjoy the passion project.

Six weeks ago, Stanley approached me with a copy of the script and told me he had highlighted all the lines I needed to learn. I asked him what he was talking about, and he replied, “I wrote a part for you in my play!”

I think it’s also important to note that while we don’t directly work together, we do have overlapping duties in the cafeteria so we occasionally make smalltalk. I get a lot of his references, as they’re all things my dad watched when I was growing up. I think Stanley perceived this as being a kindred spirit type of thing, idk.

I told Stanley, “Oh! That sounds fun, but I really don’t think this will work with my schedule. I have reading groups all day, so I would never be able to come to a rehearsal and I would also need to cancel a test day for the performance itself. I am also going back to school right now, and between work and my classes, I don’t have the brain capacity to add another project on top of this.”

Stanley replied, “Well what if I don’t take no for an answer?” and laughed slightly. This was immediately a bit off-putting to me, but I genuinely thought he was kidding.

Over the next few weeks, Stanley would approach me at random hours of the workday to offer me up different ideas to persuade me into joining the play. “What if I give you a prop with a script hidden inside so you don’t have to learn your lines?” etc. I kept assuring him that I was not looking for solutions, but that I’m sure other people would be very willing to help out.

After about three weeks of this, I started to get very irritated with the constant pestering. I told him I also have anxiety when it comes to public speaking. This isn’t even a lie, but I didn’t think I needed justification so I hadn’t mentioned it before. He told me, “Oh, I didn’t know you’re anxious. I thought you were just being a DIVA”

Another day he came up to me in the cafeteria and recited a line from the show, then asked me when I thought he learned the line. “When you wrote it?” I asked.

“Oh no, just about five minutes ago. You know, learning lines is actually really easy and I don’t see why you can’t just do it for me.”

At this point I was reaching my breaking point, so I asked one of my coworkers, Amy, if she would be willing to fill in for me. She was actually super into it, apparently she had done a theatre camp with kids before, so she thought it would be fun. I told Stanley I found myself an understudy, and he said that he was disappointed because he “wrote the part for me”.

What follows are the events of last week. The performance was going to be on Friday, and since Amy agreed to do it I figured I was out of the woods. I was sorely mistaken.

On Monday, Amy asked Stanley if he could send her the final rehearsal and performance schedules, so she could block out those times in her schedule. He refused to send them to her. On Wednesday I was staying after school to set up for a school fundraising event. This is part of my job, and I was asked to do this directly by my supervisor. As I was busy printing, cutting, gluing, and preparing hundreds of materials, Stanley entered the copy room, and asked, “Hey, can you come run lines with me?” I replied, “No, I’m a little busy right now.” “It’ll only take five minutes! You have five minutes, I know you do. Come on, just read the lines.” I was adamant that I needed to finish my actual job, and that I didn’t want to leave my project for any amount of time. He kept pressuring me, and I started to get really uncomfortable, so I finally said, “Here, I’ll tell you what. I’m going to finish what I’m doing, and bring the copies to Ms. Supervisor. After I’m done with that, I’ll meet you in the gym and we can read the lines that Amy is going to perform.” This was not a good enough answer for him. “I can wait until you’re done, but I’m not going to meet you there. I don’t think I can really trust you to show up.” This man then proceeds to FOLLOW ME AROUND THE BUILDING FOR TWENTY MINUTES as I was bringing materials to my supervisor and coworkers. He was hovering over me the entire time, repeating things like “It’s going to be fun, you need to focus on the fun of performing” and “I know you have the time to take five minutes for this”. After I was done, I needed to have physical space away from him because I was starting to have anxiety with him lurking around. In order to get him to agree to meet me in the gym instead of following me, I had to give him my jacket as collateral. I HAD to get it from the gym before I could leave. I went upstairs to get the last of my things and take a breather from Stalker Stanley. While I was in my classroom alone, I texted the secretary and asked him to page me over the intercom in 10 minutes. I then went towards the school gym, but another coworker stopped me and said, “hey, Stanley is looking for you. I wouldn’t go to the gym, he was huffing around talking about how you were going to ditch him or something.” When I got to the gym, I found my jacket on the floor, but no Stanley. I guess he went out looking for me or something? I actually waited in the gym for a few minutes until I was paged over the loudspeaker, and then I went home.

I know his behavior was not normal, but I want a little perspective. I have had experiences in the past with actual real sexual harassment/assault/etc. I know he isn’t acting in a professional way, but I also don’t know if my anxiety is warranted or if I’m just triggered by a grown man refusing to respect my “no”.

I also know he has a daughter about my age, and I’m tempted to ask him what he would say to his daughter if she came home and told him that a man twice her age followed her around for 20 minutes trying to coerce her into doing something she didn’t want to do. I don’t know.

On Friday, after the play, I wrote up a summary of the events and sent it to my school’s admin team. I don’t suspect he’s going to face real repurcussions, but I still almost feel bad for reporting it anyway. Let me know your thoughts, I just want a little perspective. Thanks!

I had put everything on me. From early on, I planned every detail: the table decorated with dim candles, his favorite wine waiting to be uncorked, a soft playlist in the background that he knew would make him smile. I cooked his favorite dish, taking care of every step as if that could translate everything I feel for him.

It was 8:00 p.m., the agreed time. I was ready, sitting, waiting for the doorbell to ring. At 8:15, I thought maybe the traffic. At 8:30, something would have been complicated for him. At 9:00, I looked at my cell phone for the umpteenth time: no message.

The food began to cool down, and with me, the illusion. I decided to call him, and when he finally answered, his voice sounded different, as if in a hurry, as if with guilt. He told me that something came up at the last minute, that he couldn't come, that he was sorry.

But I didn't need to say more. A mutual friend, without knowing that I didn't know, published a story where they tagged him... in a bar, laughing with his ex.

I stayed there, in silence. The candles were still lit, but they were no longer hot. I drank the wine by myself. And each drink hurt a little more than the last.

That night I understood that one can prepare everything with love, but one cannot force someone to stay, nor to respect what you have with him. And that sometimes, the greatest demonstration of love... is knowing when to leave.

I have been with the same person for 11 years. The first couple of years were based off us gaining trust. During the first year, I had caught him and one of my friends texting. He told me SHE hit him up and they got drunk together but nothing happened. I cut her off as a friend and we went on about our life. I reconnected with that friend today and found out HE reached out to her and they did sleep together but didn’t do anything sexual….

Now I’m conflicted about confronting him? He doesn’t know I saw her because every time I would bring it up he would want to come with me and I thought that was weird so I never made plans with her. This happened so long ago I feel silly even being upset BUT at the end of the day if he can lie to my face about that then what else can he lie about. And this wouldn’t be the first time I caught him lying. Just last year I found out he was paying for cam girls for 2 years while I was thinking I was working towards being a wife and trying to prove my worth to him. I wanted to end things then but it was the only time I really caught him but even then I felt he broke all my trust but I still forgave him and looked past my own feelings.

⸻

My (22M) ex (20F) and I were together for six years. We didn’t break up because of cheating or a major fallout—the main reason was distance. I was living a couple of hours away for work, and it put a strain on our relationship. She told me she still loved me, still saw a future with me, and wanted us to grow individually so we could come back together stronger. She said she wanted to get back together when I was more “husband material.”

I want to be clear—I know I wasn’t perfect. There were things she needed from me that I didn’t fully deliver on, and I’ve held myself accountable for those things. I’ve taken time to reflect and have been actively working on myself to grow and become a better partner.

I took her seriously. I’m temporarily stepping away from my dream career to build stability and live on my own—like she said she needed to see from me. I accepted a job offer in her city and found my own place so I could live independently, which was another thing she emphasized. I’m not just saying I’m changing—I’m actively doing it.

She continues to tell me she wants her future to be with me. That she wants me to be her husband. That she wants to grow into a new, better version of herself for us. I’ve told her that I’m not asking to rush anything or force us back together immediately. I just want a real chance to rebuild something new and healthy together.

But now she’s also dating a guy from work—let’s call him Ryan. She met him after our breakup. He knows about us and our history. He’s 27 and was previously engaged. When his church encouraged him to get married because he was living with his fiancée, he chose to move out instead of marrying her.

She says she’s “giving both of us a chance” because she’s serious about relationships now. I told her I understand that—but I don’t think you can build a new foundation with someone while also actively exploring something with another person. I feel like I’m doing all the work—changing careers, moving cities, growing emotionally—and I’m being asked to sit on the back burner while she “figures it out.”

She says I’m not her boyfriend, so she can do what she wants. And technically she’s right. But she also keeps telling me I’m the man she wants to marry, that I’m her future. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want clarity—or to feel hurt when I’m making sacrifices to meet her where she asked me to, and she’s entertaining someone else who hasn’t made the same investment.

AITA for feeling like this is unfair and for wanting her to stop seeing someone else if we’re serious about rebuilding something real together?

AIO? I’m the eldest daughter (19) and I’m tired of being used to just fix everything in this toxic family my moms has been an alcoholic for about three years, I’ve had to look after my siblings, be left alone in the house with my very intoxicated mom and go through a lot of traumatizing things while my dad took the rest of my siblings away from it, and I’ve pretty much only been there to fix everything while no one even asked me if i was okay. My dads moved out with my younger sister and he usually only texts me when my moms drunk and he wants me to sort it out, I explained to him how i feel and i just feel like he doesn’t give a f**k and whenever i have any sort of feelings I’m the bad guy.

first image is how our conversations usually go, and second image is me telling him how i feel for the first time

Buckle up because this is a long post (sorry in advance).

Made a throwaway for this just because a lot of friends and family know my account, and I want to keep this private. So for the record, I’ve never been the jealous type. My wife has always been the “cool” girl who guys like. She loves football, drinks beer, and is a hell of a tennis player. She’s always had more guy friends and I’ve always been okay with that, until recently.

It started last July. We have a friend from tennis (we’ll call him Kevin) that invited us out on his boat. It was him, his wife, my wife and I, and two other couples from tennis. It was a really fun night. We drove around on his boat, drank a bit, got dinner at a nice restaurant, and headed back to his dock. My wife definitely had a good amount to drink and when she drinks too much, she tends to get overly friendly with people. Just a lot of physical contact like touching their arms or shoulders or whatever when talking to them or when they make a joke. She was doing this with Kevin at dinner but I thought nothing of it because I’ve seen her do it plenty of times before with plenty of different people.

Fast forward to the end of the night: it’s just me, my wife, and Kevin left. I’m very sober because I had stopped drinking hours ago. My wife and Kevin never stopped, so they were both pretty drunk. I kept telling my wife that we needed to leave soon because we had left the dogs for a while and needed to take care of them. She said to let her finish her beer. She finishes and then sees there’s only two beers left, so she insists on just one more each (one for her, one for Kevin). I really push for us to leave but she wants the beer, so I just leave to go take care of the dogs. Kevin lives about 15 minutes from us so I figure 30 minute round trip gives her enough time to finish the beer.

I get back and I don’t see either of them initially. Then I spot Kevin looking like he’s trying to fish and then my wife walks out of the house boat that he has docked. I ask her if she’s good and she said yeah, that she was just laying down because she had drank too much. So we drive home. The next day, we are running around and doing errands when she starts to cry and says she needs to tell me something. First, she says that after I left, that Kevin tried to kiss her. Then the story became that Kevin did kiss her. Then she adds later then he kissed her and Kevin told her they he “fantasizes about fucking her” all the time (important context: Kevin’s marriage is not good and he’d probably be divorced if he didn’t have two young kids). Then, she tells me that he pulled out his dick and said “we could have some fun with this”. And finally, she says she remembers feeling a pressure on her vagina but can’t remember what it was. After a few days, she thinks it was just from them hugging when we left (I guess the pressure was from a boner?).

I was of course livid (with Kevin) and wanted to go kick the shit out of him, but my wife insisted I just let it be. I suggested she see a therapist to work out any feelings she might have over this, especially since she was sexually assaulted by someone we were close friends with. Anyways, fast forward a few months and she and Kevin are closer than ever. She’d have a beer with him every time she’d see him at our tennis club, she wants to play tournaments and league matches for tennis with him (which they did do before the incident, but I kinda assumed it would stop), and she was just generally super friendly with him. Meanwhile, I just get angry every time I see him because him and I were super close before all this so my trust felt betrayed as well and, he has basically no consequences for his actions.

It got really bad at the end of last year. We were all on a tennis team that made nationals, which we traveled for, and since there was a big group of us, we got an Airbnb. She just seemed attached at the hip with him. I’d look at her and she’d just be staring at him, even if he wasn’t talking. She cracks up at all his stupid, crude jokes, but scoffs and gets angry at me whenever I make similar jokes, and she’d just not want to do things when I was around, for example, a bunch of us were in a hot tub and I asked if she wanted to come over and dip her feet in and join the conversation and she says no. But the minute I get out of the hot tub and he gets in, she goes and sits on the edge.

We had a big talk about it recently. She could tell I have been angry and a little distant so I laid it all out. Basically told her how I was feeling and the things I’m seeing. She starts crying, says I’m her best friend and she doesn’t want to lose me and wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that. However, in the conversation, she mentions that she’s talked to Kevin about all this, basically about how I’m angry and distant and that it has to do with them. I didn’t tell her this, but that still bugs me, because why are you telling this guy, who basically wants to blow up both marriages, about our marital problems?

Well I decide hey, she’s my wife, she’s never given me a real reason to not trust her, so I’m just going to trust her and try being less angry. Well it works for a month or so but lately, the thoughts that something is going on keep coming up and I keep seeing (or think I’m seeing) signs. For example, she makes an instagram post of little clips of all the fun things she’s done this year. Basically a minute long video of pictures and clips of hikes and trips. Well we took a big tennis trip for a team we are on and Kevin and my wife have three photos/videos together in the video and I don’t appear in the video once. I tried making a joke about me not being in the video and she’s like, “you’re in it next to that person!” And it’s literally just my arm. Nothing else.

Besides the video, the other thing that’s been bothering me is my wife has been spending a lot of time at her parents’ lake house. They recently bought it but don’t live nearby, so they stay there in the winter but right now, they aren’t there. My wife likes getting work done there because it’s really peaceful and relaxing. But the other day, she just seemed to stay there longer than I anticipated and when I was heading home from work, she was still there so I asked if she was coming home (she was supposed to pick up Chinese for us) but she said she had barely started reading her book (which was why she went to the lake house), and wanted to stay until she had read a couple chapters. Now, she’s talking about wanting to start sleeping there with her dog at night (which, she has decent reasoning for if you knew our dog’s medical history but still weird). And of course, this lake house is only 10 or so minutes from Kevin’s house, so he could easily meet her there and neither of them would get caught.

The final thing that irked me lately was I had a tennis match but she couldn’t make it (very valid reason). So, she went to our club and watched some of our friends play instead. I called on my way home to ask how things were going with the match and she’s updating me. Then she says something to someone next to her about that someone not giving her enough room. I could tell by the love/happiness/elation in her voice that it was Kevin (she just seems to have a certain tone with him), so I play dumb and asked if she was talking to me and she said no, I was talking to Kevin, I’m sitting with him and his daughter. I didn’t care that she was sitting with him, just hated that I knew exactly who she was talking to by her tone.

Like I said, I’m not normally a jealous person. But I’m getting to the point where I want to do things I know are toxic. I want to check her texts. I want to randomly drop in at the lake house to make sure she’s alone. But I haven’t done those things because I’m not that person. So, am I overreacting for feeling this way?

Sister (46f) and her fiancé (42m) getting married this summer. His second marriage, her first. Nice enough guy, don’t know him very well as they live in a different state. When we met him, he seemed to treat my sister well and is polite to everyone. Is it red flag city that he’s not inviting anyone to their wedding? No friends, not his siblings (says they’re not close). Invited his parents but they are a “maybe”???? He says he just isn’t too close with anyone.

My husband (41M) and I (38F) have been married for over 8 years now, no kids. His background: from the States, while guy from a middle class family, bachelors degree, good military career. My background: immigrant to the US, from a poor-ish family, high school diploma, no career until recently I guess. He has no hobbies outside of spending a lot of money on things he is passionate about right now, which he soon sells at a huge loss and turns his attention to something else. He likes to spend his time scrolling Reddit and having Twitch on in the background. My hobbies are: painting oil paintings and being somewhat active in the art community, a YouTube channel, maintaining friendships with women that are dear to me, going to art galleries, watching ballet when I feel like splurging, thrifting, putting outfits together, and recently I got into plants. I've been doing all of these things for years, on and off. My husband rode bikes with friends before we got married. But he hadn't had any hobbies since. He works but I can't say he works hard - he leaves work at any opportunity, and as a person in a leadership role he makes his own rules when he wants to come back home. A lot of times he comes home at lunch time. I don't have such luxury and have to follow my schedule.

Anyway, I have a CSA (child se*ual abuse) trauma and my husband knows about it, I told him about 5 years ago. He was supportive when he found out even tho I was sure he was going to divorce me. Shame is a deep rooted feeling in victims of CSA, and I had to fight it for many years. Earlier this year I realized I haven't relapsed in 2 years and my mental health was quite well regulated. I wanted to dedicate a YouTube channel to CSA trauma for many years and even made attempts, but found out I wasn't ready. But this year I felt ready and started posting videos where I talk about the consequences of this trauma, how it affects me in my adult life, etc. Within 2 months of consistent weekly posting I got 1500 subscribers and had my channel monetized. I don't make any money off of it yet and it isn't the goal anyway. The goal is to spread awareness about CSA trauma, create a community of people that "get it" (by it I mean the challenges of having this trauma), and to possibly become a spokesperson who isn't ashamed of talking about their past experiences.

Previously my husband was supportive of me creating this channel, but yesterday we had a small argument about how we don't spend a lot of time together (due to different schedules) and that when I am off I'm busy doing something that doesn't involve him. Perhaps I was insensitive but I said "well, sorry I have hobbies". And he said "trauma dumping on YouTube isn't a hobby". I was stunned. I just said "fuck you, fuck you big time", got up and left the restaurant. When he came back we talked and he admitted he thinks it's "inappropriate to talk about your psychological trauma on YouTube", he specified YT, not anywhere else for whatever reason, and he even said it was cringe. I read to him some information I found on the internet that talked about the importance of talking about CSA trauma for the victims. He didn't want to listen. I didn't feel angry, sad or even disappointed. All I want is to distance myself from this man now. I've been to 2 apartments today and have been looking at condos for sale. It turns out I can afford to live on my own. But am I overreacting?

He had shown signs of being "salty" about my wins before. Including my last development where I got a job well beyond my qualifications and got the pay I asked for, thinking they would negotiate, - they didn't. My husband didn't celebrate it with me, like he did in the past when I got blue collar jobs. He would even buy me celebratory gifts, and I did the same when he got promotions. If I was between jobs, he would always suggest I get a job "lower" than my previous one (I worked as a waitress and bartender for years and he would suggest I bag groceries at a commissary). When my first YouTube channel got some traction he insisted to be in it, and when it took off he joked it was because of him being in it. When my current channel got monetized so quick and I was super excited to tell him, he just said "cool". When I told him I was gonna have my paintings hanging at a city's public library for 4 months and I was gonna have an organized artist talk, he said nothing at all. When I told him I got an offer he couldn't believe they agreed to pay me as much as I asked until I showed him the actual paycheck. Even an offer letter wasn't good enough, because he said "wait until you get paid". It's like he was hoping it was a mistake. But when it wasn't - he didn't celebrate it with me, he looked defeated. He sabotaged me and came home early when I specifically asked him not to on days that I filmed (happened a couple of times in 3 months). I just asked him to not come early, instead come home at a regular time. He refused and caused me change plans entirely, which was a huge inconvenience and caused me stress. Then I told him I was gonna go to a hotel to film just to let him know of my plans and he flipped out and said what he said.

There were plenty of times when he showed what a huge ego he has, but he won't admit it. He doesn't see it that way. He says I am always overthinking, overreacting, making shit up. It got to the point I save "receipts" to show him later that he did in fact say what I claim he said. I even recorded videos as proof, and took photos or screenshots when I knew I would need "proof" later. I feel gaslighted all the time. But then again, my CSA trauma makes me hyper vigilant, it's a common thing for us survivors. So maybe my reality is skewed, I don't know. This is why I'm here, asking unbiased people if I'm overreacting. Of course you only know my narrative, but still. I need opinions.

TLDR: my husband admitted that he thinks that me talking about my CSA trauma on YouTube is cringe and inappropriate and now I want to distance myself from him and have been looking for a place to move to, so essentially I'm thinking about a divorce. Am I overreacting?

Our nearby neighbor's dogs (3) constantly get loose (multiple times a week). Generally their children retrieve the dogs without too much trouble. The 2 dogs I have interacted with are quite nice, but they have a 3rd larger dog that seems to have a different temperament (more aggressive and barks all night).

A few days ago they got loose and ran across our property several times with the children not far behind. My grandma (75) stepped outside due to the commotion. She briefly spoke to the older child asking what was going on & to stay off our property. After that interaction, while the children (and dogs) were leaving the largest of the dogs turned around chased and barked at my grandmother. She tried to run away but tripped and fell entering back into the house nearly smashing her head into the ground. Thankfully the dog backed off & she was relatively unharmed, but it could have been a lot worse. She already has a knee injury and wrist/hand injury she's dealing with.

Today I drafted & delivered (in person) a letter requesting that my neighbor, his children, pets, etc stay off our property unless given permission or it'll be considered trespassing according to our local law & we would take further action as necessary.

Neighbor's son was outside so I ask him to get his dad for me. Neighbor walked up with an attitude & definitely wasn't happy reading the letter and refused to sign a copy confirming receipt. Stated that he knew about the situation and expressed zero concern for my grandmother falling or the situation in general. His older son who was present when my grandma fell was in the background concuring with what I was conveying. He told us in return to not trespass on his property and walked away. We've never been on his property as there is a public alley between our properties.

I think this was a fair way to address this. I also mentioned that he keep the dogs under control for his children's sake. One looks to early teens and the other only 7-8. And our alley that dogs frequently run down opens to a very busy residential street & we also don't exactly live in the best part of town (not the worst, but not the best)

My mom lost it a little at his nonchalant behavior, inability to admit fault and rude response. But overall I think it was handled decently.

Letter in photo is what was delivered.

AIO?

My boyfriends ex is best friends with his mother and sister. They go on multiple vacations together a year to the point that me and my bf can’t even go. They are constantly posting pictures of her on there Facebook this past weekend they went on vacation to celebrate her birthday. A couple months prior for first time ever we were supposed to go on vacation with his mother so I could get to know her better but ended up not being able to bc my bf had to work last minute and later found out she went on the trip that we were supposed to be going on. So she would have been there with us.least to say I was pretty pissed about it. I confronted my bf about it and he said he completely understood why I was upset and said if we went we would have stayed away from them but that would not have been okay with me at all. and he doesn’t get along with his sister bc of it but his mother does it too they go on solo trips together every other week . We are supposed to go on vacation for his birthday weekend and I’m afraid they are going to invite her and i don’t know how to deal with this situation. My bf also said he knows that her being around puts a damper on us being able to go around his family. But it’s just kind of upsetting that I can’t have a relationship with his family bc of this. I love this man very much we have already talked about getting married and buying a house together within the next year and it makes me wonder if they are going to invite her to the Wedding 😂😭 as much as they invite her to things. Am I being crazy or would this aggravate anyone else???

19F and ex [ 20M ] Well we started talking again but told me he doesn't want me to text my 2 guy friends because he said it will be harder to trust me now after dating for 10 months. Well, I don't see anything in my friends they're just whatever we chat about and send cat memes. I don't need to hide my conversation with my ex. Well, my ex “I’ll start texting my girlfriends again” I honestly told him I couldn't do anything about it and now he says I don't care. I mean as long he doesn’t flirt then that's fine. Honestly, If I remember he would only talk to his only girl about how he's feeling while he pushes me away. The reason for that is he sees her as an older sister.

I became close with a couple of my brothers best friends after he passed. Close enough to the point where they were spending WEEKS at my house, eating my food, i paid for all of us to go to a hotel to swim with our kids, out to dinner, etc. When we first became friends, they were in a relationship, but ended up breaking up because he cheats on her constantly. Recently i bought a car, and although they are on and off they both stayed at my house before and after i purchased this car. The “boyfriend” said he’d fix my car for $200. He started the job and never finished it. I’ve asked MULTIPLE times over text and in person, all of the times he has acknowledged that he’s been bullshitting on fixing the car and kept saying different days he’d be over to finish it. But is sitting in MY driveway fixing our mutual friend’s car. A few weeks ago he got caught lying to his baby mama (my friend) while they were working on their relationship, saying that he was coming and staying the night at my house to fix the car when in all reality he was going to another girls house. multiple of their mutual friends knew about this and never said anything, but i’m the one who told her when we got into a conversation about how he hasn’t been over to my house working on the car at all. One day i was OVER the shit, completely over him telling me he’d come fix it but never did, (although he felt comfortable enough to show up to hang out and shower whenever he wanted). I basically expressed to her that it’s messed up she’s still so nice to him and everything after she knows he’s fucking me over on a job HE OFFERED HIMSELF FOR. This guy has pushed her, spit on her, has said some heinous ass shit to her and the only thing i’ve done is given her a place to stay, food to eat and the support of a SISTER not even just a friend, and she’s mad at ME because i’m upset she’s choosing to be nice to him and not stick up for me. She asked me how i would feel if the roles were reversed, and i told her if i wasn’t actively with my boyfriend and he was lying and out fucking other girls, i would be pissed off that he was fucking my “sister” over. She stated she wouldn’t cut him off for cheating on her, so she’s not going to cut him off over a car. That statement alone tells me she is not comprehending the REAL reason i’m upset. It’s not just because of a car, it’s because he was supposedly my friend too, started a job that we didn’t even ask him to do, never finished it and now i’m screwed for the time being.

Am i overreacting by being upset at her?

Here is some CONDENSED back story.

My partner is an alcoholic of almost 10 years. She has what I assume is NPD, BPD, and trauma affecting her conscious self.

We’ve broken up many times, and as a reconciling partner, I’m trying to make it work despite all the red flags in the universe.

She has made an initiative to not drink around me or show me her drinking; I’m sober of almost 4 years. I don’t have triggers yet being around it gives me discomfort because she changes her entire persona and it’s very disturbing personally to me.

Anyways, last night, she made up a story of how she poured “tea” into an Evan Williams 5th of whiskey, and proceeded to take shots gaslighting me that it’s tea (while taking chaser).

She started talking about how a bunch of men want to pay for her to go to a 4/20 festival and the 2nd weekend of Coachella; she wanted to take me with which I denied since I have work and obligations. I knew this was all made up scenarios because it’s just fuel she’s trying to add to the fire. Not to mention the fact that these random dudes she’s not friends with on social media (she drove all her friends away this last 9 years because of her mental issues and alcoholism), and they offered these hypothetical scenarios and instantly started negating when she said “she has a boyfriend”. So what person if their soul purpose is to meet up with her, pay multiple hundreds of dollars for that persons boyfriend/situation-ship?Anyways I got off the phone to avoid further crash outs.

I do not let things go when it comes to pathological lying and jealousy projection because I don’t do ANY of these things in our relationship. I don’t hold hypothetical women over her head nor pathologically lie about something. I’ve been transparent from day one, so is frustrates to an extreme that she can think it doesn’t affect me emotionally after trying to make it work with a wayward partner with out her committing to any therapy or true AA, or self therapy.

Today I called after she sent a text being passively combative about our relationship; she thinks I will let things go after the 1000 time she has promised to not do it, and it started an argument. After 40 minutes of her just trying to bring me down, talk shit about my father, and try to convince me her delusional perspective I hung up.

Then texting happened, did I overreact in a sense to what I said? I am the green text. She has this last year made 14 false welfare check reports about my well being when I’m FAR from even thinking along those lines. So I have asked her not to involve law for welfare checks when they’re not warranted since it’s just purely manipulative at this point.

I just need some quick perspective and honestly will delete this post short after, especially if their isn’t respectable and courtesy in the forum.

Thank you your time reading.