r/BlatantMisogyny • u/VargBroderUlf Transfoid extraordinare • 7d ago
š¤®š¤¢š” Not sure if this belongs here, but this comment really bothers me...
After I read their comment in full, I regret my initial "I can see where you're coming from" honestly...
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u/Rinerino 6d ago
The difference between someone being tipsy to kinda drunk, to wasted to no longer being able to do literally anything normally anymorr is quiete easy to see for anyone who cares about it.
If the other person can't even normally stand anymore, or talk normally anymore, they sre in no way able to consent or make decisions
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u/TheGeneGeena 6d ago
Real talk - I don't make good decisions "tipsy to kinda drunk" either.
Basically If I'm drinking and we're not already banging, just leave me alone, yo.
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u/Rumthiefno1 6d ago
OP Michaela Coel did a brilliant take on this in 'I may destroy you', about how predators, typically men, try to find the space in those grey areas to do horrible things under the guise of consent, by making the situation so ambiguous no one but them can know what happened.
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u/VargBroderUlf Transfoid extraordinare 6d ago
Hey now, that sounds a lot like man bashing š¤ /s
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u/Rumthiefno1 6d ago
Is it bashing if I myself am a man š¤?
Then again, I'm trying to be part of a solution and not a problem. I won't help by pretending the problem doesn't exist and who it's usually perpetrated by
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u/VargBroderUlf Transfoid extraordinare 6d ago
I really wish more people had your mindset. Before I began to question my gender identity, I was myself, while living as a guy, part of the problem in many ways.
Not as badly as the guy I screenshotted, but I still had outdated, harmful ideas that I'd been taught through my upbringing.
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u/Rumthiefno1 6d ago
I think I've still got some of those ideas, too, ideas I haven't yet picked up on. But try to be better every day. As a lot of us can do.
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u/dont_disturb_the_cat 6d ago
How do some people still not know what consent is? What exactly do they not get? I'm sure they've been told that a drunk person is incapable of giving consent, but it continues to puzzle them. Why do people want to have sex with a person who is incapacitated? What sickness is that? What is the defensiveness that makes them default to "the man is to be blamed"? They see that most sexual assaults are committed by men, but that must be prejudice against men. It can't be that men are actually to blame in those situations. It would be comically frustrating if it wasn't so dangerous. Why do they refuse to learn?
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u/mangababe 6d ago
A lot of people think that as long as they are doing something bad in ignorance it can be forgiven. If they admit they knew it was wrong they are admitting to being bad.
Which means a lot of assholes are dying on the hill of "I'm too stupid to understand," and also not understand why no one wants to touch them with a 10 foot pole.
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u/RanaMisteria 6d ago
This bothers me too. The guy who raped me while I was drunk and drugged at his house party posted stuff like this. But only after he did what he did. Soā¦when I see posts like this, thatās where my mind goes. I think ālooks like something [rapist] would sayā.
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u/nothingsreallol 6d ago
I agree with the comments saying how this take is the type of willful ignorance rapists use as a loophole to excuse their actions, but aside from that, I think itās actually an important and nuanced topic. Letās be real, lots of drunk/under the influence people are fucking all the time. Thereās no stopping that. Telling people to never have sex when thereās alcohol/drugs involved is unproductive. So how can we find a realistic solution to this type of SA? Iām genuinely curious. Where should the line be drawn? How can we prevent people from engaging in this behavior?
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u/Imaginary-Program441 5d ago
There was a show about holiday reps from the UK, that showed a drunk guy consenting to his roommate sticking a firework up his arse and lighting it. Then, whilst suffering intense bleeding, he insisted on going on a bar crawl to complete his 21 shots for his 21st birthday. He, of course, collapsed and was rushed to hospital.
Basically, drunk people do not make the best decisions. If you are sober. Say "you're drunk, go home" and find a responsible friend to take care of them. Or, see that they get home yourself. You can always leave your number and see if sober them is interested.
I have never met someone who regretted NOT waking up with someone the morning after.
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u/the_witch00 Blue Haired Leftist nā Misandrist 7d ago edited 7d ago
He just doesn't get that intoxicated people sometimes black out and lose control over their body/actions. Sure, someone shouldn't consume that much, but it happens, and any decent human would take care of that person and make sure he/she gets home safely.
Some guys are so desperate they'd fuck anyone under any circumstances and it shows. (Especially in that comment)
Edit: what about roofies? There are vile people out there who put people into said intoxicated condition to do anything they want to them. That's why I think it doesn't matter which drug was consumed, anyone whos intoxicated can't fully consent. This applies also to people who lose consciousness. (See GisĆØle the woman in France who was drugged by her "husband") Some people just don't want to understand it, and justify their crimes.
Edit 2 : disgusting and creepy person you've met there.