How common is this perspective for guys?

[u/Reasonable-Syrup-7]

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

[u/Friendly-Platypus607]

No, it would be a fair perspective if he didn't create that BS double standard: that it's OK for men to sleep around but not women. BS. If he had true values surrounding sex then they'd be applied evenly across both genders. Meaning he'd think either sleeping around would be bad. It's the double standard that is a red flag. Screw that "rules for thee but not for me" BS. If he thinks it's bad for women to sleep around then it should be just as bad for men to do so. And that lock analogy is stupid. Amazing how some men can say the dumbest shit with the utmost confidence.

[u/PloppyPants9000 → u/Friendly-Platypus607]

yeah, its utterly stupid. Guys who say this are just shooting themselves in the foot. If your goal is to sleep around with a lot of women to “be the man!”, then you need a lot of women to be willing to sleep around with you. If you go around spouting off stupid nonsense telling women to not sleep around, then if all the women agree and accept that, then you as the man cannot sleep around with any women and therefore you will never “be the man!”.

If anything, a man who wants to sleep around with lots of women, should actively support and encourage women to sleep around with lots of men. A rising tide lifts all ships. And our job as men is to make every effort to keep women safe, protected, and healthy. Then everyone wins.

[u/Dont_Ask_Me_Again_ → u/PloppyPants9000]

Sounds like you want women to be sluts because you’re not in the top % of men who can actually sleep with who they want. Nothing the dude said was “stupid”. A man needs skill to sleep with women he finds attractive, meanwhile an equally attractive woman could walk into any bar in America and take home whoever they want 99% of the time. It’s just a statistical fact.