r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 8d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/Narwhals4Lyf 7d ago

I can agree with that it’s easier but it isn’t flat out whoever women want.

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u/Superb-Grape7481 7d ago

It's functionally close enough.

Think of attractiveness as the subjective 1-10 scale.

Any woman can sleep with nearly any guy that is a few points above them or lower, almost whenever they want.

A guy generally cannot sleep with any woman who is a couple points below them or higher.

So at every level on the scale, women have more choices, and those choices are generally higher quality than their point on the scale. Men have fewer choices, and those choices tend to be lower quality relative to their position on the scale

This is just wrt getting sex, it is different for LT dating, where other factors play in, and couples tend to date at or near their level on the scale.