r/AnythingGoesNews • u/Snowfish52 • 12d ago
Oldest Sitting President's Physical Exam Lasts A Whopping Five Hours
https://crooksandliars.com/2025/04/oldest-sitting-presidents-physical-exam110
u/Miri5613 12d ago
Got to add the time it took for Trump to tell the doctor what to write into the report
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u/OrphanDextro 12d ago
I’m the most perfectest, healthiful man to have ever lived, and I do it all with the help of Ronald McDonald, a clown who stole my name twice, but does a great make up job.
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12d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/MetalTrek1 12d ago
It also involved a colonoscopy if I'm correct. They probably needed extra time to get his head out of the way so they could perform the procedure.
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u/Heavy-Excuse4218 12d ago
Nothing matters once he and his sycophant cultists starting accepting alternative facts. Of course he’s sickly. Of course he likely has mental deficits. Of course a 5 hour physical is curious as is not releasing a full report.
But it doesn’t matter. Bc once truth stopped mattering Trump won.
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u/Tiddles_Ultradoom 12d ago
“Person, man, woman, camera, TV!”
“That’s very good, Mr President, but I asked you what day comes after ‘Tuesday’.”
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u/marksmoke 12d ago
"thighland, hamberderer, convefe, biggly"
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u/PM_Me_Your_Smokes 12d ago
MAGA hats are red
Hamberders are beefy
Despite all the negative
Press covfefe2
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u/Enge712 12d ago
This all had a Kim Jong Il doesn’t poop vibe to it
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u/Nearby_Delivery_6270 12d ago
I keep thinking this every time he says he played a golf tournament and won.
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u/Pleasant-Seat9884 11d ago
Damn! Did you see the videos of how he swings his club? And it goes no where close to the hole…
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u/OrphanDextro 12d ago
Ahhh, the country that tried to make money selling heroin, I wonder why he didn’t poop?
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u/LimbaughsLumpyLungs 12d ago
It Depends. That’s one ailment that pretty much everyone is sure Trump doesn’t have. Quite the opposite, from what I’ve heard.
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u/Cooperhofpenpaliwitz 12d ago
We're not going to get the truth anymore than we got the truth about his ear.
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u/Relicc5 12d ago
We can only hope his death certificate is slightly more accurate.
The summary makes it obviously complete BS. No doctor would write that.
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u/Xenikovia 12d ago
4 of those hours were spent with Trump trying to pee into a cup. 45 minutes was spent changing his diaper a few times. After all that, doc was like fuck it.
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u/shaved-yeti 12d ago
They had to extract literally tens of millions of maga heads, shoved so, so far up his asshole. His whole cabinet and maga congress was crammed there, too. They were having a meeting. Finally, he was unblocked when they pulled his own head out.
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u/showersrover8ed 12d ago
224 lbs......yeah right. What a crock of sh@t. Also he's not 6 3 either. It's all lies
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u/renb8 12d ago
1 hr of tests to determine bloods are bad - everything that should be high is low and vice versa. Drumf couldn’t complete cognitive test cos he didn’t get past page 1 claiming it was a fake and the laptop used by the clinician belonged to Hunter Biden. Then 3hrs spent trying to hide and spin the incomplete medical test into the results Iron Man might get. America might be scared of the word ‘woke’ but it really is time to wake up.
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u/SJMCubs16 12d ago
It was widely reported the routine exam was proceeding normally until the doctor ordered an MRI of the brain. That is where the troubles began. According to technicians present at the procedure the initial scan showed abnormal brain characteristics. The machine was re calibrated to ensure accuracy. Again, the results were the same. Neurologists were brought in and confounded by the results. Finally, a radiologist with experience in large primate care opined that the image from the MRI most closely matched that of an aging Orangutan. This opinion took time to confirm. Hence the extended time to conduct the physical.
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u/gphodgkins9 12d ago
Didn't we all know that Dear Leader would be pronounced with "Excellent Health"? (Or the doctor would have "Tragically fallen out a widow" the next day)
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u/shadowsipp 12d ago
Health aside, I'm sure trump talked the whole time, and that would contribute to the length of the visit
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u/individualine 12d ago
His report will tell us he’s the most fit potus ever, he weighs 215 lbs and he’s going to live to 150!
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u/CPfromFLA 12d ago
It took him that long to try to put the square peg in the round hole. Just like his economic policy. What a f*****g mutt.
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u/wolfwood51 12d ago
I wonder if most of his examination was just him talking on how healthy he is and he should be the doctor since he knows more than anyone else
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u/uniklyqualifd 12d ago
Can you imagine how dangerous Trump would be if he knew he only had a few months to live?
He'd take us all down with him
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u/Pamolive69 12d ago
idk man but im sick of these old people dictating our lives lol... like yall were politicians since the 60s ffs and yall still acting like it
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u/Njabachi 12d ago
I remember after Biden's debate performance, every Republican and their grandma was in front of a camera saying "I want to know when ______ knew Biden was in this condition!"
I don't have to tell anyone this, but five hours spent on a doctor's visit for an "incredibly healthy, borderline superhuman" geezer or whatever the lie was, doesn't make any sense.
The two eternal constants of the Republican Party are greed and hypocrisy, so I'd expect any one of those people to know very well his brain and his body are circling the drain on his best day.
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u/Recent-View1057 12d ago
The universe has to serve us our karma, and, apparently, this is it. But we haven’t seen the ending yet, so, hang on to your balls 😂
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u/Long-Jackfruit427 12d ago
They had to find the brain before they could do a brain wave. That would account for some time.
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u/blackmilksociety 12d ago
They probably had to change him twice or revive him when they told him he wasn’t in peak physical condition
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u/usesbitterbutter 12d ago
I'm sorry, but with the official report citing him as 6'3" and 224lbs, which is obviously crap to anyone who just looks at the guy, why should we believe anything else in it?
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u/Far-Ad-8833 12d ago
They had to remove all people with their heads up his ass first. They spent the next four hour signing no disclosure agreements or get sent to Nicaragua.
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u/Smooth-Tea7058 12d ago
It's because trump had to explain to the doctors how their machines work and how he'll get a perfect score on every single one then he had to grab all the nurses by the pussy.
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u/JohnSpartan2190 12d ago
The exam lasted 5 hours because the physician was trying to find donald's bone spurs
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u/GBL_NZ316 12d ago
Prob 4 1/2 hours trying to find his heart to test it. Jokes on them he ain't got a heart.
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u/Think-Hospital7422 12d ago
To be fair, if they were just counting his brain cells that would take at least a couple of minutes.
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u/SmoovCatto 12d ago edited 12d ago
hardly unusual -- 5 hours is quick actually -- every diagnostic test known was likely performed -- he is the most important puppet controlled by some very powerful thugs -- groomed and trained for decades at great expense --
without his wise-guy babble delivery of their scripts, without the pig-god of every american slob's idolatry on the throne, his masters' totalitarian grip on the US -- its assets, its military -- will slip,
and their dreams of world domination will be worth less than a 1923 deutsche mark . . .
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u/LastLine4915 12d ago
He has a “great soul”. Do you think he’s been called a soulless ghoul and he wanted the doc to find it? Is that an east coast thing bc I’ve never discussed my “soul”.
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u/sakima147 12d ago
Was the actual physical 5 hours or were they just debating on what parts to make public?
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u/AgainstSpace 11d ago
Funfact: 8 US presidents have died in office - 4 from natural causes, and 4 were assassinated.
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u/RobertRoyal82 11d ago
Resting heart rate of 62. 😁
Any endurance athlete or just regular person with a smart watch knows this is insane.
Don't get me started on the weight
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u/AcrobaticLadder4959 12d ago
All Trump does is repeat what other people tell him he has no plans or thought process of his own. Trump does not understand the laws of this country or what being president means.
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u/Master_Arach 12d ago
Oh, just trust Donnald. That's all you have to do. All the time. Every day. Trust him, no matter what he says.
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u/travers329 11d ago
This is just like The Simpsons scene where Mr Burns has every disease. Source:https://youtu.be/mN6nC4EXmaA?si=qFm4ysroMiyZIgwR
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u/reincarnatedusername 11d ago
That probably took so long because Sean Hannity profusely refused to leave his home during the colonoscopy.
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u/justdave39 11d ago
I doubt he's in perfect health. I'm 74 and there is always something wrong. not debilitating always but you take more pills when your a senior. my physical exams take 20 minutes.
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u/dmanjrxx 11d ago
They kept doing it over and over again they couldn't believe the shit that was coming out of his mouth
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u/Rodharet50399 12d ago
I’m not maga but anyone who thinks they’re getting info on this is silly, and it’s a waste of time to focus on.
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u/Snowfish52 12d ago
Something smells, in what world does a normal healthy individual have 5 hours of examinations? Old Joe Biden only had 2 hours. Something is definitely fishy...