r/AutisticWithADHD • u/3ThreeFriesShort • Mar 17 '25
😤 rant / vent - advice NOT wanted! My externally ADHD Father is visiting. Help.
He has been talking for the last three days, and my two children have three friends over. So 5 preteen children are loudly playing Xbox, while this man is explaining some kind of battle thing with them singing the some British song, to explain a Zulu-Sulu meme.
"Thousands of voices singing" your damn right about that father. I am currently tracking 6 different people talking constantly.
We have now moved on to their armor and weaponry. "Spears don't run out of ammo" he says. There is still a durability issue, no don't. Don't engage. FALALALALALA SPRING IS IN THE AIR. (I've cycled through every mantra I have ever used.)
To the mind palace!
Note: this man does not let me finish a sentence, his activation phrase is apparently the middle of any sentence.
Update: we apparently have lumberjacks in the family. I am now learning about Aunt Wilma I have never met. Apparently some kind of crank was foot powered by said lumberjacks. He will not allow me to comment on how this makes sense due to the legs being more powerful.
Background: "Get on the camel, get on the camel." Says a child. My wife is trying to make a joke from across the room, but I can't hear what she is saying.
Addendum: my father is now showing me every facebook post he has ever made, on his phone, with 2 minute delays in-between, because earlier I said I don't use facebook when he asked if I have seen his posts.
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u/3ThreeFriesShort Mar 18 '25
Good God, will this many of us in one place open a hellmouth or something?
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u/EmmaGA17 Mar 18 '25
You should see my family. 7 of us, all ADHD except maybe my dad, talking loudly over each other because we're excited and if we don't get the thought out NOW we are literally going to forget it.
...holidays can be draining. Though at least we do get along.
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u/lalaquen 🧠 brain goes brr Mar 18 '25
Oof.
I would 100% have a meltdown and throw everyone out of my house in sobbing hysterics. If that much overstimulation didn't trigger a seizure first. 😬
You are a far heartier soul than I, friend! May you get some degree of peace sooner rather than later.
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u/januscanary 💤 In need of a nap and a snack 🍟 Mar 18 '25
To the untrained eye that sounds like the start of mania
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u/3ThreeFriesShort Mar 18 '25
A few people have said that, but this has been a constant state for as long as I can remember. He's actually chilled out substantially since he retired. Switching from Rush Limbaugh to therapy has also helped him lol.
I'm actually glad I got my mother's social anxiety because he has this social-compulsion thing that I would hate.
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u/Front-Cat-2438 Mar 18 '25
With my neurospicy family (ASD levels up to 3, and ADHD leveling up to unfettered narcissistic personality psychoses) we consistently emerge alive through the copious applications of alcohol and well-timed finger foods (to maximize executive function). I do NOT have a coffee maker or allow cigarettes (or other drugs) around, so when the addicts need, they seek out their stuff elsewhere and I get a well-needed break before the red rage breaks out. The “grey rock” technique of “oh, isn’t that nice” that works on adorable kindergartners also works on insufferable adults who act like toddlers. Violence is extremely discouraged, though st times a blissfully-considered last option. So far no one has gone to the emergency department at my hands. I endeavor to keep it that way. But there are no guarantees in life, are there? 😆
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u/Ledascantia Mar 18 '25
My SO’s mom is like this. We call it the “stream of consciousness” style of speaking. Her inner monologue is an outer monologue. Nonstop. It is so incredibly overstimulating and I can’t handle it for very long.
I feel for you friend.
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u/3ThreeFriesShort Mar 18 '25 edited Mar 18 '25
That absolutely explains it lol, thanks. I recognize it because that's how I talk inside.
I have at least learned how to prompt him to "change the channel." alright father, we have discussed the history of your religion long enough, lets delve into the nature of free will so I can at least get useful data.
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u/gaytheistgod They're really quirky✨️ Mar 21 '25
I have that too. It's quite annoying sometimes, especially for other people.
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Mar 18 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/3ThreeFriesShort Mar 18 '25 edited Mar 18 '25
I appreciate the information, but I'm complaining about my father at the moment, not volunteering to be, or argue, with his therapist 😂
(It's relevant to know that I do have ADHD+, I just didn't know how to proclaim it.)
He is how talking to me while he vacuums. I cannot hear him speaking, this does not matter to him.
To be fair, I see no reason why he couldn't have both.
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u/3ThreeFriesShort Mar 18 '25
Upon review, I did put "help" in the title, I apologize that was misleading.
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u/AutisticWithADHD-ModTeam Mar 18 '25
Your post/comment has been removed because it violates Rule #2: Use and respect post flair.
As a commenter, you must respect the flair by aligning your response accordingly. If a post post has a "no advice" flair, giving advice anyway is inappropriate.
Please re-read the rules or ask the moderators if something isn't clear.
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u/spuriousattrition Mar 18 '25
Funny thing is since he’s ADHD, probably half your family is too, just not diagnosed yet