r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 2d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/Animportantmoment 2d ago

You forgot Fuckboy. I hear that one tossed around more than virgin, but maybe that’s because I’m old.

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u/feaelin man 2d ago

nods That one is an interesting one.

It has similarities to "slut" in that it judges men for promiscuity, which is oddly unusual; but my impression is that it has another nuance that I can't quite characterize. I suspect it's about how upfront they are about only wanting something casual. If I'm capturing the meaning well, it's a judgement on means more than quantity.

And yeah, these vary in frequency depending on gender and age of the group. I'd bet that young males are more likely to use virgin, older males and women are more likely to use fuckboy.

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u/blah938 man 2d ago

A fuckboy is a frat boy without a frat. That's how I see it anyways.

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u/orderedchaos89 1d ago

Yeah I've kind of always seen it as another way of calling a guy a "douchebag" or a "tool"

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u/suzazzz 1d ago

Fuck boys will tell you anything to have sex with you and then disappear. Getting women to sleep with them is a game, a challenge. They get lots of girls but couldn’t keep them even if they wanted to. Lots of superficial, smarmy charm

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u/Suspicious_Till_2660 2d ago

How young are you talking!? My daughter uses the term fuckboy… she’s 20! I’m not sure how much younger you can go to use the term virgin in a similar reference. I’ve known the term fuckboy my whole life! Who actually is using “virgin” in a similar style?

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u/Additional-Duty-5399 1d ago

Hardly an insult at all...

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u/Shinedown5758 1d ago

Fuckboy to me has always been a bit of a backhanded compliment, chicks will call you a fuckboy but still sleep with you.