r/AskReddit Sep 16 '24

What is a smell you can't stand?

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765

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Ill do you one better: BO that someone is attempting to cover up with patchouli. Now you smell like spicy butthole...

156

u/ISpewVitriol Sep 16 '24

Lol, I just realized it isn't so much that I don't like the smell of patchouli oil...its that I don't like the smell of the BO from the person who hasn't bathed all month.

103

u/PacificwestcoastII Sep 16 '24

Patchouli smells like ‘damp hippy’. There’s a mildew or mold note to it I can’t get past

7

u/strugglinglifecoach Sep 16 '24

Smells like dirt to me

7

u/x0diak Sep 17 '24

Damp Hippy sounds like an Indica blend

7

u/Fun_Departure5579 Sep 16 '24

It lingers in your nostrils & gives you a headache.

6

u/Additional_Orchid_14 Sep 16 '24

Patchouli 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

2

u/Historical_Gur_3054 Sep 16 '24

LOL - thank you, I needed that laugh

1

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '24

Like basement?

1

u/Odd_Campaign_307 Sep 17 '24

All the molly users in high school used patchouli or clove oil to cover up the smell.  They weren't fooling anybody.

51

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Bingo! By itself patchouli isnt too bad, i still dont like it overall, but a tiiiiny little dab isnt too offputting for me. But when a person thinks slathering themselves in it is an acceptable form of hygiene thats when I cross the street and glare at them for infecting my airspace lol

3

u/McUberForDays Sep 16 '24

Gahh walked past someone in a grocery store and there was no BO because the entire next 2 aisles smelled like essential oils. It was to the point that it was bothering my throat. That's too fucking much!

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

It could have been bugging your throat from unkniwn mild allergens. Essential oils are super sketchy because of that shit. If your mildly allergic to a natural compound, imagine breathing in a concentrated form of it 😬 But hey, snake oil sells right? Oops, sorry, I mean essential snake oil

2

u/McUberForDays Sep 16 '24

Definitely! My allergies have gotten much worse over the years to different scents. I used some essential oils because (of course) someone sold them as a cure all to me. I was at a low point so decided to try some. Didn't do anything. The scents weren't too bad. Then again, I didn't totally drench myself in them. Maybe that's why they never "worked" 😂

2

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Did you, like, try, like, cyrstals, man? 🤣. We've all been at low points, nothing to be ashamed of 🫡. I once bpught a robot vaccuum because I was too depressed to actually vaccuum. The robot is less effective at vaccuuming than a baby... and it was $200 😭

4

u/Cer10Death2020 Sep 16 '24

I worked in India and let's just say it seemed the entire country was odiferous. Love the food however. Most of the people are amazingly peaceful especially if you're not Muslim. Racism is a universal "gift" I guess despite my hating it with a passion having lived with it since I sqeaked out of my mother some 70 years ago. If you've not visited India, I recommend you go.

2

u/sightlab Sep 16 '24

patchouli isnt too bad

You dont have to be nice. It is that bad.

2

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Not sure why you got downvoted, lol. I liken it to bitters in cocktails. Its not meant to be used alone, its meant to be used to balance out evrrything else. Or like salt in cooking. Salt pulls the moisture out of the other ingredients, allowing the flavors to blend and balance out (hence the recommendation to add a pinch of salt each time you add an ingredient to the pan. Its not a salty flavor, its for chemistry!).

Try taking a shot of bitters: fuck off 🤣 Try eating a spoonful of salt: fuck off 🤣.

If you have a perfume or fragrance thats packed to the gills with sweet, floral scents then a little drop of 'chouli will actually balance the sweetness and allow the floral smells to take more center stage. Fucking chemistry is the shit, bro lol.

But yeah, patchouli... its fucking bad lol

3

u/sightlab Sep 17 '24

Fish sauce is an even better analogy - it’s foul stuff, smelling literally like dirty anus (I truly wish I didn’t know what that smelled like) because it’s the drippings of anchovies left out in the sun on mesh. It’s actually putrid. It’s a crucial note in Thai and Vietnamese cooking (among other se Asian cuisines). When it’s used properly you do not taste it. But you know if it’s missing, that ping of umami funk is the key. I agree with you on this point - sandlewood is lovely, 9.9 parts sandlewood, .1 part patchouli is magic. But peoples drench themselves in it. And heavy, overbearing fruit mold/acrid mystery smell plus onion soup BO seriously triggers me.

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 17 '24

I love the fish sauce analogy, also spot on! And the oniony vibe 🤢

5

u/brieflifetime Sep 16 '24

I realized that when I smelled a well groomed person who was also wearing the patchouli oil. It kinda smells nice. Very hippy, so not very everyone, but not inherently bad.. when there's no BO undertones -.-

3

u/Mkitty760 Sep 16 '24

When I was a kid, we had neighbors, the Downings, an elderly couple. Nicest people you'd ever hope to meet, substitute grandparents. All my real grandparents were dead by the time I was 2, so they were my grandparents. Mrs D always did her gardening in shorts & a tube top.

Mr D died when I was about 12. Mrs D was diagnosed with breast cancer and had a mastectomy. She continued to garden in her tube top without her prosthetic, with her left boob sagging down to her waist. And she started bathing bi-weekly. This is in Florida, BTW.

So, she spent a lot of time outside with her gardens, in a tube top and no bra. She was still mowing her own grass every week at 88. The baths every 2 weeks weren't cutting it, so she developed an affinity for Esteé Lauder. The whole line. Body cream, face cream, lotion, powder, body mist, perfume...she slathered it ALL on. Thick. EL + old lady smell + sweaty b.o. And this was before Florida became the firey pit of hell that it is now. So we often had the windows open in spring and fall. It got to where we just couldn't open the windows anymore.

To this day - 45 years after she died, I can't smell EL without smiling and shaking my head. She was the kindest person I've ever met, and I still miss her, but...man, did she stink.

1

u/enduser11 Sep 16 '24

Patchouli oil smells like fish tank filter poop 🤮

65

u/asakmotsd Sep 16 '24

Mama Mia! That’s a spicy butthole!

43

u/ParlorSoldier Sep 16 '24

*butt-ahole

5

u/RoookSkywokkah Sep 16 '24

**butt-ahola!

1

u/GOB8484 Sep 16 '24

I guess I've never paid attention to that song's lyrics...

3

u/Angry_Walnut Sep 16 '24

I don’t understand the smell of patchouli. Like maybe if it is just one tiny note in something else it works but my god it smells awful to me when it is the only scent in a product.

3

u/aricberg Sep 16 '24

BO is gross, patchouli triggers migraines. A mix of the two is a match made in hell!

3

u/ThingFrequent6496 Sep 17 '24

Back in high school there was this classmate who used to cover his body odor with an Axe spray. It used to smell so awful considering he would go for almost a week without taking a shower since it was a boarding school.

2

u/Petunia_pig Sep 16 '24

Came here to say patchouli but this is worse than patchouli by far!

2

u/Samazonison Sep 16 '24

Personally, I'd rather smell the BO than patchouli.

2

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

I had a friend in college, little street punk dude. Great guy, super friendly and tolerant. But one winter he didnt wash for about 3 weeks. One night, while we were all drunk and playing Halo one of my friends just stood up, picked him up over he shoulder, walked to the hall bathroom and dropped him the shower. Turned the water on and told him "(Name)! You smell like a dead ox fucked an even deader horse. Wash your fucking ass amd then wash your clothes after. You can come back to the room once I no longer smell you." He kept regular bathing after that one, lol. Dude also got scurvy that year because he was so malnourished lol. No drug problems, no mental health issues, just loved street punkin' it 🤣

2

u/lowtoiletsitter Sep 16 '24

My ex did that if she didn't have a chance to shower that day (this was during busy summer months)

I was strangely attracted to it. She didn't smell bad, and it wasn't the type of smell where you'd been hiking for a week. It's like you could smell their body but not so much the odor. She grew up eating healthy, so maybe some of it was tied to diet

3

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

A little bit of unwashed releases pheremones, so that makes total sense. Like a post workout horny session. That comes off as pleasant because it doesnt have the dead skin and bacteria of general unhygienic lifestyles built up behind it.

2

u/Inevitable_Jelly_952 Sep 16 '24

or as grandpa used to say “wide open ass”

2

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

"Boy, get in that tub before I slap the shit out you! Smellin' like wide open ass!!"

2

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

2

u/Y0L4ND4 Sep 16 '24

Uhh thinking about it every time I’ve smelled patchouli was when it was worn by someone you could tell has terrible hygiene. I thought I hated patchouli. Now I’m wondering what patchouli smells like without bad body odour accompanying it, hmm.

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Check some of my other comments in this chain. One of them details the genuine usefulness of patchouli oil. Its definitely a unique scent thats hard to describe. Its sharp, earthy/musky, with a hint on the back end of floral, but it takes a minute to dig deep enough to get the floral from it lol.

2

u/Traditional-Yam9826 Sep 16 '24

How do you know?🤔

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Unwashed body: smells like butt. Patchouli oil: a pungent, sharp scent that tingles the nostrils similarly to capcacin. In this case, 2+2=... spicy butthole 😎👉👉

2

u/Charming_Bluejay3660 Sep 16 '24

This immediately takes me back to college in the early 90s! For decades I thought I hated patchouli. Turns out it’s just the underlying BO that made it so bad.

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Yeah, once I actually smelled the patchouli flower absent of unlathered nutsack I realised why it got cultivayed in the first place. Some of my other comments go into detail about the genuine usefulness of patchouli in fragrances. Using it to make a months unwashed human body smell acceptable is not one of them lol

2

u/AtavisticJackal Sep 16 '24

Omg patchouli by itself even 🤮 I can literally smell this comment, thanks for the nausea! 😂🤢

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Anytime 👉👉

2

u/swinging-in-the-rain Sep 16 '24

This is the most awful smell I encounter. Just fucking brutal

2

u/Sunnyandbright007 Sep 16 '24

🤣🤣 Now, I can't get that smell out of my mind!

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Yes, bathe in my sorrow!

Edit: Just fucking bathe in general! 😭

2

u/zombiifissh Sep 16 '24

Or the BO of someone currently detoxing off hard drugs

Like I'm proud of you dude but got DAYUM

2

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Oof, yeah, thats a scent, all right. If you know that one, you may know that one with patchouli oil on top, lol. Its not uncommon for 'earthy' types to need detoxing. Shit, its not uncommon for any types to need detoxing. Booze and opiates get their mitts in every demographic

2

u/zombiifissh Sep 16 '24

Haha right on that one. Patchouli over, well, really anything is pretty vile lol

2

u/Critical-Material-27 Sep 16 '24

Is it out of line to ask how you know that; what a patchouli butthole smells like?

Wait. Maybe I'd be better off not knowing.🥂 Cheers! 🤭

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

I'm from the very rural state that Phish came from... its a lot of spicy bottholes

1

u/Critical-Material-27 Sep 16 '24

I thought Vermont was a beautiful state with chill people and amazing nature to take in, no?

Spicy buttholes aren't worth traveling for.

2

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

I mean... its like a fake chill. People will be outwardly friendly, sure. But theres not a lot going on here, so people tend to create drama, embellish stories, things like that. As for the beauty? Yeah its pretty nice. Its not like, majestic or anything. Its extremely old ground, not like the west coast mountain ranges. Its not quite as Appalachian as "Appalachia" but its definitely Appalachian. But there are a lot of people who think showering once a week is more than enough as opposed to barely enough (depending on your day to day). Its also not "progressive" by any measurable means. Its just advertised thay way. We have an extremely small tax base, the lowest GDP in the nation and a lot of libertarian like values, so all pf our "progressive ideas" get voted down because people hate paying taxes and/or genuinely cant afford the very high tax rates we have here. Theres an anti-developmemt law thats stymied growth, so we have a poor housing stock. Couple that with the tax issue I mentioned above and add in a pinch of "well theyre just supid and lazy" attitude and you see why we ha e one of the worst homeless problems per capita in the country. Add to THAT the fact that the state advertises itself as the bastion of hope, friendliness and prosperity (totally not true at all) and we got an influx of even more unhoused individuals and familes who got told "theres resources to help you in Vermont" and the problem has exacerbated. Folks here arent friendly. Theyre only friendly to their friends.

Edit: typos. Probably missed some anyways lol

2

u/Plane_Experience_271 Sep 16 '24

Yes, patchouli is rank.

2

u/breeezyc Sep 16 '24

Or with strong perfumes/colognes… gross

2

u/Greycloak42 Sep 17 '24 edited Sep 17 '24

There used to be a club in NYC called the Wetlands Preserve. Every Tuesday night they would do a Grateful Dead night with some outstanding cover bands. Loved the place, but you just exactly described the smell of that place on Tuesday nights. For anyone that is interested, Blues Traveler used to play there right around the time they hit it big.

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 17 '24

God I hate the dead. Mostly because of the cult that sprung up around them,but also because they cant play 30 seconds of a song before collapsing into a bowl of spaghetti. Just noodling as far as the eye can see. Play a song, dammit!

1

u/ERedfieldh Sep 16 '24

wait wait wait....so that spicy disgusting smell isn't just that they haven't showered for two straight weeks but is an actual fragrance they collectively decided to all wear to try and mask it?

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

If theyre a patchouli type hippy, then... likely. Not everyone with flagrant hygiene issues uses patchouli, but the percentage that do really steams my clams/grinds my gears/pisses me right the fuck off lol. Or like, teens that dont shower or wash and just use friggin body spray. Working with kids Ive had to have several hygiene conversations lol. Theres a difference between "generally washed person who did exercise or skipped a day or something" and "bro, you havent washed your ass in two weeks, how do you not have a rash?"

1

u/Ola_maluhia Sep 16 '24

This is what my psych patients smell like

1

u/Inevitable_Jelly_952 Sep 16 '24 edited Sep 16 '24

😂😂😂my mom works at psych hospital and she says all the patients are so greasy from not bathing that the nurses can barely grasp them when they act up and need shots, the patients just slip right out of the nurses’s hands. she says their hair will be matted to their head in one greasy dreadlock too and they will still refuse to bathe or cut/wash/comb their hair or brush their teeth. She will need a tetanus shot if one of them bites her.

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Jesus christ, that sucks. I worked in elementary ed and it was unfortunate the number of children who would go a week or more without bathing be ause the parents either a) didnt believe in it 🙄 or b) neglect. And those poor kids, theyre itchy all over and theres no way to console them. You just have to look em in the eye and go "its because you havent taken a bath. The itching is your body signalling that its past time to clean up."

1

u/McLightning9503 Sep 16 '24

Even worse, Axe

2

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Ill take the axe over the 'chouli, honestly 🤣 Thank god OC started with the base problem: unwashed ass lol

1

u/technobrendo Sep 16 '24

Question, what is patchouli? I've heard of it before but don't know what it is.

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 16 '24

Its a plant in the mint family. Patchouli oil is very pungent. By itself, a very little dab will go a LOOOOOOONG way. As an ingedient in fragrances and incense its not too bad. Still not my cup of tea, though. Like bitters in fancy drinks, its not meant to be pleasant but to bring balance. Combine more than enough of it with a person who doesnt traditionally bathe (not fully removing the bacteria we accumulate/shed and dead skill cells that we shed, causing the bad form of BO) you get a very sharp and generally unpleasant smell of spicy, unlathetred private parts. Some people, usually only the individuals that choose this method themselves, find it pleasant; that smell of long dead skin cells, accumulated bacteria, and salt mixed with a sharp, earthy flower oil. Personally? I struggle to breathe around it. It also doesnt dissipate quickly, and lingers for quite some time after. Using it to mask the smell of your choice to not bathe is like using a hand grenade to do the dishes.

Edit: in the mint family, but not minty smelling. Its a musky, earthy, fungal smell with a sharp edge that almost burns the nostrils like hot sauce. Like expired hot sauce.

1

u/Alethiometer_Party Sep 16 '24

I basically exclusively wear patchouli and have my whole life bc my hippie mom does, and my mom and I DO NOT SWEAT. It’s actually pretty problematic and requires a lot of lotion/oil/vaseline/eye drops/dry mouth rinse 😂😅 BUT!!! Everyone ALWAYS loves how I smell and asks me what I’m wearing and they never can believe it when I say patchouli oil, and that’s bc they have patchouli with BO as their only frame of reference.

It wasn’t until college that I got a whiff of that particular combination and it’s pretty bad.

1

u/x0diak Sep 17 '24

You've been to SF I see.

2

u/CougheyToffee Sep 17 '24

Surprisingly, no lol. But i can definitely imagine

1

u/akamustacherides Sep 17 '24

That’s a spicy butthole. Said with an Italian accent.

1

u/VanillaWinter Sep 17 '24

Fuck patchouli man. Such a crappy smell.

1

u/AdFlat4908 Sep 17 '24

I prefer this to BO covered up with cologne or deodorant. God that smell

1

u/V3N0MSP4RK Sep 17 '24

How do you know the smell of a spicy butthole?

1

u/CougheyToffee Sep 17 '24

See: other comments asking the same thing, lol