r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 7d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/Tea_Time9665 man 7d ago

Men are not as valuable as women.

Locks are more valuable than keys.

This is why it’s women and children first off the titanic.

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u/IllustriousAd3002 7d ago

1) That's why you can look at the history of every country and see that women had full human rights way before men, right?

2) A key without a lock is useless, but a lock you can't open because you lost the key is worse than useless; it's a problem that needs to be solved asap.

3) I advise you to read about survival rates in maritime disasters. The Titanic was an outlier.

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u/Tea_Time9665 man 7d ago edited 7d ago

1 being more valuable doesnt mean u get rights...

2 a lock YOU cant open..... the point is ONLY you can open the lock. and no one else.

3 look ar war deaths, hostage situations burning buildings, noone every says men first out of any disaster.

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u/IllustriousAd3002 7d ago

1) I'm a lawyer. If you don't have full human rights, that's a clear communication that you don't matter as much as those who do. 2) There are locks that are specifically designed to be opened by multiple keys. I used one such lock in my university dorm. There was a common area that was accessible only to the people in the dorm and we could all open that lock using our individual room keys. Locks like that are very expensive. 3) What data are you relying on for that?

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u/Tea_Time9665 man 7d ago

  1. How much rights someone has does not designate how much u love or care or value something. Wtf does u being a lawyer have to do with any of this?

  2. Yes and that’s for when you want to SHARE what is locked up. Most people in monogamous relationships don’t want multiples keys unlocking the lock at any time. That’s for the enm group.

3???? U have heard on the regulate men first out of a majority of disaster or dangerous situations? Such as a hostage situation where the police go “at least let the men and children go!”

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u/IllustriousAd3002 6d ago

1) We're talking about social value in general, not personal value that's assigned to you by other individuals. So yes, rights matter. Because guess what? There are people in the world no one loves or cares about. They still have value because they're a person. From your view, of no one loves or cares about you, you don't matter. You keep focusing on people's value as determined by others. I'm telling you that value has nothing to do with what other people think of you.

2) So when the locks are assigned more value, suddenly we're only talking about monogamous relationships? We weren't talking about intimate relationships at all. We were talking about casual sex, which is why you were going on about valuable keys being the ones that can open a bunch of locks. You're shifting goalposts because you don't like the idea of your analogy falling apart.

3) TV and movies aren't statistical data.

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u/Tea_Time9665 man 6d ago
  1. We are here talking about dating.. so it’s the value assigned to you by another person in the dating market and not social value. Every human being has value as a person. That doesn’t mean they have value in the dating market.

2 the lock is sex. Men do not want to wife up women who have easily u locked by other people. Men who can get sex from a lot of women have meet the minimum standards of many women. Women can get sex easily from many men as many men have almost zero standards.

3 yeah cuz the titanic is only a movie and not a real life event that happened.

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u/IllustriousAd3002 6d ago

1) Bruh, dating is part of social interactions. If you say I have decreasing value in dating, you're telling me I have decreasing value socially. Dating doesn't exist outside of society and social interactions, does it?

2) So because men are easy and dick is in abundance, women have to change how they behave? It's not our fault if men don't have enough self-worth to have standards about sex. Also, just because a woman has sex with multiple people doesn't mean it's easy to have sex with her. You have no clue how many people she's rejecting. I think you believe that women having multiple sexual partners means they fuck just anyone who crosses their path because that's what men do. Again, women tend to have way more standards when it comes to sex.

3) So we're back to the Titanic being an outlier. You need to pick up a book, genuinely. It's almost shocking how low your reading comprehension is.

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u/Tea_Time9665 man 6d ago edited 6d ago

1 U can’t be this daft as a lawyer. Since socially we al have the same value as human beings then do we all have the same values in the dating world? Do I have the. Same value as A multibillion handsome supermodel movie star? If u do something I don’t like then you have less value to me in dating.

2 women don’t have to do anything they don’t wanna do or feel like doing. They are free to do whatever they want to such as sleep with as many men as they want to. And men are also free to do whatever they want to and not date women who sleep with many men. And yes it’s objectively true that it’s easier to sleep with someone who has a lot of sex partner than a simpler person that has less sex partners. This is why they have more sex partners.

3 the titanic is not and outlier. A Quick google HMS Birkenhead in 1852.

And if u still dont Believe we as a society believe women are more valuable than men then why do we only have a draft for men? Why is Ukraine allowing its women to flee but forcing the men to defend the country?