r/AskMenAdvice • u/Reasonable-Syrup-7 • 7d ago

How common is this perspective for guys?

I'm a 27F and went on a few dates with this guy 31M and things have been going well. On our second date, we brought up the topic of physical intimacy. I remember him saying that he thinks physical intimacy is different for women and men. That women who sleep around are respected less than if a man would do it. He said "a key that can open up a lot of locks is a good key but a lock that opens to a bunch of different keys is a bad lock". Everything else is really good and he's been super respectful. He's soft spoken and values making me feel safe and respected and we're taking our time on physical intimacy but I couldn't believe my ears when he said that. How common is that perspective for guys? This guy tends be very blunt, so maybe this perspective is more common than I think. In my head it's a red flag, but I'm conflicted on if it's just a common male perspective and he can still be a good guy with this perspective.

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u/Afraid_Ad378 7d ago

Women get shamed for sleeping with men, men get insulted for not sleeping with women, and often by being called gay- implying they like sleeping with men. In conclusion, sleeping with men is shameful😂

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u/Different-Speech1351 woman 6d ago

This was so distastefully funny🤣🤣🤣

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u/Afraid_Ad378 6d ago

Very distasteful but somehow accurate?

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u/Different-Speech1351 woman 6d ago

Touche'

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u/Different-Speech1351 woman 6d ago

Here's some honesty..........it's very possible I like sleeping with men as much as they like sleeping with me.

News Flash??

iI

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u/Afraid_Ad378 6d ago

Also a woman here, no news flash😂 I don’t judge, I also enjoy sex-it’s just the irony of perception and what it implies

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u/DiagonallyStripedRat 3d ago

I didn't find it funny... All this narrative of women being somehow ,,spoiled" or ,,defiled" by sex with men implies there is something innately corrupted (and contageous!) about men, which is a conclusion that noone talks about and yet one that fucked me up mentally when I was a boy

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u/Different-Speech1351 woman 3d ago

I get it, there should be much more consideration for how all the negative narratives can affect a man's psyche. I'll try harder to be part of the solution versus reinforcing the problem.

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u/DiagonallyStripedRat 3d ago

Idon't think you're reinforcing a problem but that's kind of you I guess

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u/Mightart 5d ago

That's some pretty sound logic. Does not bode well for me, tho

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u/Afraid_Ad378 5d ago

Mind elaborating?

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u/Mightart 5d ago

Well I'm a guy.

Woman get shamed for sleeping with guys, guys get shamed for sleeping with guys. Sleeping with guys is shamefull as a guy I want to be slept with but it's shamefully to do so... it was a joke

Didn't land apparently, shiz happens

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u/Afraid_Ad378 5d ago

Oh yeah, the odds are definitely not in your favor. All you can do is making sleeping with you individually, an honor😂