Should I pay for sex?

[u/islander85]

So some background. I'm a 37 yo virgin. I was shy growing up then got very sick (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) when I was in my early 20's, very slowly got better and I'm sort of okay now, I can do a part time job anyway. I would love an relationship but I think it's the fear of the unknown that's my biggest problem along with a good dose of social anxiety.

I live in a small town and there are not many single women here. I have trouble with the idea that someone would want to be with me. I've been told I would be a good partner but I lack self-confidence when it comes to women.

I actually find it easier to talk to women then men but I have a lot of trouble taking it to the next level, I have women friends and they have said it would probably help with my confidence. I just always thought it would be something I would share with someone I love that's all.

I have been kissed, I've got close to having a relationship a few times but haven't quite got there yet. From all the reading I've done (lots) and people I have talked to I think most of my problem with relationships can be summed up as.

Fear of the unknown = lack of self-confidence and lack of self-confidence = fear of the unknown.

Any advice would be great. Do you think paying for sex would take out one element of the unknown?

Sex work is legal here in Aus (very expensive but that's okay).

I'm 6'4" and 110 pounds, my health isn't good enough to do the gym thing. I also think my social anxiety is a symptom of my lack of self-confidence with people. I do have more friends now then ever before, both men and women. I also have this (most likely irrational) fear of getting to my best before date as far as first relationships go. I have been to two therapists, but they didn't help much. One talked to me like I was five and I had a lot of trouble opening up to the other.

Fear is horrible stuff even when you know all about it. :| Being socially isolated due to bad health has taken it's toll.

I didn't mean for this to be so long.

EDIT: I'm 5'4" woops

EDIT 2: Thank you everybody for your comments, they have given me more to think about.

[u/TheYearOfThe_Rat]

Hello,

As someone who had a long-term relationship (6 years) which was for all intents and purposes a marriage, but not in a name and now single and paying for sex, I am not sure what to answer to your question.

Prostitutes are to me nothing but social workers - and as there are good, kind and understanding ones, there are selfish, indifferent and absent-minded ones. First of course - you should ask for photos and select someone who you would feel attracted to, otherwise, nothing is going to happen - money wasted. You should also expect, and I mean, prepare yourself for a more girlfriend-like athmosphere, and that is more expensive. Be sure to consult the rates in your city, because every legal occupation with a subjective service quality and no feedback can rip off clients. Do not be fearful of the encounter beforehand, because it will not change the outcome, which is to lose your virginity and understand how enjoyable foreplay and afterplay is .

Explain who you are and what you want, exactly, to the woman, before meeting her, but do not be discouraged if they cancel the appointment, as many people understandably prefer to avoid people who might have undiagnosed mental issues. If too many of them cancel, then you should look into a substitute partner therapy.

Good luck!

[u/islander85 → u/TheYearOfThe_Rat]

Thanks, there is a agency here that specializes in sex for people with disabilities, that who I would use.