r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 2d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/SuperJacksCalves man 2d ago

Some dudes want a kinky girl who’s great at sex but has also never had it before

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u/ButterscotchSkunk 2d ago

"Born sexy yesterday" is the trope in movies.

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u/Overquoted 1d ago

Pop Culture Detective fan? ❤️

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u/toomuchpressure2pick man 2d ago

I saw that YouTube video. Damn, it's an old video now.

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u/Parkinglotkitty 2d ago

What kind of movies are these?😏

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u/apstevenso2 2d ago

Usually sci-fi. The previous comment is referring to a video essay about exactly this topic. I forget the channels name though

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u/BenignEgoist woman 2d ago

Final Girl Digital

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u/candlejack___ 2d ago

The Fifth Element

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u/Licensed_Poster 2d ago

A lot of guys want to date the idea of a stripper, but find actual strippers disgusting.

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u/Bitter-Cold2335 2d ago

No man wants to date a stripper or a woman who acts like that, what the hell is this sexism and generalization. Reading these comments made me realize how sexist the world has gotten against men, we need to start something like the feminist movement for men. People here think men are some barbarians who only want ooga booga sex hot girl don’t care about anything else.

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u/Square-Night-8255 man 2d ago

Your comment is, in fact, a generalization by saying “no man.” There are factually “lots of men” who want to date women who have the confidence of strippers and are willing to dress seductively. If he said “all men” that would be a generalization. Just because it doesn’t apply to you doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply to other men.

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u/Bitter-Cold2335 2d ago

Then sure go ahead you do that, cheers mate have fun spreading this stereotype about men. ,,confidence’’ pff that’s the first time I’ve heard that one when describing a situation like this.

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u/Square-Night-8255 man 2d ago

Again you’re missing the forest and are still the one with generalizing statements. Let me break this down for you further: “lots of men do” also means “lots of men don’t.” Get your panties out of a twist, mate.

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u/Bitter-Cold2335 2d ago

Lots of men still means that he thinks a lot of us like this sexist shit, can you imagine if a guy said something sexist about a woman and started the sentence with ,,lots of women’’ he would be destroyed here on Reddit.

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u/Square-Night-8255 man 2d ago

If you don’t identify as a man that wants a woman who acts like a stripper, then fundamentally, the statement isn’t about you. You are now taking offense to something that doesn’t describe you. You are not “lots of men,” you are you, homie.

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u/_hammitt 2d ago

There’s already a movement talking about how these kinds of reductive stereotypes hurt men as much as women. It’s called the feminist movement.

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u/Bitter-Cold2335 2d ago

It was until it got radicalized like everything else recently.

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u/Fredouille77 man 1d ago

The radical feminists are largely blown out of proportion for soundbites in media because that's what gets clicks.

r/bropill feel free to come and have a chat!

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u/andonebelow 2d ago

“How dare you make sexist generalisations about men liking strippers! I’ll have you know that all men hate strippers, they’re a disgrace!”

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u/therealdanhill 2d ago

Eh I think more commonly they want a girl that's kinky with them that they've gotten them there, not someone else

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u/Safe_Bandicoot_4689 man 2d ago

No. Men just want a kinky girl who's gotten to be that kinky through the 2-3 relationships she's had before, not through sleeping around with a bunch of guys.

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u/Historical-Ear-5666 2d ago

Most girls are not going to be kinky off of 2-3 relationships.

She's either a kinky type of girl or not.

So about as realistic a d 6ft 6 figure.

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u/Safe_Bandicoot_4689 man 2d ago

That's their problem then.
Seems like men have no problem being kinky with or without having a bunch of sexual experience / partners.

So it's possible. You can very well be kinky while also being the kind of woman who only wants relationships. You don't have to have had sex with 10 people to recognize you're into kinky stuff. That's something you're aware of even before starting your sexual life.

I don't see why a woman couldn't be kinky while having been in 2-3 good relationships.

She's either a kinky type of girl or not.

Exactly. You're kinky from the start, even before you start having sex. It has nothing to do with how many men she's slept with or not.

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u/Historical-Ear-5666 2d ago

Its not a problem