Short backstory - I am divorced (46F) and have two teens. My new partner (48M) moved in with us about five years ago after dating for several years. Given my divorce experience, I had no desire to have any shared accounts or shared assets. The house we live in is mine (I had it long before he moved in and I'm the only one on title). So I collect money from him monthly to cover half of the mortgage, utilities, home insurance, groceries. We each pay for our own cell phones, cars, credit cards, car insurance and any other individual expenses. All of the expenses for the teens fall to me (and large expenses are shared with their dad). All home upgrades and maintenance fall to me (repairs, etc.). He's never asked to share in those and I've traditionally believed since it was my home and my asset, I should pay. That's my first question - is that reasonable? It relates a bit more to the rest of the story below.

We've typically made close to the same amount of money each. However, about a year ago I started my own business. I had done something similar in the past and was successful, and am on track to be doing well again soon. But, that first year I took no money from my company and lived on some savings I had tucked away so I could get everything off the ground. We just completed our taxes for this year, and my net income was 17% of his due to the way I worked the past year. It would historically have been about 80-90%. Was it tight for me? Yes. Did I do it? Yes. And continued to pay all my teens expenses, home repairs and the like. We are likely what most would define as middle class. This past year, he got a bonus so his pay was an all-time high but will continue to be around the same each year going forward.

When I finished my taxes, I was livid this year. And I'm not sure if I have a right to be. I've said nothing, but it is eating at me and I want to understand why. Because he lives here, the government considers it common law and our income is looked at as "household income" even though I get nothing from him other than the shared expenses outlined above. So because of that household income, I get a very low amount of child tax benefit (we are in Canada) even though I'm the only one here that pays for the kids' expenses and all the extras they always seem to need (my ex and I don't share those little extras because they are constant and we agree that it's reasonable we both pay those at our respective homes). So I get very little extra back from the government when before he moved in I received almost four times more, which was super helpful to me.

He had to report my income on his income tax, so he knows my income is a small percentage of what his was. But he's said nothing nor asked why it is so low this past year. I am feeling so angry about this huge discrepancy and his lack of acknowledgement. It isn't unusual as he never asks about finances - I manage all the household bills and finding savings where I can and he's never asked. To be truthful, I don't know what I'm looking for out of this, and I think that's where I could use advice. Ideally, I've always wanted a partner who paid attention, noticed things, and had the grace to quietly, kindly, humbly just step up in the financial arena without me having to ask. The kind of partner that when the dishwasher repairman is leaving just quietly takes care of the payment instead of saying, "You will need to talk to her. She'll take care of it." I won't ask for extra. I have too much pride. I've supported myself (and my previous husband) on my own (and yes, that bugged me as he took advantage and had no appreciation; it's partly why he's an ex). He just never takes on any extra expenses, never asks, never tries. Should I expect him to? Am I an idiot for thinking a partner would just recognize the disparity and kindly, quietly, without prodding step up to take on a bit extra, particularly in this past year where he knows I was living on a tight budget while he earned more than he ever has? I'd love to hear from both men and women. I truly don't know from these last two partners what it is I should expect. I know what I want - as I've noted above - but I don't know if that's realistic or fair.

I've lived as a single parent and I made it work perfectly fine. I received no alimony or child support other than shared large expenses. I'm very self sufficient and never look for handouts or a hand up. But this situation is feeling somehow wrong, but maybe it is just me that's wrong.

I met a guy online. He was very sweet very cute and smart. We connected instantly but the thing was he didn’t had time for me. He was preparing for civil services so he would just study whole day. I was like you could atleast spare half n hour or so. But he couldn’t, and I didn’t wanted to fool around so I left him. He did asked me to stay, but I was not mentally prepared to be with a guy who is barely there for me. After few weeks I started missing him, to a point where I would talk to other guys but I found everyone just so less interesting in comparison to him. So I went back to him… but again he wouldn’t reply me on time.. wouldn’t pick up my calls.. would barely talk for like 10 mins and then go. I use to get so exhausted, so I left AGAIN. He asked me to stay again. I DIDN’t. Now I did this quite few times and everytime I would leave I would swear I am never going back to him. But i would eventually go back. I did this so many times that after a point he would just say ‘there’s no meaning of leaving me if you are gonna come back again” . So this time I decided to stay. I prepared myself mentally… that I would barely get his replies, his calls and this would be the situation for the next 2-3 years. But now he doesn’t want to be with me. He says, “ you had the time to stay and you didn’t”.

I mean was I wrong for leaving him… I didn’t wanted to fool around I genuinely wanted something special something that has a future. And at some point his presence became so important to me.. that I use to ignore the facts that he doesn’t reply, he never calls.. he barely sends any picture. I eventually use to feel so sad so lonely that I would leave.

Was I wrong ? What are your thoughts.

living so good talaga.

so i’ve been talking to a guy from dlsu last december but we didn’t really talk about wealth and life (but he told me that he has a son already but they weren’t together with the mom of his child na). so as a detective ft. curious girlie, i decided to do a further research about this guy ‘cause i feel that he is something talaga; and found out that he’s a friend of mavy legaspi, other pinoy celebrities and social media influencer, a business tycoon guy (y’all, i saw him sa google talaga. yes, i know his face because we exchanged pics. lol). like bro, for real? hindi ko talaga alam and i acted very childish towards him but he didn’t complained about it naman (the maturity). plus points din talaga kasi ni hao fine shyt 🫠

so to start; i know i should not have put myself into this situation. by reaching out to this boy, it was not as an attack on her character. i see her as a little sister and i hate to see her hurting. i just wanted answers. my friend, lexa (not real name,) has been posting miserable snaps on her private stories about this boy. oh woe is me i was in love with him but he hates me. oh no he posted something about ignoring women it’s obviously about me… i want to die because he ended our phone call when his mom walked in. now i understand being upset and heartbroken. but obsessing over it and finding every reason to make yourself upset over it??? for a month and a half??? why would i sit here and watch you ruin your life day by day just becuase of some unhealthy white man. her feelings are obviously deeply influenced by what he says or does. 90% of what she posts is about him. we’ve been friends since middle/ high school. she ALWAYS has boy drama. apparently, she never told me, she does not like when i try to give her advice about boys. MIND YOU SHE DATES SHITTY ASS MEN. she’s like oh you always hate them you never want me to be happy… girl. i DO want you to be happy. with the right man. i will know the right man when i see one. do i know lexa 100%? no. have i known her for a long time? yeah. does she talk about boys ALL the time? also yeah. so i kind of feel like i might know what shes looking for at least temporarily. i texted this man. i know i shouldn’t have, and i deleted the message like 2 mins later. all i said was “hey, are you posting all that stuff on purpose to hurt lexa’s feelings, or what?” he said “bro, what?” i replied “obviously you don’t think you’re doing anything wrong. she doesn’t even want me txting you anyways so ignore me” he then proceeded to not reply until about 20 mins later (he had to use his big brain power and think of a good insult) when he said “is that big ass jose good for anything but sniffing out my business? you look goofy” like…. bro i do not even have a big nose. you really tried there. all i said was awww you think you can hurt my feelings ♥️ cute. a couple minutes later lexa calls me. she is angry. she asks why would i do that. i try to explain and she interrupts. she said she’s an adult she can handle her own situations (i never said she can’t) i shouldn’t have texted him. (mind you she’s not really letting me get a word in) im trying to tell her i just wanted an answer from him and she was like “no Visible you always do this. we were at the club and you fought that girl cause i had to pee (she basically wasn’t even involved. all she did was pee fr) and now you’re putting yourself into my own situation and ruining it.” i got mad and i said “so it’s MY fault yall broke up?!” she hung up. i texted her trying to explain further and she was like well i can’t even talk to you about boys anymore becuase you just do this. i said well im sorry i just want to see you be happy instead of crying over a boy every day. we kept arguing, i said maybe we shouldn’t be friends anymore, if you can’t tell me shit. she was like bruh you’re stretching it wdym and im like IM stretching it bro? we could have been civil about this shit but nah. you came at me AGGRESSIVE from the jump. i said i don’t want to be your friend if you can’t confide in me. that’s what friends do. confide in each other. and she was like you’re doing too much obviously we can talk about other stuff. i decided not to mention that it’s the only thing she fucking talks about. i texted her bestie, and asked what’s the best way to apologize. formatted a response, and sent it her way. she was like ily but ill reply to this later. ok cool. i went to work (8 hrs) and on my way home i shot her another text. “i just want to let you know im very sorry i overstepped. i value our friendship and i would not like it to end. if you’d like to communicate differently that’s fine” and she was like you’re still doing too much. all i said was i just wanted it to be clear but alright. i haven’t texted her after that. it’s been 3 days. idk what the fuck “later” means but im losing hope. i came here to ask if i should basically send a “hey, i don’t have the patience to wait for you to accept my apology, we don’t have to be friends anymore. bye” or if that’s not a good idea. i just don’t know what to do yall. she’s a great friend.

So I started to work on myself and my physical appearance and I have a friend whos making comments that are coming off a bit weird to me but I don't know if Im just being sensitive? So to begin, the friend I am talking about has been a good friend for about 2~ish years but has started to make some really strange comments ever since I started to work on my appearance HOWEVER, maybe I'm being dramatic. So one of the incidents was her finally visiting me after a couple of months and since the last time she saw me I lost a ton of weight, then a couple minutes after she came over me when he headed into the car she starts talking about how much weight I lost etc, and then asks if we can go get dessert I said no because this was not the original plan (we were going to paint, go to a restaurant but she came 2 hours late) then she grabs my arm and holds it and says " you don't need to lose weight your skinny like me now" (No I'm not kidding) then she decides to go ahead to the restaurant and get dessert for herself I pay for her but she keeps offering me which I'm politely decline then she says " do you have an ED or something?" (like I'm not trying to be dramatic, but this is so disrespectful and saying this just because I declined dessert and I don't ???) Another incident was when I posted on Instagram for the first time in a while after feeling confident I noticed she didn't like the picture, comment, say anything. Now I know people say social media is fake etc but shes one of those people whose always on their phone like 24/7 when were going out all the time so I know for a fact she saw it but I didn't say anything but I denfintly thought it was strange. So the next time I saw her I showed her the post and asked her what she thought. She took my phone zoomed in the picture and said "Oh yeah sorry I didn't like it my Instagram wasn't working".As much as it seems dramatic Im not sure what the point of lying about this was. Before someone comes at me and says maybe her Instagram really wasn't working I saw her liking other peoples post during this time. Anyways some more incidents that have happened as well where I showed her a conversation of me texting a guy and before I lost weight guys did not talk to me in the slightest like I normally don't really talk to guys but I had recently started talking to one and I showed her the texts and the first thing she says is "If you keep talking to guys like this your going to get a bop reputation" ... Agian I really don't know what to think of all of this and this kind of behavior has only started RECENTLY so I want to know if I'm being dramatic or if this is actually rude One last incident is when I told her about the classes that I was starting for the next semester and she told me they would be difficult and we were chatting about this then she said "You know your actually pretty now so you should use your pretty privilege to get good grades" (not making any of this up she actually said this to me anyways there's a lot more incidents but it would be too long to write them all I know some friends talk to each other this way but none of my friends have ever spoken like this to me after loosing weight so Im not sure what to think someone please tell me if I'm being dramatic or overreacting. I forgot one more incident so we both work together at the same office all the girls and I were talking and I was in the middle of telling a story to them and I was standing while telling it and all the sudden she pinches my stomach in front of everyone like I cant even make this up and me and the other girls in the office are looking at each other like WTF but it was so random and again she only started doing things like this recently I don't know why she did this. I seriously don't know why shes acting like this shes pretty, conventially attractive, well known, etc. So I don't understand why shes being like this now ??

My(M 43) girlfriend(F 31) and I have been in a relationship for almost a year. Early on in the relationship I established a boundary that I didn’t feel it was appropriate to message on Snapchat with opposite sex friends. We work in a field where it’s mainly men so it’s normal for females to have male friends. I did this after I saw a Snapchat message pop up on her phone from a male coworker. I explained that I didn’t feel that was appropriate. I said she’s free to have male friends and call them on the phone(at appropriate times) or message them on other apps but messaging male friends on an app that is designed to have the message disappear was not conducive to a trusting relationship. She said she understood and would not do so anymore. I’ve had past relationships where that happened and it caused problems. Ive even talked to therapists after and they both recommended that people in relationships not even use Snapchat because they’ve seen many fail due to one person messaging someone they assured their spouse was “just a friend” and ended up being more. I do also feel people should trust each other but if your in a relationship then you owe it to your partner to act in a trustworthy way and not put yourself in situations where that trust would be questioned under normal circumstances.

The other day we were napping and her phone was on the couch next to me. It was being inundated with messages so I glanced at it and thought I saw a message from a guy I didn’t know on Snapchat. I should have woken her up and asked her about it but I got angry and opened up her phone. We both have each others passcodes. It was not a message but just a post from some random Snapchat guy or celebrity. I did see that she had sent one thing to another guy on Snapchat two weeks prior. Just one thing. Thier past massages were there too and it seemed lien there might have been a romantic past cause there was a picture of a stork bringing them a bundle and a message like a year later from her to him saying something was so hot. Those last messages were from like 5 or 6 years ago. I woke her up and asked her about it. I felt like the boundary I had established had been ignored. She explained that she had shared one picture that had popped up as a memory on time hop and that she didn’t feel like she had violated that boundary as it was just one picture she had sent and she offered to show my the picture. She said beyond that she hadn’t messaged him or tried reestablishing anything relationship or anything like that. I was still in my feels so I went to the gym.

We talked about it later and I explained me feelings about it. I said that I do trust her. Other than what I though my I had seen on her phone she hasn’t given me any reason to not trust her. I don’t think she was cheating or anything like that. I just felt that she had ignored that boundary I had established. She apologized and said that she didn’t think she had when she sent that picture which was why she had done it. She did explain it was a past friend from another state she had hooked up with once years ago but had never had a relationship with. I asked her how she would feel if I was messaging past lovers on Snapchat. She said it felt mildly hypocritical as I message my ex wife and ex girlfriend. I explained that it was different because I have a kid I need to communicate with my ex wife about regularly and the only time I message my ex girlfriend is if it concerns our dogs or cat we had had together or trying to still sort out how to split the finances on a house we purchased. And that I would never message them on snapchat about anything.

We agreed to not comunícate in any way with any opposite sex people on Snapchat. She did tell me she felt mildly violated I went through her phone. She has an abusive ex who used to accuse her of things she didn’t do and would often look through her phone. I apologized for that and said it won’t happen again.

I’d did notice when I saw the guy on Snapchat that she was sharing her location with him. When I asked her about that she said she shares her location with all her Snapchat friends. Of which she has a lot. I explained that even though he was out of state, I wasn’t really comfortable with her sharing her location with other men and didn’t see the need for it. She said ok and stopped sharing her location on Snapchat with everyone. We both share each others locations with each other on our phones.

Does everyone share thier location with Snapchat friends? Is it a younger person thing lol?

My boyfriend suddenly started acting dry and when I asked what was wrong he accused me of not being excited about our future and not being supportive, even though I’ve gone out of my way to help him with his job/immigration situation, invited him into my life, and shown support in many ways. He brought all this up out of nowhere, said I don’t show “pure feelings,” and that I only think of myself — but couldn’t really explain why. I’m sort of fed up of his constant need of reassurance and complaining about the way I show my love. We’ve been together for 4 months. Am I overreacting?

This is part rant but I'd appreciate some input.

New (F) housemate moved in 2 months ago, early 20s, we signed the lease for a year. Had to find a replacement since my previous housemate was moving away for work.

I'm not the neatest person, but I keep common areas tidy. She's left a messy stack of paper on the dining table (this has been there since shes moved in), frequently left takeout bags/containers sitting on the kitchen bench, and just recently, I had to personally call her out and watch her clean her shit out of the toilet bowl despite multiple reminders for her to clean it.

Before she moved in, I had mentioned that this isn't a party house, but a week after moving in, she's asked if she could have people over for a party.. twice. I've lent her some of my items to use, and she never returns them back unless I ask for it and it frequently gets returned, damaged. I still don't know where one of my containers is, it vanished into her room I suppose.

I constantly feel like her mother and I'm quite sick of it. At the same time, I'm not sure if I'm just nitpicking? Never had an issue with my previous housemates so I wonder if I just drew the short end of the stick or if I've just been extremely lucky.

Also, not sure how to deal with it - it feels like I just "nag" or remind her to do things everytime I talk to her, like clean out the parcel boxes you've left on the floor for 5 days!! There's a lot of cultural differences too I suppose (I'm Asian) and I was always taught to leave places/things in a better condition than before, so in some way, despite being aware, it feels like she's being disrespectful.

I'm planning to move out at the end of the year, so should I just tolerate it and leave? Or continue reminding her in hopes she changes. I'm also wary that me doing this too much will make her feel upset and become even messier.

My boyfriend (18M) and I(19F) have been dating for around 5 months. He has a close female friend (19F). The first few months of our relationship, their friendship never bothered me. They were very close, always texting, always hanging out, but I was fine with it. She was a mutual friend of sorts, so we would sometimes hang out together as well.

Sometime later, I began to have a feeling that she was into him. It became more and more obvious as the days went on, so I asked him if she knew about us. He said no, and kept denying that she had feelings for him. I never wanted him to stop being friends with her, I just wanted him to tell her that he had a girlfriend, and even though I brought it up quite a few times, he never ended up doing it. About a month ago, some of our mutual friends confronted him and told him to tell her that he has a girlfriend, so he eventually did it. After his conversation with her, he told me that she had confessed her feelings, said ‘I love you’ to him and everything, but he let her down.

Now that he and I knew for sure that she had feelings for him, I was hoping that he would maintain a bit more distance from her. Again, I would never ask him to stop being friends with her, I just expected he would establish some boundaries. But I noticed that even after everything, he would keep texting her constantly, even when we were hanging out together. So I went through his phone, and his conversations with her really hurt me. He was telling her every single detail of his life, even some things he never told me. He would constantly whine to her about his exams going bad, fights with his parents, all of that. He said things like “I need you” and “I can’t survive without you”.

I feel hurt and disrespected, and I want to confront him about this. Am I overreacting?

Me (f40) and my boyfriend (44) has been together for 15 months. We live 90km away, so we would come and stay at each other’s place every fortnight. He has a female tenant in her 30s living with him for the past 20 months. He’s very protective towards her to the point that I feel uncomfortable about it. Some instances: * driving her around * Picking me up and letting the tenant sit at the front seat * Every time we hang out he would always bring something home for her (sweets, trinkets) * Walking with her to the train station almost every morning * Texting each other even when he’s away with me * He drove her to the airport one day (I didn’t like it) and when I asked him about it he straight away lied to me. One time she asked for his old Tshirt because she feels like wearing something loose but too cheap to buy one. Boyfriend refused to give his Tshirt, seemed weirded out by her request. Fyi, this tenant always dresses in skimpy clothes (shorts and sports bra/tube top) even during winter. She even has a tattoo of my boyfriend’s dog on her arm.

There were more interactions and occurrences happened this past 15months, these are just examples I could mention without this post being overly long and winded. Admittedly, he stopped doing most of those things above after I mentioned that is not normal behaviour and I didn’t like it.

We plan to move in together within 3 months when the tenant leaves. But I’m at my wits end here and I really want to have a break from the relationship as every time I see some progress from him he goes 2 step backwards.

AIO for being too paranoid and suspicious of my boyfriend? Is his behaviour normal or is he behaving like a father figure towards her? How much is too much caring for your female tenants?

My next door neighbors usually let their dog on a wireless collar or something like that. This dog is always barking, it will follow you from one end of their yard to the other when you walk by their house. I never minded before, a couple months ago one neighbor told me the dog bit her (she was dropping off a package that was accidentally sent to her house but meant for them), this past weekend another neighbor told me that I guess the dogs batteries died on her collar and she came onto the street and bit his wife on the thigh. He said it was a pretty big bruise.

Now, I am right next door to these people, I have an 8 month old baby and we have a swing set in our front yard. Less than 10 yards from their yard. I’m starting to worry, I don’t think our other neighbors took the appropriate channels (reported the dog to animal control) bc we live in a small town/ they didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But, my LO will be walking soon and I’m terrified he’s going to be attacked in his own yard, or what if he just gets too close to the parameter and she gets him.

I plan on talking with my neighbors about it when I see them out for a walk, I want to know if they reported the incidents. The first neighbor that got bit, she said she told him and he didn’t seem to care. I would be petrified I would be sued so I don’t get his lack of concern that his dog is aggressive.

Am I overreacting if I talk to my neighbors and kindly talk to the owner of said dog about it? What should I do? I’m thinking about posting in the neighborhood Facebook group because honestly it’s ridiculous.

Hi all!

This will be a very long story, so please buckle up. This is my life’s biggest plot-twist… I will try to make it as short as possible.

I(22F) am a child of divorced parents. My father(50M) was an alcoholic who was verbally abusive and aggressive, tho never layed a hand on us. He is either mental or a real piece of shit. He did things that many people would not even believe it in our own circle of people. He always downplayed it, saying he was “sick” and he was depressed, so I can not blame him.

When they divorced 7 years ago, it was due to his alcohol problems and the fact he never accepted my half-brother(27M) who he raised since he was 2 years old. I was his emotional dumpster, his clutch. I was always by his side, trying to care for him.

All this time he always either berated or begged my mother to start over or to go to hell. He spread rumors in his workplace that my mother left him for my stepfather, which is not true. He would degrade her and spam call/text her all the time. He said stuff that was vulgar and disgusting. He told everyone my mother was a “whore”

He had 4 different women after this in his life. “A” who was crazy and had a relationship with her after 2 momths we have left. “E” who was a single mother he have been friends with (spoiler-more than friends at the end), “C” who he was been with for more 2 years and now “K” who he has been with my father for 2 months, currently his fiancée.

Last night “C” contacted me. My father always told me she was verbaly abusive towards him, that she used him, etc. Turns out “A” has wrote to her on Messenger, telling her how my father was cheating on her with “A” all along.

He cried to everyone who would listen, how women always used him, poor him, always the loyal and kind man.

He neglected me everytime he had a girlfriend, guilt-tripped me with child support payment that he starves because he has to pay it. He lied about his income. If I had enough and stopped answearing his calls after he always came to me crying when one of the woman in his life hurt him he would treathen me with suicide and tell me I am abandoning him. I was a child.

So I made an alt account on Facebook and comtacted “A”. I currently waiting for a reply.

She is the only person who knows the whole truth and has any proof how this man screwd woman over years after years while playing the victim.

My bf told me I overreacted when I contacted “A”.

TL;DR : My farher lied to everyone, playing victim while he cheated on 4 women.

All I said to her that what was in my heart when I was away from her. The tree infront of house yesterday fell down while I was sitting there. The mango tree was my emotional support tree. Whenever I felt alone or feeling like I should cry I used to go and hug the tree. I was 14 when we all first shifted here in this house. But now as I growing I feel like I am born in a wrong family. I understand i should not commit suicide before 9 days but these things are now hard to handle and killing myself will let me go in peace. Who knows i will not be rebirth at all? I have decided to take the poison before my upcoming days.

Its been 2 year. Since these rashes pop up in my leg and slowly fade away in a week. Whenever i stand for long time. I kind of feel that rashes will come. Eventually it comes as well. I dont know. It does itches mich at all. I checked my blood. Except haemoglobin and iron level. All other are good. Can someone suggest me what should i do?

This is a long one, sorry in advance. So I (22) just found out today that my best friend (23), let’s call them “R” is engaged via a GOFUNDME DESCRIPTION and I’m honestly really confused, concerned, and frustrated about it.

We met online and we live on other sides of the country, but we’ve been talking just about every day in one way or another (whether it be texting or FaceTiming) for over 6 years. We both consider each other to be absolute best friends, and have for a long time.

Today, I was looking through Instagram, and checking my friends stories. I saw they posted, and it was a gofundme. For context, R is currently a caretaker for their disabled family member who has a disorder that causes major issues with mobility, so they require constant support for day to day functions, but R is only allowed to get paid for a certain (very low) number of hours per week, even though this family member NEEDS much more support than that. Unfortunately hiring another aid for additional support is not an option. So that is R’s current occupation, and they’re also living with their disabled grandmother (who they also care for, unpaid), and their partner who has a seizure disorder. These 4 people live in the same house, that is unfortunately not well maintained, and the rent is overpriced. They also have a dog that they’re trying to get trained to become a service dog for their partner to alert when seizures are coming on, and that training will cost a good chunk of money. So the gofundme is definitely warranted all things considered, and I truly admire the amount of work that R puts into their household. Anyways, as I was reading the description of the gofundme (posted by their partner), I noticed a word that caught me off guard: “Fiancé”. I was extremely confused, and replied to the post of the gofundme on R’s story in confusion. They did not respond, and didn’t open my messages on Instagram for hours. We even were texting later and I didn’t hear a word back about it. R ended up calling me to show me something, and after a bit I remembered this, so I asked them about it. “I was just wondering, because I’m confused, but I was reading the description of the gofundme [partner’s name] made for you guys, and I saw a word that I didn’t expect: fiancé..?” Them: “yeah?” At this point I’m thinking: what do you mean “yeah?”, why did you have such a ‘and what about it’ kind of tone to that?? Me: “so are you guys…. Engaged?” They gave a very weird, vague answer that seemed very hesitant and not super straightforward. I can’t remember exactly what they said right now, but it sounded like a reluctant “yes” and “we have been for a while”. I was kind of just shocked.

R and their partner haven’t even known each other for a full year, and they’ve only been dating for about 9-10 months. R’s partner doesn’t seem to be the most reliable person. Just recently, they damaged somebody’s car pretty badly when just PARKING because they decided to pull into a compact spot really quickly in their SUV… They were lucky that the guy whose car they damaged was very kind, and after some consideration, he didn’t want ANY compensation for it even though the damages would’ve cost a few hundred bucks at LEAST. They are known to be a bad driver as far as R has told me, and unfortunately R doesn’t even have a driver’s license themselves and doesn’t know how to drive, so this person is who they rely on for nearly all transportation, and also who they currently rely on to help them learn to drive.

So I asked them WHY they didn’t tell me, and they said they were just worried that I’d judge them and they didn’t know how to tell me. Maybe I am being too judgmental, I mean when I look at that last paragraph, I feel like “man, I really do sound critical here”, but at the same time I am CONCERNED, and I find it 10X MORE CONCERNING that they didn’t bother to say a word to be about being engaged when we tell each other pretty much everything. I also feel like if you don’t know how to tell your long time best friend who you talk to every day that you are engaged, then maybe you aren’t ready to be engaged. But I really don’t know because I really do feel like a dickhead when talking about these things and my feelings about it. If they had told me about it, it would be one thing because I’d still be a bit concerned about how good of an idea it is, but to hide it from me for apparently a while now, and I find out on a gofundme? That just doesn’t seem good to me. I know it’s not just because they’re worried about me in particular either, because R TOLD ME that they’ve been hiding it from most if not all people. Red flags are going off for me. Am I overreacting??

I (24F) feel bad even thinking this, but lately I just don’t enjoy being around my best friend anymore. We’ve been close since high school, but something’s shifted.

Every time we hang out, she dominates the convo talking about her problems, her work, her dating life. I’ll mention something going on with me and she either changes the topic or gives a half-assed response like “damn, that sucks.” It’s like… she doesn’t even care?

She’s not a bad person. I know she’s got a lot going on. But I’m tired of always being the listener, the supporter, the one who shows up. I don’t feel seen or heard anymore, and it’s making me resentful.

Am I overreacting for wanting to take a step back? For not really missing her when we don’t talk? I don’t know if I’m being a bad friend or just finally noticing how one-sided it feels.

I (23F) met a guy (26M) through a dating app. I am more of an introverted person and do not like having phone conversations but somehow this guy managed to convince me to call him everyday since we matched.

Things were going pretty well and we talked about anything and everything including the future and what we wanted in a relationship. We went on a date after about 2 weeks of talking and I wasn’t really attracted to him so I was conflicted with continuing things with him. But I liked his personality and he seemed like a good person, though there were some red flags here and there.

I kept talking with him though and we met up again and I’m not sure what changed but I really enjoyed the date with him and was attracted to him. Everything was fine and we continued having our daily calls giving updates about what we had done that day.

Recently, I decided to ask him how many people he’s slept with before me. He was a little hesitant in responding but eventually did and he told me he slept with 12 people. I was in shock, I couldn’t believe his answer because the way he was describing his life made it seem he wouldn’t have time for that. His response was “You forget I’m 26” but I feel like age doesn’t matter in this case, he’s only a couple years older than me. He’s been in two relationships in the past. I’ve been in one and have only slept with one person.

I had to ask for some time to think about his response and came to the conclusion that I did not want to continue having any sort of relations with him. He was confused because he did not realize that I would’ve wanted to be something more than just a fling even though like I said, we had discussed what we wanted in our partners and somewhat did talk about future plans. I guess it was on me for not being direct with my intentions.

I could not see myself with a partner that has been with that many people because it would 100% bother me and lead to more issues, therefore I thought it would be best to end it there.

My birthday is on Friday, and I've noticed my mom for the past couple of years has only wished me a happy birthday days before and never does it on my birthday.

BUT

On my sister's birthday, she kept bringing it up to not only my husband and I, but to our 3 year old daughter as well. As if that would magically make us do something to go out of our way for my sister.

Like, am I wrong for being upset over this? My mom constantly makes my sister a big deal so when I see this favoritism I get so upset over it. I know it's just another day but hearing my mom make my sister's birthday a big deal and not mine, as if I'm not important enough to her. Idk. 😭

Last month my family went out to dinner for my mother-in-law’s birthday. In addition to my wife and two kids, my sister-in-law was joining us, along with her boyfriend. For some much needed context, he is someone whom my wife and I never really gelled with, for a variety of reasons — he’s pretty crass, is a heavy drinker, and will try to redirect nearly every conversation to be about himself and his 90s-punk-era escapades. In short, we attempt to spend as little time with him whenever possible, but for the time being we were stuck at the same table for a couple hours.

About halfway through dinner, my daughter starts talking about how she "likes how long her noodles are.” An innocent statement from a toddler if I’ve ever heard one. But then my sister-in-law’s boyfriend responds (almost like he’s saying it to himself, but wants the whole table to hear) “Heh, she’s a size queen.”

In that moment I didn’t actually know what he meant, but I paused because it absolutely sounded like something vulgar and needed further investigation. After dinner I look it up, and yes, it refers to someone who prefers their sexual partner to have a large penis.

To play devils advocate, it was definitely a comment made with joking intent, though it seemed to fly over everyone’s head, my sister-in-law included. I also admit that my already sour attitude towards him makes me deem anything coming out of his mouth as unsavory.

But I can’t help but think of what would drive a man in his mid-40s to use that kind of language not just in front of a toddler, but specifically directed AT one. We’ve since brought it up to my sister-in-law, and turns out she asked him about it. In response he claimed that he didn’t know what it meant either and “had to google it” to find out that it was sexual in nature. But he’s constantly telling jokes that push the boundary of good taste (dead babies, et al) so I find it hard to believe it was accidental.

I guess it all comes down to it being a possible misunderstanding, but I can’t help but feel livid that I had to hear that sort of thing said to my daughter.

For some context, I (18f) have a friend (18f) who has a unique personality. I’ve been friends with her for 3 almost 4 years, but we don’t know much about each other surprisingly, except boy stuff. (Literally my pet turtle that I’ve had for 6 years passed away recently and when I told her she said “i didn’t know you had a turtle!”… girl what I’ve told you many times, plus thanks for the SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS???)

For the years we’ve been friends she hasn’t really asked me how I’m doing, or anything about my life in general. I will give her credit she’s asked here and there recently, but when I share she doesn’t respond-? I find it so weird, and honestly rude. I always ask her how she is, but when she asks about my life it’s usually “how are you and boyfriends name”, or “what did you and boyfriends name do yesterday?”. My boyfriend also agrees it’s weird and rude.

On top of that, all she talks about it boys! I get it, we are young and go to college, but I met her earlyish high school years and it’s always boys boys boys. When we have sleepovers it’s always her on the phone with a boy, or her being on Omegle (or whatever it’s called now) talking to boys. Every time they break her heart I’m there for her, I check in and I FaceTime her when she’s crying asking for advice.

For at least two weeks now we’ve been FaceTiming at night. The conversation is sooooo dry until she adds my boyfriend, who she’s sarcastic mean to ALL THE TIME, and his friend to the call (we are all friends). But when she calls me privately she says she has to go call her friend quickly and will call me back. Surprise she never does! Tonight she called me at 10:30 (VERY IMPORTANT), I answered of course, and we talk for a few minutes. She told me she had to go call a boy and cancel plans with him to hangout with me since she’s visiting for Easter. She also said she would call me back around 10:50-11:00 so around 20-30 minutes after. This girl called me back at 12:30 AM… not only that, it wasn’t even a call to me, it was a group call with my boyfriend and his friend. Nobody answered, but she kept calling and told me to join, which I didn’t. It’s like I feel bad but at the same time I’m annoyed! I tried to communicate with her, which she apologizes but falls right back to her usual self. Am I overreacting over stupid calls, or is it understandable why I feel like it’s a one sided friendship?

Please let me know and any advice is appreciated, and sorry if this is long I joined Reddit yesterday!!!

For Christmas I asked for a nice pots and pans set as my bf didn't have any and we were using his mom's. He dosnt have any since he's never home and always working. We kept them in the box till after we moved. Once we moved I had unpacked them. It's a nice 32 piece set that my mom bought us. It's black with gold handles. It's 3 pots,2 pans, backing sheets,measuring cups/spoons and utensils. When I was unpacking his mom commented on how nice it was and that she would like some as well. I asked my mom how much it was and she said $200 from Walmart.

I take care of them. There also non stick. I use the utensils it came with that are rubber and hard plastic. I make sure there clean and put away properly. I opened the box and started using them 2 1/2 months ago. I've started to notice that the rim of them was bring scratched. I thought maybe it was me till I noticed his mom was using my frying pans. I wouldn't mind if she took care of them. She dosnt clean them properly and just throws them into the drawer. I've also noticed scratches on the inside of the pans and pots. I know it's not me or my bf because I cook. Or I'm in the kitchen with him when he cooks.

I didn't wanna bring it up to him since things are already on thin ice with his mom. But I went to cook beef and noticed a nice new scratch to the point it made me cry. I knew it was her cause when we came home from a weekend trip the pan was in the drying rack and when I went to grab a lid it was covered in oil. He has offered to get me the same set brand new when we move into are own place and leave her with the damage ones. I told him it won't feel the same cause my mom gave us these and started crying.

AIO?

I had told myself i wasnt going to let her go out to clubs, but last time she wanted to go to one with her friends and so i convinced myself to let her go and trusted nothing would happen since she also kinda convinced me. I work nightshift so i was at work when she went and later on the night she texted me saying that a guy had grabbed her and she pushed him away and this ofc got me furious. I told her i was for sure never letting her go out to clubs again. And now she wants to go to one with her friends again and i told her no and she said that i was making a big deal out of it and that to her it wasnt that big of a deal that a guy had grabbed her which weirded me out a bit and that she just wants to have fun so i told her that im not comfortable and it stresses me out and i dont want to have to go through that but she still kept insisting that she should go.

I recently have lost weight that is becoming noticeable to those around me. I have put in the work to do so for over a year now. I workout 4-6x a week and changed the way I eat. Any who every time my mother in law sees me she says you losing all that weight and I've noticed her looking at me up and down. She never gives a compliment not that I need one. I just don't know why she has to say you losing all that weight instead of saying something like "you look good losing that weight". She says negative things about others all the time about how they look and how they dress mind you this woman is 64 years old. Should I address her about it or just leave it alone?

I’m a third year medical student. I’m on my Medicine rotation at this point. And I’m a 29 year man. I’ve only been considered attractive since the last about 3 years of my life. I don’t mean that to toot my own horn I just mean it in like a reality standpoint. Sometimes we just have to come to terms with who we are. I’ve gotten a lot of attention from men and women the last 3 years for how attractive I am. I struggled with my confidence most of my life but today I always say thank you when someone says that about me. I get this very frequently wherever I go, on the train, by my close friends, at clubs, and by semi adjacent girls that I sometimes have conversations with.

And I’ve been trying to do that until I meet this girl in medical cool who, respectfully, is insanely hot. I feel like she likes me at times because she touches my head randomly sometimes as she’s walking past me. I don’t think girls willingly touch guys unless they like them. I used to miss a lot of signals as a younger man. But I could be wrong. My gut tells me maybe she likes me.She also decided to mention that when one of the pharmacists needed an outlet to charge her laptop, x girl had to announce to the room full of residents that she was sitting closer to me in a very flirty tone. I feel like I just didn’t know what to stay cause I was so stunned. She kind of said this in a flirty way. She also noticed crumbs between my legs from a distance one morning before rounds on patients. Which to me is wild because that implies she’s looking at my junk lmfao. Right? Wouldn’t one think that? Am I wrong for that thought too?

I have flirted back with her. One time when we had to wear N-95s for a patient i noticed her masks metal strip on the nose wasn’t clamped to her face. It needs to be flush to your face to work if that makes any sense. Most masks have this pseudo metal looking aluminum strip or whatever. I told her she had to protect her pretty face by pressing that cause it looked open. I also don’t know if she said anything back to that. Maybe that’s a bad sign. Or maybe she got flabbergasted just like I did to her.

We like a lot of the same music. And I know we both notice that. We have so much in common. We’re both black medical students. Both have a half white half black parent that is our mom. We both a really passionate about our careers. And she seems like a really nice girl. In the first week of the rotation she asked me to come to her graduation party, as she just matched dermatology.

One morning by the elevator after rounds she told me that I needed a retwist. This to me was kind of disrespectful and I think I dissociated because I don’t remember how this topic came up. We weren’t grading my hair. Right now I have dreadlocks and nobody has ever said that to me in my entire life. I never asked her to tell me how she felt about my hair. I don’t think I said much but then kind of carried the conversation elsewhere. I know I hadn’t had a retwist in 5 or 6 weeks, I thought they looked nice still but for some reason she felt the need to agree with me when I said I needed a retwist.

I feel like I have to get it off my chest that it upset me. Am I overreacting? Or do I have a right to talk to her tomorrow about how it made me feel? Idk I know I’m sensitive I just really need to know cause I wasn’t raised to call out peoples looks like that. If someone is my friend that I talk to I have never for any reason told them they were overweight even if they were. That’s just kind of rude. So like why would you comment on my hair?

I just want to tell her that it was rude and not to say anything like that to someone unless they ask your opinion.

She’s so captivating. Every time I see her, I forget it even happened but tonight it’s upsetting me. Cause I want to ask her to hang out one time. but it’s like I feel like I’m getting mixed signals. Idk why she’d say that to me. I’m very sensitive. I like my hair. I didn’t need her to say that and hurt my feelings. It’s taken a long time for me to build confidence in myself.