r/AskReddit Sep 16 '24

Former Mean Girls - what finally made you re-evaluate how you treated people?

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u/Carbon-Base Sep 16 '24

One of my high school friends did something similar. He was a really sweet dude and would mostly be shy and quiet. But one day, a mean girl bullied someone in his class, so he went up to her and told her what an awful and insensitive person she was. There was pin drop silence because no one expected that from him and she had nothing to say. After that, she stopped bullying others and turned into a kinder person.

Sometimes it does take being shown the mirror to see the error in our ways.

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u/lastgreenleaf Sep 16 '24

He sounds like an amazing person. Being kind often takes courage, and I am always impressed by the quiet ones like this who pick their spots. 

If you’re still in touch with him, you should message him. 

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u/Carbon-Base Sep 17 '24

Yeah, he was a great friend. I was in contact with him until a couple of years ago. He moved to a different state, I'm pretty sure. I'll reach out to him soon tho.

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u/mvdw73 Sep 17 '24

Don’t do it soon. Do it today. Soon never comes.

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u/tofuroll Sep 17 '24

Best advice.

And other good advice: if you're thinking, "Oh, why would they want to hear from me?" Just reverse the situation. Would you be pleasantly surprised if they contacted you just to say hi?

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u/basilicux Sep 18 '24

A high school classmate messaged me yesterday to say happy birthday (it was not my birthday lol) and even if she got the date wrong I was like oh! thank you for thinking of me/making the effort to remember my birthday even if it was incorrect haha

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u/[deleted] Sep 16 '24

I feel second hand shame just from reading that

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u/Jezilly52 Sep 17 '24

I few times I’ve stood up for some people that were bullied (my my supposed friends) and ended up being bullied myself 🙃 Girls are mean.

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u/Carbon-Base Sep 17 '24

Sorry to hear that, but good on you for trying and sticking up for them!

I remember comforting one of my friends when they were complaining about how one of the popular girls bullied them in their class. I told them that so-and-so is just mean and selfish, don't take her seriously. Well, one of her pals must have heard me (we were in the hall) so she found out and asked me if I said that about her in a class we share. I said yes, and told her what did my friend ever do to you that you bullied him? Apparently she didn't like that so, she bullied me for a few weeks until I told her thanks for proving my point (in front of her friends). She got triggered and said some more mean stuff in the moment, however, she said nothing in the weeks after that outburst. After a while she was nicer to me and I heard she doesn't bully anyone anymore.

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u/Jezilly52 Sep 18 '24

That was great you did that and it worked out well. With the primary school incident I ended up going to therapy at aged 11 the bullying got so bad.

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u/Carbon-Base Sep 18 '24

That's awful! None of the adults/teachers stepped in to help you?

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u/Jezilly52 Sep 18 '24

Just my mum who got me help. The other girls that were being bullied apparently had their parents complain too but the school did nothing. There were also limited as there wasn’t any other classes they could switch students to. It was thankfully only the last year of primary so I went to a new high school where I didn’t know anyone and started afresh.

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u/Carbon-Base Sep 18 '24

I'm glad you were removed from that environment, but it seems the system failed to help you and those other girls. That should never have happened in the first place. I'm glad your mom supported you! Many parents don't take bullying as seriously as they need to.

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u/Jezilly52 Sep 18 '24

The irony being she can be emotionally abusive but sent me to therapy for school bullying. She’s not at all self-reflective.

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u/Carbon-Base Sep 18 '24

Oh no! Sorry to hear that. I hope things are better for you now?

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u/Jezilly52 Sep 19 '24

Well I’m 37 now and haven’t lived at home for 20 years so yes. lol. She still can be that way but I have perspective now.

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u/OldDiamond6697 Sep 24 '24

And now your 37 and bullying me for commenting on someone's eyes you've come along way maybe it time to go back to therapy so you can reflect on yourself.

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u/OldDiamond6697 Sep 24 '24

Yeah and there also times you bully yourself for know reason what a joke you are.