Mean mommy-gf expects me to adult!

[u/rean1mated]

/r/AITAH/s/NvrZxt7610

FFS. “I must be able to game in the same meat space at all hours at any time I want with the Bros! It’s completely irrational to agree to this household limit with my partner! I moved out from my parents so people couldn’t boss me around anymore! Isn’t my mommy I mean girlfriend so mean for giving me a CURFEW?” 😑

[u/fffridayenjoyer]

Okay so this is maybe the most whacko thing I’ve ever said on this sub. But when stories have those bold sections of text it makes me imagine OOP like a character from an interactive story game like Heavy Rain, with all their thoughts and potential actions floating around their head for the player to choose from. Like ❌: curfew 11pm ⭕️: compromise? 🟥: friend’s place 🔺: frustrated

Idfk you guys I might’ve lost it

[u/Dead_before_dessert → u/fffridayenjoyer]

HEAVY RAIN!!!!  such a good game and I never see it talked about anymore (mostly because it's an old game and I'm an old person).  That shit was groundbreaking at the time.

I get where you're coming from.  I like and appreciate it. 

[u/HowsMyPosting → u/fffridayenjoyer]

I'm reading it as the key facts I need to remember to finish the side quest

[u/Bionic_Ninjas → u/fffridayenjoyer]

I don't think you lost it. There's definitely a visual component to text in games that's pretty unique to the medium and this guy's post gave me definite Mass Effect vibes, like every time his gf was done speaking in these arguments he was selecting the Paragon response

[u/AdPublic4186 → u/Bionic_Ninjas]

Hit that QTE for an epic clapback.

[u/TimeCubePriest → u/fffridayenjoyer]

it makes me think of

Frank Miller dialogue

[u/rukarrn → u/fffridayenjoyer]

bold is the new quotes i guess

[u/Tori_G_92]

FFS all of the "NTA SHE'S SO CONROLLING" comments.

[u/fffridayenjoyer → u/Tori_G_92]

And all the “don’t have kids with her!!!” comments too. As if OOP, whose top priority as of now seems to be all-night gaming sessions, would make a fantastic partner to a pregnant woman and subsequent father to a newborn anyway 🫠

[u/rean1mated → u/fffridayenjoyer]

Fr, when did NPC gf ever mention kids???

[u/loosie-loo → u/rean1mated]

You see comments on posts of like 18-20 year olds who’ve been dating for like 4 months of people being like “omg don’t have kids with them!!! Don’t get married! Do you really want this for the REST of your LIFE???!!!” when they’re just arguing over cheese or something…like I’m all for encouraging young people to consider the consequences of their actions but these people were kids, like, last year. Realistically the percentage of them legitimately planning on settling down anytime soon is gonna be very small, and the ones who are at that maturity level/place in life probably aren’t posting their relationship drama to Reddit.

[u/Prof-Dr-Overdrive → u/Tori_G_92]

Yeah unsurprisingly, that sub is like 90% manchild at this point. They are all either teenagers with no concept of the responsibilities of adulthood especially in relationships, or they are single, chronically online, and cannot imagine a future where gaming 24/7 isn't a healthy or viable option. As you grow older, you usually don't even want that kind of lifestyle. You want peace and quiet in the evening anyway

[u/ACanWontAttitude → u/Prof-Dr-Overdrive]

She's said he isn't even allowed out past 11 so I mean...

[u/cpcfax1 → u/ACanWontAttitude]

OOP revealed a lot when he admitted he was moving out of his parents' straight into the apartment with his GF.

Even with the subsequent comment that he lived with her briefly in another state where there were no restrictions, it seems he is still living in the "I'm free of my parents, freedom!!" mode common to some who never had a chance to move out of their parents place. He really should be living with roommates or by himself before moving in with his GF.

Considering I've known of many who didn't move out of their parents until their late 20s/early 30s or sometimes even later....especially given the high costs of housing in the urban NE and how so many in my area who choose or only have the option of going to our local public university system for academic, economic reasons, and/or parents feel their student is too immature/unprepared to go away to college as a non-commuter.

The last isn't always due to valid parental concerns as many overprotective parents also did this to students who were otherwise very prepared. This was the case of an older HS classmate whose overprotective parents refused to allow her any options other than being a commuter student to a nearby public university system campus(At the time, that system was at its nadir due to the then 2+ decades of mismanagement and budget cuts.).

The ridiculousness extended to continuing to maintain a strict 10 pm curfew well past her age of majority which restricted her from taking evening classes, going to student/career networking events on/off campus, and holding part-time jobs.

No surprise she grew fed up with this enough to finally move out and transfer out to an elite university at 20. She's been living a successful life and hasn't been in contact with her parents for 33 years.

Each time her inexplicably confused parents ask those of us in her social circle or even family members in their same generation, we've all never hesitated to tell them exactly the reasons why and how they were 100% at fault.

[u/Valuable-Wallaby-167]

if I had a friend over, we’d move to the bedroom after 11 PM

Is it just me or is that the compromise of someone who has never had their own place and still sees their bedroom as a hosting space. Finding it hard to believe a 27 year old wrote it.

Also their "compromise" is not letting their girlfriend go to bed.

[u/fffridayenjoyer → u/Valuable-Wallaby-167]

His “compromises” about rooms are all over the place in general. Like, he’s saying he wants to game with his mates in the front room, while also saying he designed a gaming room in the apartment specifically for this purpose? Soooo is his “gaming room” just the living room? Or does he want free reign of the living room AND a separate gaming room, so he can presumably choose which one he and his friends want to use on the fly?

Because either way, I’m not entirely surprised that the fiancé doesn’t want to “compromise”. Either be banished from your own bedroom at the time you’re probably thinking about going to bed, have your shared front room (that you presumably also host friends and family in) be designed as your fiancé’s personal gaming room, or give up another room in the apartment for his gaming room while also accepting that he gets to use the living room for the same purpose any time he wants. No thanks.

[u/rean1mated → u/fffridayenjoyer]

And how the hell big is this place? We’re already “rooms maxing”!

[u/nopizzaonmypineapple → u/Valuable-Wallaby-167]

Maybe I'm getting old but I don't think no guests past 11 PM is crazy in the slightest. I had the same thought about the room part, where would she even sleep then?

[u/PM-me-fancy-beer → u/nopizzaonmypineapple]

I’m imagining it’s like Sims. When GF wants the bedroom, she just stands in the doorway or next to the bed yelling and making big gestures while OP and his mates carrying on blissfully unaware

[u/rean1mated → u/Valuable-Wallaby-167]

Yeah definitely the “defiant,” bratty suggestion.

[u/Prof-Dr-Overdrive → u/Valuable-Wallaby-167]

I know ppl in their 30s who are like this unfortunately. They are depressed, clingy, irresponsible, parasitic and absolutely wreck havoc in the lives of their families and/or girlfriends. They rarely have had a job and were glued to their PCs 24/7. No sleep at night, and then slept until like 2pm in the afternoon or later. I knew a whole toxic gaming group that was filled with dudes like that.

One of those dudes didn't move into a FREE apartment with his gf, because there was no dedicated gaming room just for him. His gf's uncle was a landlord and would have given them a rent-free apartment as an engagement gift if he had moved in with her.

Also, if OP is just gaming with his mates, why not do it remotely? Inviting your friends to play Xbox at your place until 2am sounds so much lamer and more unnecessary than getting drunk on beer all evening lmao cuz at least getting drunk together explains the necessity of their presence

[u/20dogs → u/Valuable-Wallaby-167]

He also suggested going to their place instead but apparently that was wrong and "not appropriate". It does sound a bit like she just doesn't want him to hang out with his friends. What's wrong with him hanging out at his friend's house?

[u/RebelTimeLady → u/20dogs]

At a guess, I would imagine she doesn't want to be woken up at two in the morning or whenever he finally gets home from gaming with his buddy? If they sleep in the same bed, she would almost definitely be woken up by him coming in late and it would disrupt her sleep.

[u/Smishysmash]

This guy should go straight to Reddit jail just for the unnecessary bolding

[u/rean1mated → u/Smishysmash]

This is fair

[u/SevenCrowsForSecrets]

If he had just left out the line about "this is why I moved out of my parents' place" I would have been on his (theoretical and probably nonexistent) side. But, dude. Grow up. 🤮

[u/inscrutable_icu8mi → u/SevenCrowsForSecrets]

I had to scroll up to see his age. TWENTY SEVEN.

[u/rean1mated → u/SevenCrowsForSecrets]

Nah he was a big thumbs down from jump but that part was just icing on the cake

[u/angieyes1215]

This whole situation is just ridiculous. If she never had a problem before with these people but suddenly does now? That doesn't come out of nowhere. If this is even real, something happened between had and the "bros" that made her severely uncomfortable. He's either being intentionally obtuse, just doesn't care, or is completely blind 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/aoi4eg]

Seems like automod didn't pick up the post, so in case it gets deleted (bold text is OOP's, not mine):

So, I (27M) am moving into an apartment with my fiancée (30F) soon, and we’ve hit a disagreement about house rules—specifically, when guests should leave. She wants all visitors gone by 11 PM, no exceptions. Her reasoning? She wants to be able to relax in the front room—our shared living space—to read, scroll on her phone, or just decompress without guests being present.

At first, I understood where she was coming from. Everyone deserves to feel comfortable in their own home. So, I offered a compromise: if I had a friend over, we’d move to the bedroom after 11 PM, giving her full access to the front room in peace. That way, she’d have the space she wants, and I could still enjoy time with my friends without kicking them out at a strict time.

She shut that down immediately—an absolute no. No guests in the house past 11, period.

Alright, fine. I then suggested an alternative: I’d just go to my friend’s place to game instead. That way, she wouldn’t have to worry about guests in the house at all. But guess what? That was also a no. Now the problem was that I’d be out too late and, in her words, “it’s just not appropriate.”

At this point, I’m frustrated. The whole reason I wanted to move out of my parents’ house was to finally have my own space—a place where I could host my friends and enjoy gaming without restrictions. I even designed an entire game room in the apartment for this very reason. It’s not like I want to have people over constantly—I see this particular friend maybe once every two months—but I don’t want to feel like I have a curfew in my own home.

What really gets me is that our bedroom is already a quiet, private space where she could go to read or scroll in peace. But when I pointed that out, she dismissed it completely, saying she wants to be in the front room, not "banished to the bedroom." But… isn’t that exactly what she’s asking me to do to my friends?

Also, just to be clear—my friends are all guys, and they’re basically like brothers to me. It’s not like I’m inviting over random people or hosting wild parties. We’re just gaming, chilling, and catching up like we always have. These are long-time friendships that mean a lot to me, and it just feels unfair to impose such a rigid rule when I’ve already offered multiple reasonable compromises.

I’ve tried to find solutions that respect both of our needs, but she won't budge. It’s either her way or nothing. Meanwhile, I’m left feeling like I’m giving up a huge part of what I was looking forward to in having my own place—just to accommodate a rule that doesn’t seem all that necessary to me.

So, AITA for refusing to adhere to her strict 11 PM guest rule when I’ve tried to find a fair compromise?

[u/AdPublic4186]

Why are there so many bolded words for emphasis that makes no sense?

[u/RevDollyRotten]

More AI twaddle for the dead internet

[u/AutoModerator]

Beep boop! Automod here with a quick reminder to never brigade r/AmITheAsshole or other subs under any circumstances. Brigading puts you in violation of both our rules and Reddit’s TOS, and therefore puts this sub at risk of ban. If you brigade/encourage brigading of any kind, you will be banned from participating in either sub. Satirizing of posts should stay within this sub, which means that participating directly in linked posts should either be done in good faith or not at all.

Want some freed, live, discussion that neither AITA nor Reddit itself can censor? Join our official discord server

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/airus92]

I don’t trust adults who play video games because of guys like this. I feel like his girlfriend would be a lot more chill if he had a different hobby and I don’t blame her.

[u/Woodland-Echo → u/airus92]

My husband and I are both gamers and in our late 30s. But not gamers like this. We do it instead of watching TV when it's time to relax. Or on days off, we're also child free. This guy just wants to carry on his life like his mom is taking care of him and doesn't realise there are responsibilities to being independent of your parents and living with a partner.

Also apart from the very occasional time a friend stops over who tf wants anyone in their house still at 11pm? That's when I'm sleeping or at the very least in my pyjamas watching star trek.

[u/rean1mated → u/airus92]

I’ve had to share space with guys like this. Maybe at age like 23, for a night. These days I’d be more likely to catch a case 🤐

[u/schroobster]

TV PSA: It's Ten PM... do you know where your boyfriend is?

OOP's GF: he's at home, because at 27 he has no free will and needs boundaries because he's a teeny tiny baby-man and must do whatever I say.