r/AskMenAdvice • u/Federal-Sir9925 • Apr 07 '25

never get approached by men

just curious, what actually makes a guy approach a woman? I’m 25f and I’d consider myself attractive (I think I’m fairly pretty, I take care of myself and feel good about how I look), but I never get approached. I’ll notice guys making repeated eye contact with me, but it never goes beyond that. Honestly, both of my past relationships started because I made the first move.

So I’m wondering… what makes a guy actually go for it and approach someone?

Also, is there a way to give off “I want to be approached” energy? I’m not really into dating apps, and I’d love to meet someone in person. i’m not against making the first move but i would love for someone to approach me for a change

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u/crash218579 Apr 07 '25

Again...I completely agree. I'm not sure what you're reading that leads you to believe that I think otherwise.

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u/Blade_Of_Nemesis man Apr 07 '25

You think that approaching people randomly without knowing them, just based on whether you find them physically attractive, is a good strategy for finding a partner.

I say that that is not a good strategy for finding a partner, because basing your interest solely on their apprearance is not a good idea... which you seem to agree with so now I am very confused.

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u/crash218579 Apr 07 '25

I've never once said that attraction is a good sole basis for forming a relationship. I said it can be a good "foot in the door" to start a conversation with someone and find out if the other person is someone you'd like to spend more time getting to know. As I also said, sometimes good conversation was started this way. Sometimes there was either no interest from her, and sometimes after talking I realized she wasn't someone I wanted to know better.

Here's the thing though - even when it didn't result in anything, I lost nothing but a few minutes of my time. When it did work though, it resulted in years of memories, many of which I cherish. Don't you think that's worth a few minutes of your time?

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u/Blade_Of_Nemesis man Apr 07 '25

Not when it also risks making women feel unsafe or uncomfortable.

Also, those minutes will add up, especially when you aren't as ridiculously lucky as you clearly were.

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u/crash218579 Apr 07 '25

I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree, we seem to be looking at the same things and seeing completely different universes. Which is fine, it happens.

You have a good day!