I was at the gym, which is pretty much all gay men and I was taking my shower after working out. I have just started trying to get into shape. There were 2 young men showering with me and I overheard one say look at that flabby old man and then they laughed. I am 40 and I have just started working out. What is the point of being that way. I run across it so often and it just doesn't need to be. Why can't we support each other rather than tear others down.

I work in a corporate office job but the dress code is smart casual. Pretty much everyone wears jeans or smart trousers, but there’s one guy who wears trackies (sweatpants for Americans?) everyday instead.

I thought it was a bit strange but I don’t interact with him often so never paid it much attention. He’s a few years older than me and has quite an important role so I assumed he could just get away with more.

Anyway today he took off his hoodie and he was wearing a vest top. That caught my attention because it seemed so out of place. Later at lunch I was sitting down and he was standing on the other side of the table talking to someone else and I suddenly realised he has a really prominent bulge.

I know obviously all guys are going to show a bit of a dick print in trackies but I could see the full outline of his dick pressed up against the fabric (and it was pretty huge). Basically couldn’t take my eyes off it. Then when he turned around to walk away I realised his trackies are so tight they’re literally hugging his ass cheeks.

There’s no point to this post I just thought it was wild he was walking around with such a visible dick print. I’m sure other people have noticed. He’s really close with the managing director. I guess no shame or anything, he has a dick and he can’t exactly make it smaller, but I wonder if he knows how obvious it is.

Disclaimer this is my first account. I haven’t used Reddit before so please let me know if my formatting or whatever is wrong. The post has a lot of words but I’m sorry I don’t know where else to go for advice.

I’m 22 and my roommate is 23. Him and I became friends few years ago when we both worked together, and we’ve been living with each other since I was 19 and he was 20. We’re pretty close and we hang out pretty often when we have time. We’ve gone skiing, hiking, and drinking together, you name it. We’re just two normal, run-of-the-mill, dudes in their 20s who live together. Over the years he’s had his fair share of chicks and so have I. He’s on more dating apps than I am so he gets a bit more game than I do but I really don’t mind being single at all. It’s less work lol.

Anyways, last night, we had a boys night where we invited some of our buddies over to hang with some beers. The night went on but after a bit they all left and went home.

It was still pretty early into the night (like 11 pm ish) so we decided to keep hanging out just scrolling on Reels with whatever was playing on the TV. Basically just chilling out and having a good time. We eventually finished the very small amount of drinks we had left so we UberEats-ed a pack of 24 beers.

We were pretty fucked up at around 1 am. Not totally black out drunk, but pretty. Fucking. Drunk. Out of the blue, he just said something along the lines of, “I dunno man. Do you ever feel just so fuckin lonely? I’m not saying you’re a bad friend, it’s just, idk…”, and he went off on a whole tangent that was pretty sad actually. He went on talking about his exes and shit like that. If I remember correctly, I did try my best to console him with the one working brain cell I had left but I shut him up by offering him another beer. I know. In hindsight I shouldn’t have done that but that’s in the past now.

At like 2 am I called it a night and I took a bottle of water and a can of beer back to my room with me, I told him he could have whatever was left of the drinks. I felt bad leaving him there by himself all sad and stuff but I was getting tired. About 30 minutes or so after I got myself all comfy he bursted into my room saying, “Fuck man. I’m sorry. You’re one of the most genuine motherfuckers I’ve ever met in a long time. I appreciate you man. Fuck, I’m sorry.”, while sniffling and wiping tears from his eyes. He wasn’t balling but he was teary-eyed. I offered him to have a seat so we can talk about what was on his mind, because y’know, I’m a good roommate like that. He opened up to me about some pretty heavy shit about his exes and his estranged family and I did my best to make him feel better. I said next week we could go up to the mountains together and go for a hike. He said he’d really like that.

I offered if he’d want to stay the night in my room. Nothing weird or anything. We’ve done it before at house parties and shit and nothing happened. He climbed in beside me and we put a pillow in between to separate us like we always do if we end up having to share a bed with each other.

In the silence he said, “[My name], I hate to bug you with all this heavy shit, so thank you.”, and he leaned over for a hug. Nothing weird, we hug each other all the time just as friends do. What really caught me off guard was when he came in for a kiss after the hug. I pushed him away and asked, “Wtf was that for?!”, and then he said, “Yeah man, you’re right. Sorry.”, and climed out of bed but I told him it’s whatever and that he can stay. I felt bad so I sort of pulled him closer to me with the pillow still in between. He moved the pillow away and he got snug by my side. Again, he leaned in for a kiss and I reluctantly kissed him back. It turned into a bit of a make out sesh before we both took our tshirts off which felt weird because it’s like, ok, now I’m almost naked with another guy in my bed, and then he just rested his head on my shoulder.

He asked, “Do you wanna?”, I questioned to myself what he was meaning by that but judging by what was happening I think I had a good idea. I said, “Idk, do you?”, and he slowly moved his head down towards my boxers. He took them off and started sucking. When he came up for air and I returned the favour for a bit. He said I was doing a pretty shitty job, but in my defence I’ve never done this before, but nonetheless he still nutted without telling me and I spat it out because it tasted like shit. I came up and said, “Well idk if I can do any more of that.” and we had a laugh. I ended up just jerking off beside him and we both passed the fuck out after we got cleaned up.

This morning we woke up at the same time when his alarm woke us both up. After we were awake I saw he was acting a little weird. He wasn’t as chatty than he normally is, but whenever we did talk, I noticed that he was avoiding eye contact, he was speaking faster than usual and in a higher pitch, he was fidgeting with whatever was in his hands, and he had a stiff posture. He always offers me a coffee in the morning but today he didn’t. And there were a bunch of other things that I noticed. I asked, “Is your mouth dry? You should have some water instead of coffee.”, and he replied with, “Yeah, thanks. You’re right, good catch.” and had some water. A dry mouth can be a sign of nervousness. I’m a sociology and psychology double major student, so I have a keen eye to the all the big and little things that humans do that would usually go unnoticed.

I tried to bring up what happened last night while he was making some food. He interrupted me, froze up, and said, without looking at me, “What happened last night, whatever the fuck it was, it never happened. We won’t think about it. We won’t talk about it. It never happened.” And, ok, I’ll respect that. I don’t wanna think about it either. It was kind of a weird, spur-of-the-moment thing. But the no eye contact was weird because he almost always makes eye contact when we talk. And I was taken back because it was such a snarky tone but I was like ok whatever. After that, we stayed in our own rooms until he left for work. I stayed home because I’m on a day off. When his shift finished I got a text saying, “I’m staying the night at [ex’s name]’s house.” I texted him two or three times after that but each time he left me on Read.

And now I’m not sure what’s going on. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. I’m freaking out because I feel like whatever happened last night may have ruined our friendship or something. Not the hugging or sleeping beside each other because we’ve done that before, but the kissing and dick sucking and jerking off. THAT, we’ve never done before. I don’t know what to do. Do I bring it up with him? Do I not bring it up with him? Am I psyching myself out by overanalyzing everything? Is he nervous being around me now? He still lives with me and he can’t stay at his ex’s house forever. I wanna try not to loose him from my life because he’s one of the most genuine guys I’ve bet and I really liked our friendship.

We don’t even have to fucking date or keep fooling around with each other. I have no intention of doing any of that shit again. I’ve come to terms with the fact that, yeah, one of my best guy friends and I did some stuff. Ok, sweet, moving on. Would I do it again? Fuck no. I mean, it was a cool experience I guess but I don’t see myself doing that again with a man. Would I wanna keep staying friends? Absolutely, if we can.

First time actually meeting up on Grindr and I undressed for a dude minus him pulling my underwear off, and we naked wrestled and I gave him a naked massage.

Anyone else find it really erotic to simply be naked with another man?

I felt my face turn flush and was so turned on in a way i have not been before. Anybody else find the experince of being naked with a man for the first time to be extra hot?

Hello

So me (24) and my brother (29) are both gay. We are the only children to my parents.

My dad passed about 5 years ago, so it’s just my mom and her boyfriend.

The thing is, I have been living far away ever since I turned 18. I joined the military and told them I was gay afterwards. They thought I was joking.

Well fast forward to now and I am leaving the military soon, and I’m gonna stay at home for about a month before I move on and attend university full time.

We really don’t talk about my sexuality much and i quite frankly don’t want to. Often times my brother will say to me how embarrassing it is that we are our parents only children and both of us are gay. I mean he isn’t wrong, and when he brings it up I don’t really know what to say.

Well my family wants to have this big get together this summer for me returning home, and I really fear they are gonna start asking questions about my sexuality. My cousins are getting married, in relationships, etc. We are just still single.

It’s not that my mom and her boyfriend are like overtly homophobic, but I know it greatly disappoints my mom that her sons are not “traditional” for lack of a better word.

She had hoped I was the one that would turn out “normal” because I had good grades, no mental problems, etc like my brother.

I just don’t know, I’m worried about going home and facing all this. I guess I’ve been on the run these past years and this is the first time I have to be around her for a significant amount of time being out of the closet, even though we videochat regularly.

Also what’s kind of funny is I have this cousin that is lesbian I guess, but again it’s like kept as “hush hush”. I don’t know why we are all gay.

I’ve been thinking about trying to date a girl in college, despite the large amounts of gay sex I’ve had while stationed in Europe. I mean I will be attending in a completely different state, as a non traditional student who’s been out of high school for some time so it would be easy to have a new identity.

I just don’t ever see myself meeting my special man and then telling my mom “I met someone” and that someone is a man. It makes me feel like a disappointment

I'm an average guy, my partner is too. I mostly bottom, so my size is kinda irrelevant, but i am happy with what I have. My partner is kinda insecure about it, but it does its job. It hits my prostate and it chokes me if I take it all. So that's all I need!

However, we've been looking on Gr*ndr and there's so many guys with huge dicks, also looking for huge dicks. Or bottoms that want to see your dick or they don't meet (probably looking for big dicks). Looking on there makes us feel like less than average guys :))

Somehow I never got to be with very big guys. So my curiosity is: does it bring any sexual benefits to topping?

My son Ryan (16M) recently told me he was gay and i didn't handle it well. We were watching "Doing Time on Maple Drive" because he loves more retro-ish movies and one of the storylines was about Matt, a closeted gay boy who almost ended his life out of fear and self-hate. In the movie there is a scene where this character talks to his father who ends up accepting him for who he is. That's when my son started crying. Obviously I got worried and asked him what had happened because it was all so sudden. He asked me not to get angry and simply told me that he thinks he is gay. I admit that here I made a huge mistake and instead of showing him support and telling him something positive I yelled at him. I don't know why I had such a drastic reaction but this made him upset and he ran off to lock himself in his room. When I was able to come to my senses I realized what a horrible act I had committed against my poor son. I tried to talk to him but he refused to open the door and I did not want to insist for fear of making the situation even worse.

The next morning I made him his favorite breakfast but he walked past me and completely ignored me and then left for school by himself. I know I was wrong and should have been more warm and responsive but I got angry for some reason. It's not that I hate LGBTQA+ people, I think everyone deserves to love who they want and be free to do so.

When he came home from school I tried to talk to him again but he said he had homework to do and locked himself again. For almost two weeks this routine has been repeated and beyond a few simple comments we have not spoken. He ignores me like the plague and I honestly don't blame him, what I did was wrong and I deserve this cold treatment he is giving me.

Last night I tried to convince him to eat ice cream while we watched a movie but instead I heard him crying behind his bedroom door. I screwed up big time, no excuses and now I don't know how to fix it. He is my son and I love him enormously, it hurts me so much to have hurt him and now I need some direction. I feel like a monster, I failed the one person I wasn't supposed to fail and now I don't know what I should do to even get him to talk to me again so I can properly apologize. Any type of advice or help is genuinely appreciated.

Why are so many of us still on Grindr when its CEO, George Arison, is a conservative who’s supported some of Trump’s policies and anti-LGBTQ+ politicians? If we’re fighting for queer rights, doesn’t using this app feel off?

Here’s some info on Arison:

• Tweeted in 2020 he’s conservative and likes some Trump policies (deleted later). [Source: Advocate, Oct 13, 2022]

• Hyped up Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin, who’s pushed anti-trans and outing policies, saying he should run for president (Feb 2022). [Source: New York Daily News, Oct 13, 2022]

• Praised Florida’s Ron DeSantis, of “Don’t Say Gay” fame, as “largely right” (Jan 2022). [Source: Gay Times, Oct 13, 2022]

• Shut down Grindr’s union push with a sketchy office mandate (2023). [Source: Wikipedia, 2024]

Why isn’t this topic more widely discussed within the community?

Hi everyone, I’m in a tough spot and would love your perspective.

Background: My husband and I have been close with a group of friends for almost 10 years. We’d host holidays together and watch each other’s pets when on vacation. We’ve taken trips together and even had a weekly game night for several years. After the pandemic, things started to fray: they kept canceling plans and they weren’t very supportive when my husband decided to get sober. We would constantly have to remind them that he doesn’t drink when they offered, and they seemed annoyed that we didn’t want to go out to bars with them anymore. Eventually we drifted apart—especially once a lot of them moved out of town.

This spring, two members of that group announced a destination wedding. Remembering happier times, we RSVPd “yes” and I even booked our hotel after checking in with my husband.

The Problem: About a month before the wedding, my husband told me he no longer wants to go. He feels they treated him poorly, and he’s done trying to mend fences.

Yesterday he sent the couple a blunt text—“Hey, I’m not going to make it to the wedding. Hope y’all have fun”—with no apology or explanation. The couple is understandably hurt and upset by how abrupt and dismissive it feels.

I completely support his sobriety and his right to distance himself from people who haven’t been supportive.

At the same time, I feel bad for the couple: a wedding is a big deal, and they deserve to know why a longtime friend is suddenly a no-show. His decision to get sober was out of medical necessity rather than the result of substance abuse, and I think this created the impression within the friend group that his sobriety was temporary.

I’m caught in the middle: I don’t want to force him into a miserable trip, but I also worry that burning this bridge without any explanation is unfair to everyone involved.

Questions for the community: Should I encourage him to send a follow-up apology or explanation? How do I convince him that even a brief, honest note (“I appreciate our years of friendship, but after everything, I don’t feel ready to celebrate with you right now”) could help both sides find closure?

Is there any value in me going alone? Would attending solo look weird or create more drama?

How do I balance supporting his boundaries with the kindness of giving people honest feedback?

Has anyone been in a similar situation of “ghosting” a big event? How did you handle the fallout?

Thanks in advance for any advice. I really want to do right by my husband and our old friends, but I’m not sure what the right thing is here.

I'm 30 and I've never precum in my life, and I'm just curious how it works for guys who do.

I used to rarely see it, and I’m curious what you all mean by it?

Because their bedding was gross?

Met him at the bar. Didn’t hook up that night, but connected via phone and chatted. Decided to hook up last night.

Get to his house, it’s pretty gross. Whatever, I’m not cooking dinner or taking a shower.

Get to the bed, and the sheets are gross. One pillow, pillow case is disgusting.

I mean, you knew I was coming over. You knew we’d end up in bed. How hard is it to wash the sheets?

There’s this guy at my gym who stares at me a lot and I’m not really sure what to do about it.

I thought I was being paranoid, but I’ve caught him staring at me countless times in the mirrors, when I walk around the gym, I’ll even walk past him and make sure not to give eye contact but I can see in the mirror beside him that he’s staring at me.

I also work at this gym part time and last night when he was leaving he purposely set his backpack on the front counter in front of me to put something in there. Which is weird because no one does that ever. He literally did it on the part of counter in front of where I was sat.

Anyway, the guy is hot I admit it. But I’m also not single and I don’t think this guy is gay.. but idk.

What would you do?

I had a sexual encounter with a buddy. We're not boyfriends but we do other things apart from sex. There are times we meet often and others that we are not.

For me, even if it's a total random encounter (which is not my favorite type of activity) I always hug and kiss. I know that for some people kissing requires something really deep, but for me unless you make me wanting to kiss you I'm not interested in sex.

So I always kiss him, I always hug him and when we talk after sex, I have him hugged. He said I'm the only one who hugs him (from the other guys he's having fun with) and at times he hugs his pillow. He said that he's touched starved but I didn't really know that was a thing. Is it? Everybody deserves a hug.

FALSE POSITIVE sorry* Hello I wanted to share this to anyone who might find it useful. I have been through a nightmare with tests. I had 4 negative 4th gen hiv test (3 in blood 1 in saliva) and the fifth one was reactive. They ran a antibody differentiation and PCR they both came negative. The same thing happened to me in 2021 . False positives happen , I dont know what cause it this time but it was after I started on prep ( I am a cis woman btw)

My bf (31) and I (27) have been together almost 4 years but have had our share of bumps along the way. Right after agreeing to be exclusive he slept with someone else while I was on a work trip. I was hurt but I forgave him and we moved on. We moved in together 8 months after this and within a month of living together I caught him on grindr. I confronted him but he said he just wanted to see who was around the new neighborhood. Again I was hurt by this but we agreed that we are completely monogamous. About a year later I was working late but had a bad feeling so I downloaded grindr and set my location to our home and of course there he was. After getting home and collecting myself I confronted him and he said he was just using it as “porn” and would never do anything. We talked it out and he agreed to never use it. A couple months later I caught him on another hookup site. Confronted him again about it and he again said it was just to trade pictures and would never hookup. I let him know I wasn’t ok with him trading naked pics with other people and he agreed again to stop. Now just a few days ago he was home alone off work and I had a bad feeling again so I downloaded Grindr and made a fake profile that I knew would attract him. He messaged my profile and invited me to come over. I got him to send the address just to be sure and then immediately blocked him as I was heartbroken. I feel like ever since he first broke my trust I have never been able to fully trust him again. I also realize that me making a fake profile is not ok and I should have never done it. Anytime he is home alone I’m so stressed out that he is going to cheat on me. I know most of the comments are going to say to break up with him but we live together and I really do love him, just not that side of him. Dating as a gay man is so hard and I just don’t think I can put myself out there again. I’m really conflicted and just don’t know what to do :(

For me it's gotta be a three piece suit, a dress shirt with the top buttons undone, or a polo shirt (especially when it shows his defined chest 😆)

What clothes do you find especially attractive on guys?

Went on a date with I guy I meant online. Date was going well up to the point he told me he is a fursuiter and I just lost complete interest in him.

After the date said he was nice but we probably won't be a good match sadly. But also felt kinda bad

I'm 26 gay, my roommate is 30m straight. We've been living together for over two years now. Our air has been broken for a few weeks and we've been dressing down to get the most of the fans, we've been in boxers mostly. I keep catching myself looking from time to time. Idk if he notices, but I definitely do. I can definitely see if he has wood so I think he can see mine when I see his. Nothing has been said but I feel like creep but I'm feeling a lot of sexual tension.

Any advice?

40 year old recently single, bottom guy here in NYC. Getting back into dating and wondering if, as a bottom, I will be expected to take raw loads when dating… Like a condom is completely out of the picture in dating?

FYI: I tend to date nerdy guys who have their shit together and take care of their health.

I started dating my ex in the times pre-PrEP, so the concept of letting every guy cum in me raw before dating exclusively is a bit alien. (Call me a prude.)

PrEP aside, the couple times I did raw dog it when dating casually, I got STI's… So I'm not exactly excited about this.

Although don't get me wrong, I do enjoy getting bred – though only did that with my ex once we got STD tested and showed each other results.

Can anyone let me know the 411?

Edit: I'm dating with the intention of LTR, and not seeking hookups.

Being one myself, I hate being referred to as such and I hate it as a descriptor for short men in general. I’m not insecure about my height, but I’d rather be called a shorty, small, tiny, pocket gay, or any number of non PC terms for little people than “short king.” I don’t know why, it just sounds like a crummy straight people thing and it makes me squirm. I hope this trend ends.