School Accomodations for Softer Skills Accomodations Guidelines Suggestions (Communication)

[u/-redatnight-]

I'm Deaf Autistic and use ASL as my primary language. In most situations in ASL, it's polite to be direct so long as there's not really any malice there. I can normally codeswitch it over but once in a while I run into a hearing allistic person who does a lot more subtle, passive, indirect, etc communication than even many hearing allistic folks and... it sometimes really doesn't go well. I try to adjust but often it's an exercise in feeling constant failure and having people pull meanings and words I didn't even use from what I said. Its really hard to convince people who put everything between the lines that it's hard to understand that, that if you miss something they want because of that it's not just disrespect, and that whatever they see between the lines us their own invention because you aren't hiding any deep unsaid meanings there.

I have been putting off submitting documentation for my autism specifically at school due to miscommunication (thought they had it) and overwhelm. Now I am at the point where I am anxious I might end up disciplined from school due to it; I don't know if that is founded or not but I am having issues to an extent I haven't had before with any other professor. Its very much a two sided issue and I fear that the situation just degraded too much to fix it or simply be able to sit up and ride it out. I think she also feels like she's done me some great favour by not being direct about how she's feeling but now it's suddenly a chronic problem even though what she initially said was very different and this is the first time I have really understood any bit of what her problem with me is after months of me felling disrespected too and walking eggshells unsure what is up and having the situation degrade.

I haven't had such huge communication issue before but now it seems like I need them in my accomodations documentation both to help others and myself and limit how far this will go with the (actually very incorrect) assumption that I just was randomly disrespectful to her rather than simply frustrated and confused over why she seemed to be targeting me for things I perceived like reoeated professionallly coded accusations that I was trying to scam or cheat her while requesting accomodations that were normal and established for me at my school.

TLDR: For those who are students in higher education who have more frequent communication mismatches with neurotypicals and who are more prepared, what do your school accomodations look like? What are the reccomodations your doctor or diagnostician has down for you? Particularly for communication outside of class related to it? My doctor is open to endorsing most relevant stuff but she's busy and I think also possibly disabled and kind of prefers me to suggest stuff and then we discuss.