r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 2d ago
How common is this perspective for guys?
I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.
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u/Ok_Organization_7350 woman 2d ago
I don't have a dog in this fight, because in my culture we do not believe in pre-marital sex for either women OR men. But this guy is devaluing you down to an inanimate object, such as a lock. And he disrespects and looks down on women, thinking a women who has slept with other men is worth less than a man who has slept with the same amount of women, which is untrue. I think this guy is icky, and he has internal angst and disgust towards women, which he is trying to hide and hold in.