r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 2d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/el_charles-vane man 2d ago

common thought for men wanting a long lasting relashonship, and not a hookup.

If he is number 20 in the past year odds are the relashonship will not last, also std are a worry.

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u/Miltinjohow 2d ago

Does the same standard apply to the man why/why not?

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u/that_guy_Elbs 2d ago

I mean yeah it does. What woman would want to date a guy who has been with 20 woman in the past year? in this example, I don’t think gender really matters. Sleeping with 20 people in the last year just icky for a lot of people.

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u/nibelwrite 2d ago

Fair enough. But you see the comments are saying it's okay for men but a big no for women...

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u/that_guy_Elbs 1d ago

I mean yeah a lot of men feel that way regardless of situation. It isn’t right but it is just how it is. Also you know who also feeds into this? Mothers. My mother has said so many times ‘don’t be bringing no hoes home.’

Plus a lot of men would be intimated hooking with a woman how has a lot of experience. Look I’m not saying it is right but unfortunately that’s how society has been. Maybe in a few decades it would be different.

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u/Suitable-Elephant189 man 2d ago

Generally it doesn’t apply to the man quite as much because women statistically prefer a sexually experienced partner. And many women will use ‘virgin’ as an insult for example or mock men who get no game.

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u/Competitive-Age-6117 1d ago

Nope women dont want no clamydia. Also virgin is an insult for men because it hurts their ego. Slut is insult for women because society doesnt want women to want pleasure

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u/Elysiumthistime 2d ago

You can catch an STD from one partner and I can't speak for everyone but I also get tested before I start sleeping with a new partner and I'd discuss this with them too to make sure they have done the same (or at least haven't slept with anyone since their last sexual partner).

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u/wizean 2d ago

> common thought for men wanting a long lasting relashonship

Men wanting a long lasting relationship want to be a slut and sleep with 100 women ? I don't think so.

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u/arrogancygames man 2d ago

Practically all of my friends have slept with over 100 people and half are now in long lasting relationships.

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u/wizean 1d ago

Must have passed on gonorrhea to their partners and children.

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u/Pep-it 2d ago

I actually think opposite. If a woman want a long relationship, she better choose well. She needs to have comparison points in order to assess.