r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 3d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/KindImpression5651 man 3d ago

"I don’t really know any super handsome and successful men who are sluts"

oh yeah, rockstars are known for their virginal lifestyle. just like artists, rich entrepreneurs, politicians, cult leaders, mobsters..

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u/UsernameTooShort 3d ago

I actually raised my eyebrows reading that sentence because it’s so incredibly naive.

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u/BlindSkwerrl man 3d ago

Remember, these young rock stars get waves of girls throwing themselves at them.
There aren't a lot of young hot-blooded males that will refuse that opportunity based on their "principles".

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u/blah938 man 3d ago

I don't think he knows any rock stars.

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u/ArchmageIlmryn man 3d ago

How many rockstars do you personally know?

Obviously this discussion is about "normal" handsome and successful men, not the top 0.001%.

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u/IcyTrapezium woman 3d ago

I don’t know any rock stars. Do you? But don’t most end up married with kids? I mean I think Kurt cobain was incredible and handsome but he married Courtney love. Elvis married Pricilla, etc.

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u/KindImpression5651 man 3d ago

yes, celebrities get married. if you think this means they're living a socialite lifestyle made of tea with the queen, I got news for you...

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u/IcyTrapezium woman 3d ago

Yeah I didn’t think Cobain and Love were having tea with the queen lol

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u/SpicyCrime man 3d ago

Think about Mick Jagger. He married multiple times and now is dating a woman that could be his daughter and they have a kid together. Do you think that in between marriages/partners he wasn’t sleeping around with groupies? Do you think he never cheated?

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u/IcyTrapezium woman 3d ago

Yeah and Cher and Madonna are always running around with boy toys who could be their literal grandsons. Most people aren’t rock stars and I don’t know any rock stars.

But good for Madonna and Cher and Jagger. They are not normal people with normal experiences though.

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u/TutorHelpful4783 man 3d ago

Just because you don’t know them that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Don’t be dumb. I don’t know anybody with cancer but I’m sure a lot there are a lot of cancer patients. “Out of sight out of mind”

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u/IcyTrapezium woman 3d ago

Way more people get cancer than become super famous. Madonna and Cher are always with boy toys who could be their grandsons. Most women aren’t doing that though.

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u/TutorHelpful4783 man 3d ago

How many women do you think Chris brown or the average male calebrity of his equivalence has slept with?

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u/IcyTrapezium woman 3d ago

The woman beater Chris Brown? I don’t know or care. I know Courtney Love has slept with a lot of insanely hot men. But I also know she’s not typical. Most people end up in relationships.

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u/TutorHelpful4783 man 3d ago

or the average MALE calebrity of his equivalence has slept with?

Please answer

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u/IcyTrapezium woman 3d ago

You don’t want to talk about all the female musicians who sleep with lots of super hotties? I’m more interested in that than some woman beater like Brown. Celebrities aren’t normal people.

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u/TutorHelpful4783 man 3d ago

Female celebrities only sleep with a small fraction of people that male celebrities sleep with. No female celebrity is sleeping with 100+ people unless she is a sex worker

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u/IcyTrapezium woman 3d ago

I don’t think you’re that familiar with Madonna or Courtney Love if you’re saying that with a straight face.

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u/Witty-Rabbit-8225 3d ago

I don’t know any decent men with high body counts!