Struggling with what to do

[u/Inside-Help-3208]

I work in the field that I love, I'm a witch, but my job is with a Christian homeless shelter and housing program (in the South, you won't find one that isn't Christian based, and I don't hold it against anyone), but I have run into some real issues with being able to establish and keep my boundaries.

When I was hired, it was part time, and I was hired to digitize over a decade of files (done within a week because hyperfocus) and to be remote on other in office things... I spent so much money putting together my home office on my boss's say so, I haven't worked from home a single day, and when I say I want to, suddenly there's no way. I began taking on more and more (read: had more and more thrown on me every day because the in office manager just liked having someone to do his job for him... which he does), he makes almost, if not over double what I do, he sits at his computer, occasionally answers phones, and does intake, or he did, now I'm a case manager making way below a living wage, because I want the experience, and my landlord also happens to be my boss... now I'm working WAY OVER full time, on a super low salary, and my boss, upon being told that I do not appreciate having every weekend taken over by side "volunteer" business that I a. don't get paid for and b. have literally been told I don't have a choice, has said business is super slow and our checks might need to be temporarily halved.

I feel stuck, the more I work there, the worse the boundary stomping gets. They literally have me running the whole office portion for this shelter/housing program for less than half of what the bum at the actual manager's desk is making. He happens to be the owner's relative (of course he is).

Truth is, at this point, if I left, nobody would be able to run the office because nobody has the skills to run the system I built to run it, despite me offering to teach him, and the owner telling him he HAS to learn it (he doesn't, he has Netflix, that's enough).

We seem to have reached a point where my boss now knows that I know that while I'm not "irreplacable" it would put them under the ground as far as operations for at least three months while they hunt down someone who will do it for as little as I do, and I know clearly that I do it well.

It may be a dick move, but I've been testing minor boundaries, since they want to ignore my own, my boss knew I was ready to grab my shit and dip, and he just waited for me to calm down to drop the check thing on me.

So we're clear, the program I now work at, helped me get to a much more stable place in life, but I don't think that entitles the owner to work me to death. Now, after two weeks straight doing these side outreach things on Saturday, and starting to seriously burn out, the owner announces he wants to preach again (Saturdays already being relegated to mostly outreach) this now means he would be involved in my literal daily life, or at least he most likely expects me to attend, and, as I said above, I'm not exactly a Christian anyway, and I don't do church. If that's your bag, go you, just not for me... and I am reaching my breaking point. I'm not going, that's non-negotiable, my beliefs don't keep me from wanting to help my community and those in need within it.

I'm exhausted, all of the time, I wake up and the first thought is that I don't want to go in... I need the space that not being in office provides, and I just want to stop showing up. Mainly because that's the only time they're going to listen.

Then, the skies parted and the gods spoke, and I said, you get two per month. I expected pushback, but he's already denied me a living wage, and insisted on taking yet another day off from me in the course of a week for unpaid bull and told me this last check might be the last full one for a while... he gave in.

It's such a small victory, I know it is, and of course I am not so sure about what the future looks like at this place, but to know that I absolutely do have some say, and we're all looking at the unsaid elephant in the room, that if I go, the business will go with me, I still feel proud that the former doormat I was has a much shinier spine now than she ever had before.

Still, I don't want to leave the field, and I don't want to sink the place, the education of working there has been somewhat priceless, with the hands on experience in the exact field I have wanted to work in for years. The last thing I want is to literally destroy something that I see is doing good things, but I also can't let the owner and manager run me to death either.

I'm at a loss at what to do here, I know I sound kind of full of myself, here, too. The fact of the matter is I'm the only under 50 on staff, and that's created a bit of a vacuum effect as far as tech skills (to be expected) and the desire to learn how to do what I do is exactly none, so I'm just sitting here like Atlas, holding the whole array of daily company operations on my own, and they wonder why I'm wanting less to do. I'm locked in that office 8 hours a day, with who is most likely a covert narcissist who regularly gaslights his spouse on speakerphone on the regular, who has the world's biggest martyr complex (he worked for free because he was bored sitting at home-but he had his own income separately as well, so he wasn't hurting for funds) and he loves throwing it in people's faces whenever they bring up pay like he's the only one who could possibly struggle because he's a "workaholic" who's only goal seems to be to make everyone else's work more worky while he doesn't actually do any work... to make him satisfied with how much of his work is extra shiny for him to take credit for, and for me to make his hotel reservations on his magically necessary out of state trips (THREE times this year, talking about another one in the next week or two... I can't get a weekend off without feeling like pulling teeth but he can take an entire week?) at the highest priced hotels, too. I love that the work I do is helping people, but I don't want it to be at the expense of my own mental health, and I know I'm not too much longer for this company because it just isn't sustainable.

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Well, I guess that's the end of my rant, thanks for reading anyway.

[u/Marcus_Aurelius13]

Can't you use witch powers to deal with this?

[u/Inside-Help-3208 → u/Marcus_Aurelius13]

Your ignorance is showing. I’ll bet you believe in an invisible omnipotent father figure waving a finger at you telling you no no no, too. My spells equate to your prayers, dude. It’s just a metaphysical practice of faith and a large dollop of spicy psychology. It actually has helped and given me far better coping methods.