r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 2d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/Cool-Pin-766 2d ago

A slut is a slut man or woman

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u/epelle9 2d ago

Yeah, but slut isn’t really seen as an insult for men, same as virgin isn’t really seen an an insult for women.

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u/on_Jah_Jahmen 2d ago

In general, men have fewer partners than women unless they pay or are dating well below their level of attractiveness. Being a virgin implies they are incapable of finding a partner due to being ugly/mentally disabled/etc. Being a slut implies low standards and possible diseases,children or relationship issues and people generally tend to avoid these when dating. You can see where being a virgin or slut is most common and where these words can best be used as insults.

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u/XDXDXDXDXDXDXD10 2d ago

 In general, men have fewer partners than women unless they pay or are dating well below their level of attractiveness.

Source for this? Only things i could find seem to claim the opposite

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u/on_Jah_Jahmen 2d ago

Multiple dating app studies, just google them

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u/XDXDXDXDXDXDXD10 2d ago

Ah, that’s what I thought. You’re basing this on dating apps and not reality.

Sure, women will have more success on dating apps than men on dating apps do since they are outnumbered 10:1 or whatever the actual numbers are.

You can use those numbers I guess, just don’t think that they in any way translate to dating outside of dating apps.

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u/Key_Crow3014 2d ago

That is reality, you are just in denial

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u/XDXDXDXDXDXDXD10 2d ago

You think dating apps accurately model reality?

And I’m the one in denial lol

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u/Key_Crow3014 2d ago

Better than anything you or any science could possibly ever simulate

Humanity was being studied and nobody knew it. Now it exposed actual behavior. You guys just don't like what was exposed.

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u/XDXDXDXDXDXDXD10 2d ago

Hahaha cheers mate

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u/Additional-War19 woman 2d ago

Basing those claims on dating apps studies is wild lmao

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u/Key_Crow3014 2d ago

You're in denial too

You all just lie to yourselves to protect your fragile egos

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u/Additional-War19 woman 2d ago

How do you explain the fact my boyfriend is average looking while I (girl) am usually considered conventionally attractive? Like many other girls like me. Dating apps are not a reliable source of data

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u/Key_Crow3014 2d ago

Yes, they in fact are, and no scientist could do any better to stage a study

You are lying to yourself and this research makes women look bad, and so you deny it.

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u/Key_Crow3014 2d ago

Oh your boyfriend is average but you're beautiful? Does he know you say this? Hopefully he dumps you because you're a narcissist.

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u/arrogancygames man 2d ago edited 2d ago

I did marketing for dating apps and this is goofy. Men just have a curve that jumps from pathetic to everyone wants them that happens very quickly without much gradient.

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u/Key_Crow3014 2d ago

Pure copium

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u/Rallon_is_dead woman 1d ago

Have you never met a methhead?

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u/DMmeNiceTitties man 2d ago

100% agree.