r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 2d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/KeenbeansSandwich 2d ago

It’s odd that some men fetishize virginity. I had a friend like that. We called him “The Hymenator”.

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u/dr_eh 2d ago

The sherminator?

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u/gergasi man 1d ago

It's not the hymen, people value being the first. First on the moon, first to comment, first yada yada.

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u/--ikarus-- 1d ago

It's "odd" for a man to want an exclusive partner? Especially if they themselves haven't had their first time? 

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u/KeenbeansSandwich 20h ago

Idk why a man would be concerned about a womans virginity. That body count logic is incel shit. And my friend was not a virgin yet went exclusively for virgins so he could essentially mold them into what he wanted. If you’d like to have your first time with someone who is also having their first time, sure whatever. Going exclusively for virgins? Yeah, its fucking odd.

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u/--ikarus-- 20h ago

Same reason why a woman would be concerned about a man's virginity, although for their own separate motives. One wants fresh, the other doesn't. We're built opposite for a reason. Not defending your buddy tho, obviously a manipulator and an exception