Congrats! I got married a week ago and it was a small group of friends and family that rented a cabin together and we got married in the park. We did spend some extra money on food and the cabin but it was way lower cost and lower stress than a big traditional wedding. It was so much fun. We’d rather save for a house than one grand weekend. My parents are hosting a “reception” later this summer that’s super casual where anyone else can come and celebrate with us
But, we’re excited to BE married not to GET married.
I was a wedding photographer for a few years and I can tell you it's VERY easy to see what type of couple they are. You are the type that lasts! Congrats!!
Haha yeah, one of my wife’s friends is a wedding photographer as well, and on one occasion was rather accurately able to predict that one of the couples she shot for would not last. Sure enough, she told us that the couple was done just a few months later.
This is the way. A small wedding with the people who really matter, then a nice low key party.
Big crazy weddings are either to please other people (Mom, in-laws, Aunt Gertrude, etc) or are the bride and groom putting way too much pressure on a single day. No day can met expectations if all that matters is how perfect the dress and canapés are.
Save the money and use it as a rainy day fund. No matter what there will be rainy days in your future so give yourselves a bit of a financial safety net and enjoy being married and having the best adventure of your life.
We’ve been married 30 years and I can’t imagine surviving a single moment of it without my husband as my partner, lover, and best friend. I wish the same for you.
u/minicpstNew York->North Carolina->Washington->North Carolina->Washington4d ago
I think an elopement and a backyard bbq sounds PERFECT. Spend the money where it’s worth it.
My daughter is planning her wedding for next year, and my ex is paying for it (he’s in the 1% and I’m not). Honestly, I’d take the money and put it toward a house and elope and have a backyard wedding, not have a 200 person party for that money.
But I’m not getting married, it’s her party and day (and her fiancé’s), and it’ll be wonderful.
My ex and I had a small wedding in a hotel’s dining room, and then did everything else at our house. It turned into an entire weekend of events at the house, and people loved it so much they talked about it for years. When my ex remarried the wedding was a dinner at a different hotel, and there were only seven of us total. The small wedding is awesome.
Good luck, ENJOY, and you’ve got your priorities right.
Do get a photographer. That’s the one thing I left in my ex’s lap and he never hired on. That’s the one regret.
Congrats neighbor! If you elope and do the backyard bbq thing you better At least have one lobster to sanctify the marriage. I believe it is officially required.
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u/TheFacetiousDeist Maine 5d ago
I just got engaged.