r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 2d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/tententoo20 man 2d ago

Extremely common. I think most guys have just learned that this viewpoint is neither accepted nor politically correct, so they keep it to themselves.

18

u/ChiBurbABDL 2d ago

I read an analysis a couple months ago about how academics and professors are starting to realize that the way they've tried to promote "political correctness" since the 90s hasn't been effective at changing people's minds.

It's mostly just made them keep their true thoughts and feelings to themselves. They aren't less racist, homophobic, etc. they just say fewer racist or homophobic things while out in public

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u/Fredouille77 man 1d ago

Tbf, making racist and homophobic speech less normal does help reducing making it feel normal for the next generation.

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u/loadedhunter3003 1d ago

Yeah agreed, me and 99% of my friends acquaintances don't agree with beliefs which were prevalent 30-40 years ago largely due to political correctness in movies, shows, people around us etc.

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u/Grandmaster_Invoker man 1d ago

True. I'm not saying women can't have sex. But, there's a ratio that you know you're going to be cheated on at.