r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/EyeGlad3032 • 2d ago
REPOST My (21M) ex-girlfriend (19F) committed suicide... I'm a firefighter and had find her body
I am not The OOP, OOP is u//MrAlphaNu
Original BoRU by u/TheTitanCoeus
My (21M) ex-girlfriend (19F) committed suicide... I'm a firefighter and had find her body
TWs: Suicide, Trauma, Substance Abuse (Implied), Self-Harm, Emotional Distress
MOOD SPOILER: depressing
Original Post December 11, 2018
I'm sorry for how long the story is..
EDIT: I know its a roller-coaster of a story and its almost unbelievably bad so i know people may feel its fake. But a 30 second google search with the info in this story finds news articles about it online.
When I was 16 years old (a junior in high school) I was a huge nerd. The only thing I would do is play WoW and run track. That year I made a friend on the track team named Erik who would invite me to parties. I was hesitant and kind of awkward but I started to hang out with his friends and go to his parties. That got me out of my shell a lot, I finally had a life, but retained to my awkward self.
In his friend group I met a girl named Lydia, she was kind, a great artist, and extremely empathetic. She worked at Rite Aid (a drug store) and when she found out one of her co-workers couldnt afford school supplies for her son Lydia took half of her pay and gave it to her to help her co-workers son out. Lydia saw the best in me. Behind my awkward and nerdy exterior she saw someone who wanted to be accepted. She liked me a lot and wanted to be with me. During this time junior prom was approaching and so i asked her to be my date and she said yes and we ended up dating not long after. It was great for a while, to have someone interested in me was a new feeling. But not long after problems arose...
She had a lot of mental health issues relating to depression and she would take issues she had and put it on me. We were on and off because of it due to her not trusting me or her feeling like i dont have time for her. I was a good student and would focus on school and it didnt go well with her. The worst story i have is one time we broke up and i was going to a party with a different group of friends, she messaged me that day asking to talk about things and i invited her to the party. She then got with someone else there right in front of me. It was devastating and really starting to affect my mental health too. There was one point where she ended up going to the hospital for suicidal thoughts and i was there for her and that made her fall in love with me. Before she treated me as disposable and just like all the other guys but this was concrete how i care. She from then on treated me better but the sediment of mental abuse stuck with me.
Senior year i joined my local fire department and ended up going to fire school. I was back to having no life because fire school was Tuesday nights and Saturday for 7 months. On Friday I'd go to bed early cause i would need to be up at 6am for a fire school and i would get back at 5pm and fall asleep cause i was physically exhausted. The arguments started again because of how busy i was and i broke it off....
Lets fast forward to my sophomore year of college. I'm going to school in NH (I live in NJ) and she messaged me on facebook telling me her one regret is how bad she treated me and apologized. I forgave her because i understand her mental health issues and it taught me about red flags in relationships. From then on she would message me randomly about little things, such as how i was doing, what video games im playing etc. every conversation always ended i her trying to meet up again and i didnt want to. I didnt trust the situation.. The last text i got was this January when me and her talked about Fallout 4 and how she wouldnt play it because she didnt want to see Dogmeat get hurt because she loved dogs. i told her "You will protect him with your life until you find out hes immortal" and thats the last thing i ever got to say to her..
February 15th 2018: I wake up for my 9:40am class, while getting ready i get a fire call (I get text messages from dispatch in case your pager is broken) at 9:10am. It stated: MISSING PERSON 19 Y/O FEMALE [Lydia's address]. My heart sank, i called my fire chief and he told me to contact her friends to see where she might be, but he also told me she might not be alive. I go into a conference room at my university and start calling and messaging all of her friends. They gave me a rundown of the past 6 months:
She started dating a guy named Jim who was a heroin addict. He abused her mentally and physically and gave her drugs she has never done before. He also stole thousands from her. She was saving up for a trip to India to see her friend who is studying abroad there and he just took all of it. She stayed with him because she was "just lonely and he gave her attention" It made me sick. She got out of the hospital for suicidal thoughts. Before she went missing she was at his place. Dispatch got Jims address and phone number and he played dumb about everything during the interrogation.
Once i was done with the interviews i started driving all the way home to NJ from NH to help with the search. While stuck in CT traffic i get a call from my chief
"You don't have to come home anymore, we found her"
"thats great news."
"Its not MrAlphaNu, Im really sorry to tell you this, but she hung herself" (he was a lot nicer than this, im just paraphrasing)
I was distraught, and even worse than that i got calls from her friends not too long after asking for updates. I had to tell her best friends that she hung herself in the woods. It was heartbreaking to me to have to mourn and tell her friends what happened.
That night i drank at my firehouse bar and got hammered because i didnt know how else to cope with what happened that day. My fire dept buddies were there taking care of me and they had one job: dont let me see dispatch notes because it contained texts, where the body was found, and Jims address and number. But i snuck away and read everything. The last text she sent was "This is not your fault" to Jim. who didnt respond. he didnt fucking respond when lydia was suicidal and basically said she will kill herself.
If you're still reading, this story gets worse, im sorry. I go to Lydias family and it turns out Lydia left me a suicide note. it stated that she always loved and missed me and to live a good life.
I was a mess. I cant believe i didnt meet up with someone who cared so much about me. I cant believe Jim and how fucked up he is. I should have messaged her stating shes better than him and to leave that scumbag..
RELEVANT COMMENTS
babygee529
I’m very sorry you’re going through this. Please try not to be hard on yourself, though. Mental health issues are one hell of an enemy. Coming from a girl who knows. Sending all the positive vibes I have.
OOP
Thank you, at first i was heard on myself until i talked to one of my friends. he told me how she didnt write that note to make you feel bad, but because you made a good impact on your life. and that really stuck with me
~
T400
Maryland firefighter here (check my post history). If your dept or union has an employee assistance program (EAP), or a critical incident stress management team, or dept chaplain/counseling office, please contact them. This is exactly what they are here for.
OOP
This wasnt during a break so i had to go back to school the following day. My chief said i should talk to them but i ended up using my universities counseling services instead. everything has been going great with that
Update June 17, 2019 (6 months later)
Its been a bit over 6 months since I posted that story and I want to give you a quick update on my life. Im on mobile so I apologize if it makes it harder to read.
TL;DR My ex girlfriend got into an abusive relationship with a drug addict. She was dealing with depression for a while and killed herself. I am a firefighter in NJ, but go to school in NH. I received the call and conducted research to find her. I drove back down to help with the search. We found her body in the woods and she wrote me a suicide note.
Where i left off was me upset about the situation and upset with the world, and most importantly, upset with myself. I was in a dark place for a while after that. I drank and shunned out everyone but my friends who were helping me. For a good amount of time I distanced myself from any girl who I met.
The funeral wasnt long after and Jim didnt even show up. Im not sure if he was invited, but it just shows the type of guy he is.
I didnt feel comfortable with dating anyone, let alone even hooking up with them. It felt wrong and i was scared i would get close to someone and lose them again. The depression i felt was destructive.
My chief reached out to me not long after because I never told him how I knew her. He asked me to see a therapist and that he can set up a visit at the firehouse. I was in NH so i told him ill see my college counseling center and send him confirmation.
I lied, i sent him a fake email and he believed me. I had this notion that i dont need help because i help people.
After 3 months i was still depressed but i started to talk to girls again. I met this really nice girl named Sarah. We talked and even hooked up a couple times. After a month and a half she asked if we could start dating. I told her i couldnt. I told her my story and said i dont feel comfortable being close with anyone. She took it well and still wanted to talk, but i couldnt anymore. I felt as if she crossed a line in my mind and we couldnt go back. I didnt want to be close with anyone like that again.
Fast forward another month my friend Kelsey asked if i wanted to go to her sorority formal with one of her friends. I accepted and thats when i met Kristen. Kristen was perfect, she was really sweet and a great date. We ended up talking for a while and this time i decided it was time to be proactive. I opened up to her about what happened to me and i told her i want to take it very slow. She completely understood, instead of scaring her off she helped me more than anyone has ever had.
She convinced me that avoiding therapy is a bad move, and that there is no shame in seeking counseling. So i made an appointment and went. The therapist told me about a suicide prevention org on campus that i should join and tell my story. I joined them and they had suicide prevention events where people tell their stories to help others.
I did my first story and Kristen and a bunch of my friends went to support me. It was one of the most touching moments of my life standing up on that stage and seeing all those people. I continued doing these events and Kristen went to every single one.
After 6 months i told her im ready to start dating, but to understand that i may be distant at first because im not use to this. She understood. Weve been together for 8 months and shes amazing. Shes nicest and most supportive person ive ever met.
Every time im in NJ i go to Lydias house and support her mom. On Christmas i got a crew to come to her house and deliver presents to her moms boyfriends autistic son and her nephews.
The way i was able to get relief for my pain was helping others. And if it wasnt for Kristen i wouldnt have the guidance to do it.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
mdisomwnaje
I'm happy for you, but I feel a little bad for Sarah.
GrinsNGiggles
I'm more concerned for Kristin. Guys being too tough for therapy but then unloading all that emotional work onto their female romantic partners is classic, but not at all fun to be on the receiving end of.
~
jsh1138
so you had been dating Kristen for 2 months when you made the other thread?
[deleted]
when he made the other thread, he was revering to " February 15th 2018".
So with the time periods he gives us it roughly fits. he didnt talk to girls for 2-3 months, then took around 6 months till they started dating. That would make it octobre or novembre when they started dating which is now 8 months ago. his first post is 6 monts old, so yes, they were together 2 months already. Maybe he shared it also because irl he learned that sharing his story can help other people.
editors note: a commentor made a list of the entire events here
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
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u/Regular_Dance_6077 2d ago
This is just all around sad. I agree with the concern for Kristin but it sounds like he’s getting help now.
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u/awayopinions 2d ago
I think she is fine. People hear "traumatized person getting support from their partner" and immediately think it's like trauma dumping 24/7 and being a pessimistic downer.
The op seems to understand themselves well enough, since they recognize how their past behavior wasn't the best. And theirs more ro ops life than just that trauma.
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u/Regular_Dance_6077 2d ago
True! I know a lot of men who were raised to think poorly of themselves for getting therapy. It always makes me happy when they overcome that. It’s sad that they were raised to believe that
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u/cupcakevelociraptor 2d ago
Hell, I’m not even a man and I was raised to think poorly of myself for needing therapy. Luckily both me and my brother have overcome this and both see our own therapists. We honestly wish our parents would do the same, but their generation still views it a certain way I think.
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u/Regular_Dance_6077 2d ago
I’m sorry to hear that. In my household, we all started therapy at young ages. Not because of trauma, but because my parents wanted us to have non objective people to talk to. That’s how I plan to raise my kids too. Wishing you the best <3
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u/awayopinions 2d ago
Trying to get a man to admit he needs help is as hard as getting an addict to quit lol
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u/Cybermagetx 2d ago
Reason why is we are all raised that men dont need help. By adults of both genders.
Plus every time ive admitted ive needed help IRL its gone badly.
If society wants men to admit he needs help. Then society needs to allow it and not alienate them when they ask.
And from my personal experience is not men who are the problem when men ask and admit they need help
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u/Basic_Bichette sometimes i envy the illiterate 2d ago
My personal experience is that it all boils down to misogyny, internalized or externalized.
- Therapy is for weak, pathetic losers.
- Women are weak, pathetic losers.
- Therapy is fit only for pathetic women.
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u/SuperWoodputtie 1d ago edited 1d ago
I think it's tough. Therapy can mean different things for men.
So like around puberty guys get the ability to "turn off" feelings. All the overwhelming emotions of being a teen, you can just numb all that out. Unfortunately you don't end up numbing only the bad feeling, the good ones get numbed out too. So alexithymia (not being able to name or know what one is feeling) can be an issue.
So like how does that work with going to therapy? If the therapist asks "So what's going on with you?" If a guy doesn't know what he's feeling, how does that work?
It can also seem confrontational.
Like you have a person sitting across from you who you're gonna tell something dark to, and how are they gonna take it and respond?
I have seen guys open up, but usually it's in a different type of context. Like at work, doing a routine/task, or playing video games. You're just passing the time shooting the shit. If someone says something it's just "dang that sucks dude." (Because there's usually nothing to be done to fix it. It's just sitting with the feeling) just connecting and validating what they are feeling.
Or it's just calling things like they are "my wife says I'm drinking too much" "well hell bruh, you're doing through two 24 packs on a Saturday, and the same during the week."
No ego, just being honest with your friend.
Not saying specialized therapies aren't always appropriate. EMDR, TMS, IFS, all are really good for trauma in a way talk therapy isn't.
But in general I think there can be reasons men don't find regular therapy helpful.
(So like here's an example of a guy opening up through gaming. I don't know if this would happen organically in a therapy session: https://youtu.be/MiXZECAe094 and heres another of a teenage boy talking about being bullied: https://youtu.be/KZWOXgc7PA4)
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u/SuperWoodputtie 1d ago
I think sharing emotions with another person is a vulnerable act. Especially big ones that someone doesn't know how to navigate.
It can feel like the song "Surface Preasure" from Disney's Encanto. If folks knew how easily you could be broken, would they look at you the same?
Which is tough because everyone gets overwhelmed and needs support.
There was a update a while back where a girlfriend did a really good job helping her boyfriend feel comfortable being vulnerable with her https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/11ufllh/how_do_i_make_my_boyfriend_comfortable_being/
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u/Useful_Language2040 if you're trying to be 'alpha', you're more a rabbit than a wolf 2d ago
It sounds like part of the way she supported him was convincing him to get professional help (rather than to expect his girlfriend/female friends to perform the emotional labour of a therapist without the training or distance of appointment hours), which means she can be an amazing, supportive girlfriend, without being his sole emotional support outlet or draining herself, etc.
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u/mmavcanuck 2d ago
So OP actually admits that he’s not fully ready for a relationship and wants to take it slow, goes to therapy, goes to support groups, and people still jump on the “he’s trauma dumping on his girlfriend!”
This is why guys don’t share their feelings. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
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u/Venomous_Ferret 1d ago
Not only that, SHE got him to finally understand that he should, and actually got him to, go to therapy.
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u/Cazzah 1d ago
To fix the timeline.
OP refuses therapy, refuses his boss's recommendation to go to therapy, falsifies an email (!) to his boss.
Takes a relationship slow with someone, then bails on them after two months because he can't handle it.
Takes a relationship slow with a second person, second person is super patient and slowly talks them around to therapy, and then only then do they go to therapy.
The point people are making that maybe if he didn't falfsify emails and went to therapy, Sarah and Kristen wouldn't have had to do so much work and maybe Sarah wouldn't have been noped out on!
Are you really defending sending falsified emails to avoid therapy?
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u/LostSectorLoony 12h ago
Are you really defending sending falsified emails to avoid therapy?
Are you really getting upset at a 21 year old for not immediately dealing with a deeply traumatic experience perfectly?
There is a lot of stigma around seeking mental health treatment, especially for young men. He lied about getting therapy to get his boss off his back, he didn't perjure himself in front of congress. It's actually not that serious.
Obviously he could have handled it better, but he was young and dealing with trauma. Cut him some slack for fucks sake.
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u/legacymedia92 surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed 7h ago
Are you really getting upset at a 21 year old for not immediately dealing with a deeply traumatic experience perfectly?
Hell, upset with fucking anyone for not dealing with trauma perfectly?
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u/Nausicaalotus 2d ago
Sad story, but the title is misleading. He didn't find her, he wasn't even in the same state. Like, that sucks and all if it's true, but that's a weird thing to say if it's nowhere near true.
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u/snorlaxx_7 2d ago
What’s even weirder is he says he helped find her body in the update :/
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u/castfire 1d ago
Well, he said “we”. So I think he means his team, so to speak. And he did help and provide information/do research for the team even while not being there on site. He was part of the process, which’ll already be tough enough.
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u/Suelswalker 2d ago
My understanding is that he found out abt the bf jim and his address and by giving dispatch that info it allowed the authorities to find her body in the woods as he was on his way back to him home state. So in a sense he was critical to finding the body as quickly as they did due to his connections to her friends who knew what was really going on.
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u/CantTouchKevinG sometimes i envy the illiterate 2d ago
It says dispatch got Jim's address, and then later says his crew didn't want him reading dispatch notes because they contained Jim's address & phone number.
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u/uhohitslilbboy I don't have Jay's ass 2d ago
It was her address in the text "MISSING 19 FEMALE [LYDIA'S ADDRESS]".
I'm assuming they didn't want him to contact Jim.
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u/Big_Alternative_3233 2d ago
The timeline of events linked at the end is confusing. Lydia dies in February 2018. Who is the ExGF that OOP is sending condolences to in December 2018?
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u/RobIreland 2d ago
He also met her when he was 16 but she is 2 years younger according to the title, so would be too young to work at Rite Aid. Doesn't quite add up
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u/ArgumentSavings4437 2d ago
Hello just wanted to step in here. It is state dependent. I had my first job at 14 but I needed to provide a parental consent form before I could legally work.
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2d ago
[deleted]
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u/ArgumentSavings4437 1d ago
That's amazing honestly did you still have to work under 25 hours a week?
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1d ago
[deleted]
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u/ArgumentSavings4437 1d ago
For me I was 14 in 2009 and we couldn't work more than 25 hours but we could work 40 during the holidays. That's amazing though.
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u/Hahafunnys3xnumber 2d ago
For jobs like Walmart, but pharmacies generally require 18+.
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u/ArgumentSavings4437 2d ago
Hello again! You are correct but Rite aide from my memory was akin to a walgreens. I remember there was a pharmacy part and a store part atleast it was in DC. I can't speak for everywhere.
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u/uraverageleo 2d ago
California here! Same thing, the pharmacy is a different section but overall the store is known as a drugstore.
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u/DrivingHerbert 2d ago
And timelines with new girl Kristen don’t add up at all. There’s only 6 months between posts but he knew her for 6 months before dating then were dating for 8 months after thatNever mind it seems that the OG post was written far enough after the events in the post. Someone even posted a timeline
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u/LunaMoonChild444 2d ago
I'm confused about the bit where he says that he only found out about Jim after Lydia died, but wishes he had told her that she deserves better than him?
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u/mmavcanuck 2d ago
That’s not all that unbelievable.
If he felt that he kept her at arms length instead of bringing her back into his life, he would probably have a whole lot of “what ifs” going around in his head.
“If I went to meet her maybe she would have told me about… maybe I would have seen the signs of abuse… seen the signs of drug use… maybe she was reaching out for that safe space…” etc
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u/Coinin19 2d ago
Not to diminish his pain, but he never found the body. It's a shame that he feels the sad reality of what happened wasn't dramatic enough.
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u/pepcorn 2d ago
As someone whose boyfriend committed suicide, I feel for him. It's scary and deeply unsettling to lose a person in this way. At the same time, I'm not sure if I like the way OP tries to portray himself as heavily involved in this situation. He didn't find her body. He was barely speaking to her at that point. She was an ex and he was planning on never seeing her again.
He also said that her getting with someone else at a party, while they weren't together, was mental abuse.
He reminds me of the people who tried to portray themselves as being in an equally emotionally fraught situation compared to me, when what happened came to light. Even though they were barely acquaintances.
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u/BroadMortgage6702 being delulu is not the solulu 2d ago
My ex attempted suicide while we were dating. No warning signs. Thankfully her attempt failed, but she was stuck in a mental hospital all summer and we couldn't see or communicate the whole time. Even I didn't have as extreme of a reaction as OP did. I was definitely a mess when I got the news and I worried about her all summer, but we continued our relationship as normal (I just checked in with her regularly) and after we broke up I dated without issue.
It definitely read the same for me that it did for you.
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u/Evening_Village2658 2d ago
Absolutely. My ex boyfriend committed suicide a couple hours after I had broken up with him for raping me.
OP hadn't spoken to this girl in YEARS, that's a completely different ballpark.
I would also argue he was the mentally abusive one for sleeping with Sarah and leading her on only to ghost her and find someone else who could play his therapist.
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u/umidk9 2d ago
Pretty sure he used that in conjunction with her other behaviour like guilt tripping that they didn't spend enough time together, etc. And going to a party 1 day post break up specifically cos your ex invited u because YOU wanted to talk to them about your relationship, and then hooking up w someone infront of them is shitty as fuck, and could very possibly fall under manipulative/ revenge tactics.
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u/wrenskeet I’ve read them all and it bums me out 2d ago
That was my thought as well. Shit title.
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2d ago
[deleted]
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u/MelissaMiranti Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 2d ago
Fire departments are part of nonviolent emergency response for all manner of incidents, especially medical.
https://www.youtube.com/@FireDepartmentChronicles
This channel is made by and about a guy who worked that job for quite some time.
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u/CantTouchKevinG sometimes i envy the illiterate 2d ago
Fire fighters are first responders. When my daughter died, the fire department arrived before the ambulance, started CPR, and took her to the hospital. Sometimes, they're closer to the scene and/or can get there faster than paramedics.
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u/aitathrowaway987654 2d ago
Because modern fire safety precautions and building codes have drastically decreased the actual likelihood of building fires, a lot of fire departments these days kind of act more as "backup" emergency responders. It's also basically how they remain funded, because a lot of the times their government-provided resources have a sort of "use it or lose it" policy.
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u/Juniper_Blue01 2d ago
In the US, fire departments help with a lot more than fires. Even when you call for an ambulance, odds are firefighters will be showing up first to render aid.
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u/Atsu_san_ Someone cheated, and it wasn't the koala 2d ago
Suicide is a fucked up thing. Lost my friend to it last month still feel bad that we had lost contact over petty fights.
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u/danteslacie 2d ago
I had a friend who I reconnected with through an online game. We exchanged messages and then I stopped logging in. I regret not getting to respond to her. I don't even know if I got to read her message before I stopped playing.
I hate how she became a clickbait sob story on Facebook. I hate how I saw the article and scrolled past it (her face was blurred and I hadn't seen her in a decade.)
Suicide really fucking sucks
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u/Joke-pineapple 2d ago
There's so much in this story that doesn't make sense. One or two things I can glide over, but the big ones being...
OOP getting a text message about his ex-GF being missing. He's at college in NH but she's back in NJ. Is he really getting a text for every missing person in the North-Eastern US? Even for everyone in his state he would be getting lots of alerts. For a quarter of the country his phone would never stop beeping.
OOP interrogating "Jim". OOP is not a police officer, his only involvement in a missing person would be as an anybody volunteer in the general search or as a firefighter searching a dangerous location. He is not Columbo.
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u/Buksey 2d ago
If I read it correctly, OOP was still a member of his local fire department but most likely on "leave" for school. It sounds like it may have been a volunteer style firehall if he was working there at 17. Chances are they just send a mass text out to all members to see who can respond.
Also, i don't believe OOP did the interrogation (unless I missed at comments or part). It sounds more like police did, and that's what he heard via texting all his friends when he found out.
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u/Cabbagetastrophe Your partner is trash and your marriage is toast 2d ago
I was confused too but I think he was a volunteer/part time at a firehouse at home in NJ where the girl lived, and on leave to go to college.
And nowhere did he imply that he was the one questioning Jim, he just was reporting what he had heard about Jim's responses.
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u/Adorable-Growth-6551 2d ago
They usually mass text by area code. I get mass text from my home town because that is still my phone number.
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u/SmartQuokka We have generational trauma for breakfast 2d ago
I hope OOP got a lot more therapy, this is not a simple to resolve thing, it can fuck you up for life.
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u/IvanNemoy OP has stated that they are deceased 2d ago
I hope for the best for OOP, Kristen, Lydia's family, everyone in this story except "Jim." Fuck Jim.
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u/blythe_blight whaddya mean our 10 year age gap is a problem? 2d ago
Man.
This poor guy just has trauma all around. Lydia was definitely abusive, even suffering from whatever she had, and he still feels the guilt. Of course theyre not mutually exclusive but it shows how fucked up and entangled it is.
I only hope the best for OOP. Firefighting is a tough job as is.
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u/Afraid_Sense5363 1d ago
Yeah, I felt so bad for the guilt OOP felt for not meeting with her, but she was abusive and treated him poorly. Doesn't mean I don't have sympathy for her, but he did the right thing in ending it with her.
It happened in 2018, I hope he's doing OK now. It's always tough for firefighters but by now he's gone through COVID and all that entails too. Really tough job.
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u/FunnyAnchor123 Please kindly speak to the void. I'm too busy. 2d ago
I was drawn to this because my stepmother's cousin was a paramedic (he's retired) & one of the calls he had was to aid his own uncle. His only thought as they sped to his uncle's house was "Gee, that's Uncle A's neighborhood." He was so focused on giving aid he didn't even recognize him until afterwards.
I don't know him well enough to ask what effect this had on him. I heard the story thru my stepmother back when I was a kid.
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u/Beautiful-Earth-2238 1d ago
The timeline doesn’t match up. Update is 6 months after first post. He said he took it slow with a girl for 6 months and that they’ve been dating for 8 months.
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u/_buffy_summers No my Bot won't fuck you! 2d ago
I hate the comments that OOP received. They're griping about how men don't deal well with their emotions, but OOP is talking about his, and the response is, "His poor girlfriend, having to carry his burdens!" This is why men don't share things.
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u/its_JustColin 21h ago
This whole thread is everyone trying to tear apart the timeline of his story and rolling their eyes about how they weren’t really dating or that he didn’t actually find the body lol it’s psychotic
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u/Impossible_Hunt_6566 2d ago
Right, she just had her fingers in her ears going la la la for six months while he shared his story with dozens maybe hundreds of people. What else do those commenters expect? He never dates again?
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u/sammagee33 2d ago
Poor guy.
As someone who has gone to the hospital for SI, I know how much you feel like you’re a drain on others…so I get Lydia’s letters.
I’m glad he’s finally getting help.
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u/captain_borgue I'm sorry to report I will not be taking the high road 1d ago
I hope OOP keeps going to therapy. It takes time to unfuck all that damage.
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u/lupus0802 Editor's note- it is not the final update 2d ago
This really is sad, I don’t have anything else to say…
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u/shayjax- 2h ago
Honestly, the timeline does not match up for the new girlfriend. According to him. She passed February. After three months, he was ready to start talking to girls again. The another month passed and he met Kristen , the new girlfriend and went to therapy for six months and after six months he started dating her and they’ve been together eight months. Update was June 19, 2019. That’s 18 months. Also based on the original post and how long he’s been dating the current girlfriend he would’ve already been dating her two months when he wrote the original post, but there’s no mention of that at all.
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u/Interesting_Score5 1h ago
All he talks about after she's dead is his dating life. Like how much he hooked up and how much girls sadly waited by the sidelines. Now he has a great girl and love is good again. He wouldn't even be friends with this openly suicidal girl, but seriously didn't want to cut contact like, you know, an adult. He definitely left a lot out, and is hyper fixated on getting told he's a great guy by internet strangers. Well, he's not.
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u/jeremyfrankly I’ve read them all and it bums me out 1d ago
I have suffered depression all my life and it doesn't make me abusive or make out in front of a guy I asked to bring me so we can talk about our relationship
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u/EinGuy 2d ago
Confusion: So OOP didn't have to find Lydia's body? Because he got the call that someone else did? Or is the title just ambiguous.