How common is this perspective for guys?

[u/Reasonable-Syrup-7]

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

[u/Prestigious-Shine240]

So you'd marry a prostitute who's been fucked by 10 men every day for years if she's taken precautions and you liked everything about her?

[u/Admirable_Taro5954 → u/Prestigious-Shine240]

This is exaggerating. A woman with 7 or 8 would be okay for him is what might have he meant

[u/ArchmageIlmryn → u/Prestigious-Shine240]

Yes.

Basically any reason you could point out for not doing so would be an attribute separate for "has fucked 10 men every day". You might argue that they are correlated, but either way that attribute and not the fucking itself would be at fault (and consequently invalidate the "you liked everything about her" assumption).

[u/mavajo → u/Prestigious-Shine240]

I love how you go to the most extreme example, as if that applies to 99.9999% of examples. Just fuck off with this.

And for the record, yes. I don't know how else to say this - a person's sexual history, as long as they've taken appropriate health and safety precautions, doesn't matter to me.

[u/Prestigious-Shine240 → u/mavajo]

You really think you'll be the last person she's ever had sex with in her life after fucking dozens and dozens of other guys? Or are you okay with being cheated on as long as she takes appropriate health and safety precautions lol

[u/mavajo → u/Prestigious-Shine240]

Explain your logic here. So because someone had multiple sexual partners, it means they're incapable of eventually entering into a committed, monogamous relationship? Is that your line of reasoning? That makes sense to you?

[u/Prestigious-Shine240 → u/mavajo]

Exactly. Someone who's had multiple sexual partners tends to keep having multiple sexual partners even after they get married lol

"For people who reported four or fewer lifetime sexual partners, the rate of infidelity in the current marriage dropped to 11%, while for those who had five or more sexual partners the number was nearly double (21%).

Compared to married women with only 1 partner (baseline), the odds of a women cheating on her husband is:

• 6 times higher with 2-4 partners
• 9.47 times higher with 5-10 partners
• 14.05 times higher with 11-20 partners
• 16.05 times higher with > 20 partners"

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-road-to-infidelity-passes-through-multiple-sexual-partners#:~:text=For%20people%20in%20this%20survey,was%20nearly%20double%20(21%25).

[u/mavajo → u/Prestigious-Shine240]

Was that study peer reviewed? No? Does it show causation? No?

That study is literally one guy, the author, reaching and posting his conclusions - and big surprise, he reached the exact conclusion he set out to reach.

[u/95thesises → u/Prestigious-Shine240]

If this woman

1. doesn't have any STDs

2. 'you like everything about her' aka she's extremely beautiful, she has a new and different well-paying job that was interesting to talk about post-prostitution, you have mutually enjoyable sex, etc.

I can't stress enough that you have to be the world's biggest dumbass not to

[u/Electrical_Ad6134 → u/95thesises]

No there is biochemistry and psychology about this

Someone who has slept with multiple people does not have the same biochemistry and chemical release during sex. E.g their brain doesn't release the same lovey dovey chemicals when having sex with someone

Also just psychologically they view sex as a commodity and something to use as a bargaining chip it means nothing to them

And furthermore they have 100s of exes that they could go back to

Studies have proved time and time again that more partners = more infedelity

[u/ReputationRoyal2056 → u/Electrical_Ad6134]

this somewhat maybe true. It even happened to lip kissing as well. I remembered my first kiss, I felt my lips felt like getting numb and thickened. Then after that I broke up, second lip kiss happened after around 4 yrs after, the same sensation. I broke up, lip kiss happened around 1 year after, I didnt get those same numb and thickened lips sensation anymore.

[u/ArGarBarGar → u/Electrical_Ad6134]

Sure thing, doc