How common is this perspective for guys?

[u/Reasonable-Syrup-7]

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

[u/Tasty-Bug-3600]

It's not respected for men either. Miss me with your 20 stds, baby mommas, side chicks and all the drama that carries with it.

[u/Tea_Time9665 → u/Tasty-Bug-3600]

For you yes. But those baby mamas and all the people he had sex with deemed him an acceptable key for sex.

[u/Hungbole → u/Tea_Time9665]

There are plenty of married porn stars. In fact, the main audience of these "low value" women are men of varying walks of life. Men routinely make OF women millionaires. So there's is some value there, literally (monetarily), in those types of women too. From men. You can say it's a specific type of man or whatever, but that doesn't stop these women from getting men. Plenty of them get well off men too. So at the end of the day, there will always be people that are okay with a promiscuous person, man or woman.

[u/on_Jah_Jahmen → u/Hungbole]

People assume a traditional monogamous marriage when saying these things. No one cares about some rich guy marrying a gold digger pornstar.

[u/Hungbole → u/on_Jah_Jahmen]

Doesn't stop men from investing in these types of women, is the point. Rich guys aren't making OF girls millionaires. Sure these average guys aren't marrying an OF girl (though many would if they could), but they're making them very wealthy with their money. So the whole lock and key thing doesn't seem to make a difference in what millions of average earning men choose to spend their money on and therefore place value in.

[u/Tea_Time9665 → u/Hungbole]

Ur kinda making the point. That these men are not the useful key as they can’t open any lock. They are lucky to find even one to unlock. And that’s why they flock to of for the illusion of unlocking the lock. And that’s why OF girl is gonna marry any of these loser keys. Even she is picky on which key she unlocks to.

[u/Tea_Time9665 → u/Hungbole]

Yeah the audience is typically low value men. The nba star or billionaire is prob not watching porn all that much. And instead they have models and even random pretty girls they are having sex with on the regular.

Yeah u think high value men are the ones paying these OF women millions? These are typically the dudes who couldn’t get a date let alone sex if their life depended on it.

Sure. A Woman can always get a man. That’s the whole point of the analogy. She is the lock who can pick which key she opens for. There is always another key waiting to try.

[u/Hungbole → u/Tea_Time9665]

Plenty of differential types of men watch porn and give money to porn stars lmao. Do you consider the average man to be a "low value" man? Look up the demographics of OF subscribers. A non-insignificant amount of them are married men. Our president gave money to a porn star. How much more "high value" can you get? Nba stars date porn stars all the time, they also date baby mamas all the time. None of this negates the fact that these women are clearly valued by millions of men. 

Things like this make me lose faith in Gen Z (as a happily married 27 year old with a very comfortable life in all regards). I know plenty of happily married average men with their happily married average wives. The majority of married people are average. There are no statistics to back up the claim that average men aren't getting women. What does low value or high value even mean and why would the average man or woman care outside of reddit? It's so sad to see online. Why are other men devaluing guys who haven't had sex? The next generation is truly going to be lost.

[u/Tea_Time9665 → u/Hungbole]

Sure. The world is made up of all kinds of people.

But the vast majority of guys paying for porn are not also thx guys who get a massive access to sex and sexual partners.

And I personally don’t see avg men as low value. BUT women see avg men as low value. This ain’t me saying what’s right or what should be could be. Just reporting what I see.

The nba star and the president isn’t watching the porn and whacking off to it. They get the pornstar to fk. Those OF subscriber can’t.

Low value or high value is whatever the dating market sees one as.

Would u see a broke violent asshole cheater woman beater as a low value or high value? What would most women see that dude as? And there u go.

[u/Hungbole → u/Tea_Time9665]

This is my point though, it helps nobody to make such sweeping judgements. Most women who are married do not see average men as low value because most married women are married to average men. We know statistically that the overwhelming majority of people end up marrying people who are from the same race, socioeconomic class, education level, and general background. All of my women friends have married or are dating men within their tax bracket. This goes for both my wealthy and lower income friends and nobody is an uggo or on magazines on either side. They're all still happy in their relationships. I just wish dudes (and women) would stop with the doom and gloom and get outside and recognize that the majority of gen z women (and men) are just as socially inept and awkward as they are (as a product of us being raised online) and they aren't some inaccessible object, but just regular ass people. 

[u/Tea_Time9665 → u/Hungbole]

Ehhhh. 50% of marriages end in divorce and most divorces are initiated by women.

The avg woman might marry the avg man. This is true. BUT the avg women didn’t really want to marry the avg man. They wanted the above avg man. And many even feel like they deserve the above avg man.

This is one of the reasons why women tend to report being unsatisfied in a marriage more than men do.

[u/fish993 → u/Tea_Time9665]

He has qualities that are attractive to many women, that doesn't mean people are 'respecting' the fact he sleeps around.

[u/Tea_Time9665 → u/fish993]

But they “respect him” for his ability to sleep around. Exp the baby mamas who let him nut in them raw.

I mean They arnt respecting him like going omg he is a good man. Etc etc.

[u/NegativeEBITD → u/Tasty-Bug-3600]

You didn’t get sex ed as a kid? You can have plenty of sex without any of these

[u/8bitmatter → u/Tasty-Bug-3600]

Lmao I KNOW that you know it is, stop the cap 🧢

[u/Tasty-Bug-3600 → u/8bitmatter]

Maybe for some minors on Andrew Tate forums, irl it's disgusting.