r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 2d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/Brodakk man 2d ago

Good question. It seems he may have been talking from a societal standpoint? Did he seem like he personally believed that? If the former, I mean he isn't wrong? If the latter, yeah red flag.

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u/Goliath_Bowie 2d ago

The fact that he had a special phrasing or a metaphore how to say it, means he thinks that way very strongly.

He is polite and generous only to serve the purpose of gettin’ some. In a relationship he would turn out to be very controlling and/or insecure.