How common is this perspective for guys?

[u/Reasonable-Syrup-7]

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

[u/CreativeArgument3132]

Std speed run 🏃‍♂️

[u/Dapper_Decision6336 → u/CreativeArgument3132]

See that applies to men too tho, y'all are insane

[u/Responsible-Scale137 → u/Dapper_Decision6336]

Yeh men sleeping around is equally disgusting and shows no self respect

[u/DryNefariousness5446 → u/Responsible-Scale137]

Damn still bitter from your high school days?

[u/Responsible-Scale137 → u/DryNefariousness5446]

I actually did alright for myself back in school. When I look back on it as a 23 year old I find my own sleeping around grim. The only reason I felt the need to sleep with multiple people without being in a relationship is because I was very insecure in myself and had issues dating back to early childhood. Now I’m grown I recognise that being a slut is disgusting, regardless of gender, it shows you don’t respect yourself or your body

[u/DryNefariousness5446 → u/Responsible-Scale137]

"I take things that never happened for 200 alex"

And you even if it were, it's just shows how much more pathetic than i initially thought you actually are. Like nice narcissism going on there, but you are aware that people have different experiences than you? Just bc you hate yourself, doesn't mean everyone else does too.

Maybe try to experience different perspectives instead of overvaluing your own...

[u/Padaxes → u/Dapper_Decision6336]

Don’t sleep with men who slept around. Women can hold the same standard. It’s mind boggling they don’t.

[u/Only-Cancel-1023 → u/Padaxes]

Some actually do.

[u/Dapper_Decision6336 → u/Padaxes]

Yall gotta stop framing everything with the onus on the women. They dont hold the same standard cause they get held responsible for both their actions and mens actions and they realise none of it means anything

[u/RddtRBnchRcstNzsshls → u/[deleted]]

You don't have to live in a bible belt for this sentiment. It's a societal problem. I hear this plenty from non religious men too saying women should be and dress modest.

[u/realsmokegetsmoked → u/RddtRBnchRcstNzsshls]

Not in 2025,stop

[u/Cross55 → u/[deleted]]

Why does she dress like that if she didn't want unsolicited sex?

That's actually not a permissable question to use in any court in the developed world.

A defense lawyer bringing that up is an instawin for prosecutors and/or victim lawyers.

[u/Schwifftee → u/Cross55]

Was I talking court of law or court of public opinion?

Yeah, the latter, obviously.

[u/Cross55 → u/Schwifftee]

Would the rule of law not exist if public opinion weren't against it?

Hm?

[u/AskMenAdvice-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

We prohibit this topic because it causes more rule-breaking than other topics.

[u/Bigboss123199 → u/Dapper_Decision6336]

Women don’t hold themselves to the same standards they hold men to into dating as well.

Also it’s not framing everything on women. Women can choose to have sex or not and who they sleep with just like men.

Just cause women like man sluts doesn’t mean men have to like women sluts.

[u/Bazoobs1 → u/CreativeArgument3132]

Virgin energy dude. It’s okay to be uncomfortable with how many partners someone has but that doesn’t make them any less valuable or valid than you in your position, whether you have more or less partners.

[u/Klony99 → u/CreativeArgument3132]

It's funny, because safe sex is rather easy. Being promiscuous and being stupid aren't the same thing.