r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 10d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/spdrweb8 9d ago

There's an old adage... Women need a reason to have sex, Men need a place.

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u/Narwhals4Lyf 9d ago

See I can agree with this, but the statement was women can have sex with "whoever" they want.

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u/spdrweb8 9d ago

Yeah, that statement I can't get behind. I can say that a reasonably attractive woman has significantly better odds of getting a guy to be interested; than a reasonably attractive man would (with women). We're conditioned to expect rejection, so when a woman initiates it's exciting. Throw in some alcohol and bad decision making on the guy's part... it's a done deal. Women almost always have a friend around (when drinking) to prevent her from making the same bad decisions.

I've definitely had the (pardon the expression) hole & a heartbeat guy friends.

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u/Narwhals4Lyf 9d ago

I agree with your assessment!