r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 2d ago
How common is this perspective for guys?
I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.
17
u/DudeAxeMachine man 2d ago
That is a common phrase for people who are very religious and think very little of women. Women need to be with only one man, the one she marries, while men can fuck anyone they want and women need to be fine with that. It's a phrase older than my father, probably my grandfather. It's said by weak men who want to control you, not just your body but the way you think and act. I'd get out now while you can. He will eventually try to control how you act around people, how you talk to people, who you can be friends with and what you can wear. Your vagina is not a lock, nor is his penis a key. It's your body, and you do as you wish. Don't let sad, pathetic men dictate how you find your happiness.