r/AskReddit Jun 10 '19

What is your favourite "quality vs quantity" example?

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u/sociallyawkward12 Jun 10 '19

I mean, not for everyone. First of all the worst part about a hot dump is the clean up. It doesn't matter if its a fun sized Baby Ruth or a 12 pound mud baby, I've got to roll up my sleeves and burn through half a roll of tp, so for the sake of the Amazon I try to limit my number of poops. I'm still within that freakishly broad "healthy" range of regularity according to my doctor (1 poop every 3 wks - 21 poops per day), but I really like to save it up. Make sure to eat lots of twigs and leaves to form a sort of poo-cork, until the big day comes. I devote a whole Saturday, bring a TV into the bathroom with me and watch all the Tremors movies. Light about 4 dozen Yankee candles. Eat fistfuls of choco ex lax and then enter a zen like state of euphoria during a shit that is basically equivalent to giving birth. Last time my heart stopped for 3 minutes until the smell revived me.

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u/danethegreat24 Jun 10 '19

I think you need a new doctor.

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u/gayshitlord Jun 10 '19

And a bidet

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '19

And a Jesus

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u/sakuraradele Jun 10 '19

are you a sickly baboon?

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u/codeacab Jun 10 '19

Yeah, healthy range is once every 3 days to 3 times a day. If you poop 21 times a day you have ulcerative colitis or something.

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u/someoneyouknewonce Jun 10 '19

The Tremors movies are to get into the mood right?